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Show The Park Record A-18 SS-----~^ - Sat/Sun/Mon/Tues, November 12-15,2005 1 MORE DO6$ ON MAIN STREET Please-Help Us This Thanksgiving! You can give a delicious Thanksgiving dinner to a hungry and homeless person for $1.57. Salt Lake City Mission will serve turkey and dressing, mashed potatoes and gravy, green beans, corn, a roll and a big piece of pumpkin pie. Your help will also provide clean clothes, spiritual encouragement and so much more to each person. We expect to serve 8,000 meals this Thanksgiving season. O O O O G O $15.70 for 10 hungry and homeless people $31.40 for 20 hungry and homeless people $47.10 for 30 hungry and homeless people $62.80 for 40 hungry and homeless people $157.00 for 100 hungry and homeless people Other $ Cost arc approximate, include operation expenses and may be used for programs to help the homeless throughout ifi Not affiliated with the Rescue Mission of Salt Lake Name Address City/State/Zip_ _Apt._ Salt Lake City Mission A good meal is often the first step to a new life! P.O. Box 142 You will receive a tax-deductible receipt. Salt Lake City, UT 84110-0142 Please mail your gift today! for more info visit our web site at www.saltlakecitymission.org. PR NOWMtLT • Engineered for Park City Climate • Automatic Sensor • High Efficiency • Maintenance Free • Cost Effective • Commercial/Residential Save Your Back... Get SnowMelt! EXCITING NEW STAMPED DRIVEWAY DESIGNS! Stamped Concrete Is Our Beauty...Quality. Craftsmanship Is Our Business Call Diamond Keystone. Construction Now at 801-272-3155 __^_ 30 Years of Experience. Licence #371147 By Tom Clyde Pirates on the high seas Gopher will swing into action. Before the pirates can break down the doors to the first class buffet, the chorus from the on-board cast of "Hello Dolly" will swing into attacked by pirates off the coast of East Africa. It^ a action. They'll sing and dance those nasty pirates off the story that appeals on so many levels. The cruise ship decks before they can say, "Arrgh!" I had to do a little research on the "sonic device" the "Seabourn Spirit" with 300 passengers was sailing through the Red Sea and down the eastern coast of news reports said was used to repulse the attack. At first, Africa, visitingsuch garden spots as Eritrea, Djibouti and I just assumed that Kathy Lee Gifford had resumed her Somalia. It was about 100 miles off the coast of Somalia singing career. Another option would be to play tapes of when the 300-foot luxury liner catne under fire from a typical National Public Radio fundraiser. Nothing pirates in small, 25-foot boats that sound like somebody's would repulse a pirate attack more quickly than a rewater ski boat from Lake Powell. The pirates fired on the broadcast of KUER's recent beg-a-thon, I was ready to ship with automatic weapons, and launched a rocket- plunge into Jordanelle Reservoir during that. But it turns propelled grenade that blew one of the cruise ship's state- out the sonic device was something developed by the U.S. Navy after the attack on the USS Cole. It emits an rooms to smithereens. ear-splitting noise in a narrow, directional beam that can The crew of the cruise ship was apparently somewhat prepared for the event, this being the 23rd pirate attack be pointed at small boats approaching ships. The pain is off the Somali coast this year. They had a "sonic device" enough to cause the crew of the small boat to turn back on board to drive the attackers away. The captain aJso - or wear earplugs. The modern pirate has traded the* managed to turn the cruise ship sharply enough to create parrot on his shoulder for Bose Noise, Canceling rough water for the pirates, and ultimately was able to Headphones, which are available in the gift,shop aboard out run them. the Seabourn Spirit. Passengers and crew There is a local arrived safely at another angle to the story. • • / had to do a little research on the port, where their vacaThere was a couple "sonic device" the news reports said was from Salt Lake on tion was abruptly terminated. used to repulse the attack. At first, I just board the Seabourn Spirit. They did not It's hard to imagine the cruise ship industry assumed that Kathy Lee Gifford had ' enjoy the experience, and .probably won't go getting worse press. resumed her singing career." back. But there is a silThere are regular ver lining to everyreports of whole ships • • ^ ^ • • • ^ • M ^ ^ H ^ ^ H ^ a i ^ thing. The Utah Travel being overcome with gastro-intestinal illness called the Norwalk virus. If that Office, which has been trying to come up with a new sloisnt bad enough, there are lots of cranky old people on gan for Utah travel, may have stumbled on to something board, and fears of terrorist strikes at what are essential- here. Their new slogan is "Utah: We Don't Have Pirates Here." ly undefended floating hotels. And now pirates. In other news, there have been some strange goingsWhat interests me in a story like this is the stuff that doesn't get reported. The reported facts are troubling on in my neighborhood. There is a new house under conenough, but I keep wondering about the back story. First struction, and that has generated a lot of traffic on a off, what kind of person signs on to a vacation cruise in street that otherwise doesnt have. any. There have been Somalia? If possible, Somalia is even worse than Haiti. If a lot of different people in and out at odd times of day. the world was going in for a high colonic, Somalia would The other night a Cadillac Escalade, one of those highbe ground zero. Who vacations in Somalia? Some of the end SUVs favored by rappers and other criminals, came passengers actually paid retail for this dream vacation down the lane late at night. The rear bumper was nearly cruise. But I have to assume that the majority of the pas- dragging on the ground. The driver got out, burdened by sengers had won the cruise as a "gift" for listening to a so many gold chains that he could hardly stand. Within timeshare sales presentation. People who bought the seconds, there was a swarm of people around him, tradtimeshare got the Mediterranean cruise. People who sat ing cash for bags of some kind of powder. I was pretty through the sales pitch and didn't buy got the bargain- suspicious of that, and walked down to investigate. priced Somalia route. It turns out he had some black market cement. Next up, while enjoying your cruise through waters Apparently cement is in such short supply that it is being both the UN and the U.S. State Department had warned rationed, and projects ranging from my neighbor's founagainst because of uncontrolled pirate attacks, I'm won- dation to the new parking garage in Swede Alley are dering about the whole security situation. So you've got falling off schedule because you cant get cement. When Captain Stubing from the Love Boat in charge, and somebody gets a load of cement from someplace, there when the going gets rough, and the pirates are climbing is a feeding frenzy of people wanting to mix concrete. up the ropes to board the ship, what do you do? Well, The street price of cement is out of control. "Cement, the rest assured that your protection comes first on aboard other white powder." the Seabourn Spirit (owned by Seaboum Cruise Line, a Tom Clyde is a former city attorney and author of subsidiary of Carnival). When the pirates are storming "More on Main Street "He has been a columnist the deck. Cruise Director Julie and the indomitable for TheDogs Park Record for 19 years. ince there is nothing of interest happening locally, we will tum to international ne\vs this week. I was S intrigued by the frightening news of the cruise ship SUNDAY IN THE PARK By Teri Orr A Chef's Dream Home **• Staying en pointe • . • . 4 *B^ r-^^ •»i.' 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Like a Jackson Pollack painting I once struggled to / x n e s s of the arts, is an opportunity toorichto pass understand and never did. So on some level, the art was up. Especially when they offer to sponsor me. For the effective because it caused me to examine my own values second year in a row, I went up north to experience some and have one of thqse inner break-out sessions where I of the brightest minds on the continent share how they had to look at the root of what performance and all art, do what they do. I was re-energizedtotry to make what for that matter, should do. We had spent the week talking about that with the top we do here, something of value. That had been, after all, the title of the conference, "Culture Counts - Measuring arts consultants from the United States and Canada. Government officials, funders, agents, and nationallythe Value of the Arts." It was the most tightly scheduled week of my life. The syndicated newspaper columnists were all part of the dia100-plus delegates from all over Canada and me, started logue/debate. And so, like the British-influenced each day at breakfast meetings with speakers, followed by Canadians, when the actual debate took place, the modworkshops and break-out groups and then lunches with erator introduced all the panelists and then encouraged more speakers, followed by more workshops, then dinner them to "stay firm" as they began debating. with speakers, then showcases thrown in, where over the We talked a great deal about the old indicators of succourse of five days, we witnessed 18"different acts we cess in the arts. How vogue it was just,a few years ago to might want to consider use economic multiples booking. Think of high to justify what we did. school and the three 'No, Father/ Jim replied, 'the prob- You know, where you minutes you have the $20 you spend lem of our measuring success is more like say between classes and you with us is really more get the idea... this... Out of your parishioners who have like two million when patrons then go Just by happenstance, recently passed on, how many of them went those out to dinner and spend we have booked an to heaven?'" the night in a hotel and average of three Canadian acts a year for shop on Main Street and then maybe buy, I the past couple of years ^^•^•^^^•^^^••i^™ •"•^^^•"^^^"^^^^ don't know, a condo at The Eccles Center. I didn't set out with any plan to do this. We just look for before they leave town. One presenter said his councilexciting performers and it turns out, our neighbors to the man had told him during just that kind of explanation, north are immensely talented. All of our Cirque acts "Consider then I just gave you a $100 million, cause that's have come from Canada and why not, they invented the what you can do, with the $1,000 we're prepared to give modern form of circus, music and dance. A number of you." We all laughed a bit too loud at that story. We talked about the trend to say the arts increase stuchildreri's shows have originated there because they have such a high level of performance value and don't pander dents' ability to learn, and the recently released RAND to children but create programming that appeals to the study does prove just that. But as one guy said, no kid ever signed up for high school band because he thought whole family. This year, the first night of showcases were acts I it would increase his spatial learning capacity. Sometimes wouldn't book. A hip hop/klezmer musical group, which we had to just admit the obvious, the arts feel good. They I think would appeal to a rather iiiche audience. Ditto the transcend us and cause us to see and hear in ways we didfolk singer who had a beautiful voice but sang all in Inuit, n't know before. But how do you measure that? Tim, a presenter from St. John, said he had been havor more accurately, Nunavik, and who was hot off her ing this very discussion with his friend, who is a priest, recent tour of Greenland. The final piece of the evening was an athletic, energetic, famed dance company who right before he left to attend this conference. He explained it was about measuring the value of the arts. received a standing ovation at the work's end. The priest replied that shouldn't be hard... after all, Tim I love smart, modern dance. Edgy stuff like we have presented such as MOMIX, Pilpbolous, Aspen Santa Fe, presented first-rate performing arts, in a great facility,, Bruce Wood. Great groups, high energy. My new friends with many sold-out shows. "No, Father," Tim replied, wondered if I'd been shocked by the company. There was "the problem of our measuring success is more like this... nudity and much sexual content. And I admitted I was Out of your parishioners who have recently passed on, shocked. Not by the content of the work but by the how many of them went to heaven?" And therein Jies anorexia of the dancers. From my seat in the balcony I the rub. Sometimes you can work hard, do good and could count the ribs on both male and female perform- spend money wisely and still not know if you have actuers. Their contortions looked more like performers from ally succeeded. I left Canada, once again,filledwith new ways of seea Chinese circus than celebrating the human form. It was downright disturbing. Once I voiced this, I found both ing old problems. With new friends and re-connecting men and women in my group agreed. They said they with old ones. And I left remembering the power the arts have to vibrate with us long after the experience of seewouldn't bring such a group into their community. Later in the week there were tremendous jazz singers, ing them. I know I'm still haunted by those anorexic storyteller/songwriters, inventive children^ dance and dancers and I wonder about a culture that values that as the funniest comedian I have seen in years. There was a art. We have to be cnreful what we curate, the arts are dance company of tribal work where after the showcase, that powerful in their ability to influence us. And all that the choreographer discussed the piece in terms of quan- is important to remember any day but certainly on my tum physics. I will have plenty of choices to share with my return home this Sunday in the Park... board when we gather to select shows next spring. Ten Orr is a former editor of The Park Record and But I thought about that first dance company all week director of the Park City Performing Arts Center. |