Show t S S SS te S S VISITS WITH WI TO i Alice U is Right T LICE Greenwood Greenwoo S writing to her I sex sex says Dont nt whine for the p. p love of Heaven d do don't dont o nt wh whine I n ne i 5 q There Is nothing that so completely complete complete- I ly upsets a man manS man'S S 'S and makes him I wish hed he'd bought a dog Instead of a am amar m mar a r r ta gie ge 11 II- cens cense j Alice Is IB right II of course dont don't whine but the advice advice advice ad ad- vice Is just as good for tor the thA man as the woman Dont Don't whine No matter who has taken taken takena a kick at you down downtown downtown town no matter who has stuck a knife In your ribs I or put burrs under your saddle or thrown salt in your eyes dont don't whine I What good does It do to whine ilCa a mollycoddle trait anyhow If It you must swear dont If you must swear anyhow swear Dont Don't whine Go home homo and make home cheerful Its It's the only place in the world where the world cannot sow tacks and broken glass before your a automobile Its It's the only the only haven you have against the man who Is after your Job or the Iconoclast who Is trying to break up your business It Is your nest nest and and when you whine you defile defile it it Keep it sweet and restful and comfortable Dont Don't whine there yourself and dont don't allow anyone else to do dolL It I If your wife persists In making home like the street stab her with a bologna sausage sausage sausage sau sau- sage and go to prison for life lire as a matter of choice b These so called homes that are merely a rendezvous for fora a man and his wife to whine at each other and tell teU all aU their real realand and Imaginary troubles are not homes at all aU in the truer sense and the sooner they are broken up the better it will be for the inmates Dont Don't whine n n n At Home My Sly wife has gone to town to shop And wont won't be home till tm almost night Out on the screened screened-ln porch I sit And think up crazy things to write A cow-bird cow In a 0 pig-nut pig tree Is singing at me Ill I'll bet she buys bUs an evening gown Or sixteen feet teet of ot costly lace A merry widow hat To shade her glowing piquant face Ho See that red-head red chasing bugs And digging angleworms and slugs She is Is' some restless staying home And so she goes to town to shop And gets all tired out and hot- hot There goes a hopper in her crop I mean the heads head's crop you know- know lly My wife is not built bunt like a crow crowl Just see that dog bull-dog chase the cat call Here Quit that sir you pesky lout But Dut here this isn't sawing wood wood- And now that 1 blooming pipe is Js out Tie thus I 1 stay at home to write write- Aint this here pome a perfect fright u tJ 1 11 Silhouettes S The fellow lellow who feels eels like a fish out of water knows ws how bow it seems to get hook hook H the I 6 r tr We would never learn the truth about certain folks If Ir they didn't t quarrel quarrel quarrel rel occasionally r to it It is hard for tor some men to remember her ber they are rire gentlemen when they never have been r fr fr frA A small boy always revises Ills definition deft deft- of a strait when in after arter life ure I he ho gets in a poker game ir r fr frA A girl squeals when you kiss her for the same reason that a saucy little pig does when it drinks sweet milk tr r r Look out for the darkey who prays for chicken His prayers may be an aIr answered If It your coop door remains un un- un locked r tr tr trIn In Bohemia courtships last 20 years No wonder we speak of Bohemia Bohemia Bo Bo- Bo- Bo hemia hernia as a land of lotus leaves and honey or words to that effect 6 t tr When sleep is not sl sleep ep but fretful waking it is ten times Umes worse than daylight consciousness a a demon that chases away comfort and rest and peace and sets upon the human mind minda a horde of biting wolves that harass and annoy r 6 tt r This must be a good old world after all nU A few days das ago I l left tt my la Ia a on the time suburban train and yesterday yester yester- yesterday day the tho conductor returned It to me My wife wire bad had told me inc I never would see that umbrella again but just to show my sunny disposition I assured her of my confidence that It would be restored to me It pays to have faith I t can see that n es i n n V VA A Tip for Advertisers Did anyone ever SN sea a card cord of ot thanks or an obituary painted and posted up In some oine mans man pasture beside the road for tor forthe the he passersby to read We never er did They are alwa always found In the columns of some come newspaper where they wilt will b bread be read by the people Instead of ot cattle and Jackasses If It cards of thanks etc ar arc are best belt c t read rad In the tha columns column of ot newspapers why should hould not your advertisements also aJao bet Teague Teague Tex Chronicle J J JOld Old Love Letters Oh where are aro the letters etters of ot yesterday yesterday- The letters of love I mean Oh some lome have o b been n printed In book books I know The rag man ha has ha some ome I And others othe are carefully put awa away Where hubby wont won't find the things some someS someday S day Yv i I r ii i 31 |