Show 0 se ri erea w a 5 private hargrove ty by marion hargrove W ai V U L IF FIRST SERGEANT CLAR ENCE A GOLDSMITH i back in the old battery batt ery where I 1 was supposed POs ed to have learned the art of cooking for the army ever evee gets his hands on this it will provide him with amusement through out a long hard winter 1 when he reads that private edward thomas marion lawton latvian hargrove argrove is is gi giving V advice to prospective soldiers i his derisive bellow will disturb the training program in the next regiment I 1 my GOO god he will roar look chos learning who how to do what my godl god the blind leading the blind was once said sergeant goldsmith by the eminent vegetarian george bernard S shaw haw that he who can does he who cant teaches this dear sergeant is my contribution trib ution to do the army and to posterity please go anay and leave us young people to our studies CHAPTER I 1 it if I 1 were giving advice to the boys who have already been called into the army and will go away in a few days id sum it all up in this paint the town red led for the rest ol of your civilian week pay no attention to the advice that Is being poured into your defenseless ears for twenty four hours a day form an idea ot of what army life is going to be like leave your mind open two weeks from now you will be i thoroughly disgusted with your new job you will have been herded from place to place you will have wandered in nakedness and bewilderment through miles of physical examination you will look upon inacy vacy and individuality as things you left behind you to in a golden civilian society oci ety Pro probably bibly you will have developed a murderous hatred for at least one I 1 sergeant and two corporals you wm will writhe and fume under what you consider brutality and sa sadism cism and lyou will wonder how an enlightened nation can permit such atrocity in ailts i its army take it easy brother take it easy keep this ons one beam of radiant hope constantly before you the first three weeks are the hardest for those first three or possibly lour four weeks you will bear the greatest part of the painful process of adjusting yourself to an altogether now new r routine atine in those first three weeks you will get almost the full required dose of confusion and in misery you will be afraid to leave your barracks lest the full wrath of the war department tall fall upon you L you yon dont got get anywhere by buying soda pop or beer for your sergeant you will find yourself unbelievably awkward and clumsy when you try to learn the drills and the knowledge ot of this awkwardness will make you even more awkward unless you relax you can be very unhappy during those first three weeks when you are assigned to your you basic training center really get into it drill and drill a little more each day and when the sergeant ergeant tries to correct or advise you want to tear his throat out with your bare hands be lick ot of the sound of his voice before an hour has passed the only comfort I 1 con can give you is the knowledge that the poor sergeant Is having a time too he knows what youre thinking and ana he cant do anything about it be inoculated against smallpox typhoid tetanus yellow fever pneumonia and practically all the other ills that flesh Is heir to be taught toot foot drill the handling of a rifle the use of the gas mask the peculiarities of military vehicles and the intricacies of military courty courtesy I 1 most of what you are taught will impress YOU you as utterly useless nonsense but learn it e inflated into the mm s of vie the police probe bly before youve been in the army for or a week possibly two days lat er be 0 sent on a ration detail to handle huge bundles of groceries haul coal and trash and as ashes hes you 11 unpack rines rifles that ae burled buried in heavy grease and yo coill ae 11 clean that grease off them stoke fires mop nooks floors and put a high polish on the windows wonder it if youve been yanked out of civil llie life for or this all your persecution Is deliberate ca calculated systematic it is collegiate practice of hazing applied to the grim and highly important task ot of transforming a civilian into a soldier a boy into a man it is the hardening process you wont get depressed w wont ont feel sorry for or yourself just get mad as hell you 11 be breathing fire before its over believe me or not at the end 0 of f that minor ordeal be feeling good be full of spirit and energy and you will have found yourself look at the new men coming in to go through the same hardening period and look at the them m with a fatherly and sympathetic eye they will be rookies to you a veteran of almost a month for practical advice there is none better than the golden rule of the army keep your eyes open and your mouth shut at first probably be inclined to tremble at the sight of every corporal who passes you on the street you might even salute the first class privates then when the top sergeant neglects td beat you with a knout they rub GI these two letters are the cornerstone of your future army vocabulary they stand for the words government issue and just about everything you get in the army will be GI even the official advice this story on the other hand band is not GI salt into wounds you might want to go to the other extreme this way madness lies when corporals and sergeants are to be dealt with always remember this make friendships first and leave the joking until later when its the top sergeant it might be best to leave the jolting joking permanently it can be very easy to start your military life on the wrong toot foot by giving your officers and noncommissioned officers the impression that youre a wise ise guy a smart aleck soldiers like senators dont like for a new guy to shoot his mouth off so much for the bonts on the do side the most important thing for or you to watch is your attitude As a matter of straight and practical fact the best thing that you can do is to reason that you are going into a new job the job is temporary but while you have it its highly important As when you go into a new job in civil life you do your damnedest darn edest to impress your employer with your earnestness your diligence your interest in your work go thou and do likewise in the army As in your civilian job the impression is made in the first few weeks you make that impression starting from the very first day by learning as quickly as you can by applying yourself with energy to each task no matter how small or how unpleasant it is you dont get anywhere by buying soda pop or beer for your sergeant pa brodle brodie griffith managing editor of the charlotte news adjusted his ancient green eyeshade and began glancing through a sheaf of copy hargrove he said lighting a cigarette it beats the hell out of me what late did mean tor for you dr garinger down at the high school said years ago thal tha it write a formal education in in on your budget belmont abbey found out that you destined to be worth a hoot as a public relations man for a benedictine edic tine college the drugstore chain in washington said you had neither the talent nor the temperament for soda jerking and you certainly fizzled as a theater usher maybe fate dont know you may I 1 have a cigarette I 1 asked reaching before he could protect them day after day I 1 work roy my fingers to the shoulder blades tor for neither thanks nor living wage I 1 am the feature editor of a progressive growing newspaper what makes it that M my y hearts blood makes it that 1 I would fire you tomorrow he sighed if anyone else could bly straighten out the chaos you have brought to this office in the most underpaid brotherhood in the world you are the most overpaid two headed brother 1 11 I am the most underpaid six armed siva I 1 snorted look at met mel I 1 am the feature editor the abi obituary obit oary iary editor the vi omans page pae editor the hospital editor fhe th e ie re write man the assistant to the city editor the commissar for paste and copy paper and cokes the custodian of oral memoranda the publics whipping boy the translator and copyist of 0 pen open forum letters the castigator castl gator ot of the composing room taff staff 8 the guest artist for ailing col the tourist guide for visiting school children the press depre at barbecue a suppers r 3 0 ot f the brotherhood ot of muen plumbed b e I 1 and fitters the butt of the of 0 dice flee joks 11 Per loi loc said mr griffith new para paragraph grapE 41 1 I lead a terrible turbulent life I 1 walled wailed 1 I 1 am the man forgotten by destiny it you wit will get your elbows off my desk he h said the boy can put the mall mail on oa it what you need he continued sorting through a batch of letters is a tour of military service the army would make a man 0 of you I 1 was in the army in the last war A top sergeant at eighteen the army did wonders for me not much of a sales argument I 1 told him then again he said it i we must take up my whole busy day weeping over your sorrows lets let s not burden the army when it has a job already concerning the whole hole matter I 1 would suggest that you apply yourself to making up the womans comans page right now lest you come down tomorrow morning and find someone else sitting in your chair leave my sight theres not a letter there from new york I 1 asked with my Z el 1 iva f I 1 I 1 az well my lad he said with faint glee we know what fate means for you you can be happy now name written on it in a delightfully illegible feminine and slightly redheaded hand ls Is there ever he snorted let lets s see and he went through the stack well my lad he said with faint glee at last were getting somewhere we know what fate means for you you can be happy now he handed me a long white inno cent looking envelope addressed to me the return address read selective service system mecklenburg county board number three the president of the united states to marion hargrove gree greetings the boy across the table in the piedmont grill lifted both hands and clapped his brow three times he looked at the clock then back at his breakfast then back at the clock my name is hargrove I 1 said handing him a cigarette mine is piel he said melvin piel tomorrow maybe you can make it private on the front I 1 so long as youre healthy I 1 said shrugging a shoulder it cuts down on the income tax my hay fever he walled wailed what will I 1 do with my hay fever in the jungles ol of south carolina tor for maneuvers neu vers with my hay fever oy just look at it he be said on the way to the bus station maybe a posthumous medal my grandchildren will get ifil private vate melvin piel alel who gave his life valiantly and through the nose from hay fever yet sneezing to glory the bus station on that morning in july was a pathetic apathetic picture four large groups of boys reconciled to the grim and gruesome life ahead of them were bade farewell by walling wailing mothers and nobly suffering girl friends who had corne come down to see their loved ones oil off in a blaze of pathos it was pretty terrible the buses swung out of the terminal through midtown mid town and out toward the road to fayetteville the boys began to feel better shouted farewells to startled girls on the street and finally broke into raucous song four flowers of the nation started a blackjack game on a suitcase in the back of the bus brother spirits brightened a little his smooth voice found its iti way through the hay fever and emerged in song itt its a lovely day tomorrow he sang tomorrow Is a lovely d day TO BE CONTINUED |