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Show 1 I1 I i 5. Page A10 Thursday, February 25, 1988 Park Record Wlnadldl9ysa FRIENDLY FAMILY FEELING Jot" ill CiimaDw I: 1 J BY RICK BROUGII Enquirer sweeps UGNA awards As you can see, elsewhere in the paper, the Park Record is celebrating after winning several awards at the Utah Press Association (UPA) yearly convention. In all the excitement, no one noticed that another famous press group gave out its awards over the weekend. These honors are for the supermarket magazines one sees every week in the express line The Midnight Star, the Globe, the Examiner. The association, which met last weekend at the Stateline Casino in Wendover, is called the United Grocery News Association (UGNA). As usual, the lion's share of the UGNA awards were won by my favorite, the National Enquirer. Besides garnering the General Excellence award, the Enquirer also won in the following categories: Most Outlandish Romantic Pair Discovered by the reporters: Justine Bateman and the late Sir Ralph Richardson. "It's true love!" says a close friend of the deceased Shakespearean actor. "I never saw him react to anyone like this when he was alive. Justine's managed to break through that cool British reserve of his." Another friend, though, is skeptical the affair will last. "Sir Ralph basically likes to stay at home, while Justine wants to go out and party." Best story of real life peril: "I was surrounded by Man-Eating Presidential Candidates During the New Hampshire Primary." Said farmer Elmer Lathrop of Dixon Hollow, "They circled closer and closer as I prayed, 'God, please help me! I don't want to die like this!" Most Startling Scientific Discovery: "Oprah Winfrey Causes Cancer." That news from Dr. L. Brantham Fossey of the Donahue College of Pharmacology. "It's pretty clear. I mean, I'm sure there's maybe a good chance this could be right. " The Honest Horoscope Award: "For Aries: There will be no significant decisions for you this week, not in your job, not in your romantic life, not in your finances. Your life will follow the same monotonous path it always has, day after day, week after week, month after monthchiefly mon-thchiefly because you clowns born under Aries are passive individuals who do nothing to improve your lives. The only comfort is you're at least not prone to the severe emotional disturbances of Pisces." Best Celebrity Look-Alike: Cleroy Armistead, of New Swapsted, Maine, bears an amazing resemblance to Michael Jackson. Best Celebrity Expose: Michael Jackson Consorts with Alien from Space. "We have photos of Michael entering an alien spacecraft. Ironclad evidence of his extra-terrestrial origins," said the reporters. Most Creative Self-Help Ad: "Make Your Body Lint Work for You! Create sweaters, carpets and tablecloths from this readily accessible material! You just need to learn how! Send $38.95 for booklet, instructional video cassettes and three free hairballs to get you started." Best Celebrity Interview: "Johnny Cash says, 'I was voice for Mr. Ed.'" Best Occult Story: An Enquirer investigative series looks at the strange series of mishaps that have plagued tlw "Friday the 13th" series. Each movie in the series has been mysteriously struck down by awful direction, abysmal writing and atrocious acting," says our writer. "It's uncanny." Best Cute Animal Photo: Sparky, a lovable pit bull, slups playfully at an ice cream cone while his owner Bobby Burdwell gleefully licks other side. Best Action Photo: Sparky, a vicious pit bull leaps at Enquirer photographer whose flashbulb startled the animal. Best Sentimental Story: Brothers Gary and Larry Flamboy are reunited after 63 years. Upon reminiscing, however, the two siblings remember why they haven't spoken to each other for so long. "You stole my girl!" cries Gary. "You ran our business into the ground!" replies Larry. The two brothers strangle each other with dental floss, a sad outcome which, however, also wins the Enquirer Best True Crime Story Award. Strangest New Disease: Timmy Croakus, 11, has been burping non-stop since age 7. "You think that's disgusting, you should see the problem my twin brother, Tommy, has ! " says Timmy. Best Gossip Stories on Royal Couple: "Princess Di gets food caught in her teeth." A special telescopic lens shows the story. Also: "Prince Charles to Appear on 'Miami Vice' as Cocaine Peddler." When asked about the propriety of casting the future king in such a role, the producer replies, "Of course he's got to play a drug dealer. Every guest star of the show plays a drug dealer." Most Startling True Psychic Prediction: As the Calgary Olympics opened, psychic April Astral (who successfully predicted that Jimmy Carter would develop wrinkles) forecast that a mishap would befall a member of the U.S. Ski Team. Amazing but true! Soon after, Pam Fletcher was injured, in-jured, colliding with a National Enquirer stringer, disguised as a course worker, who ran out to ask her about the startling prediction. Best Freak Story: Bluto Carswell, of Potholl, Kansas is so hairy his body produces three pounds of lint a day. "I don't mind," said Carswell. "Wanna buy a sweater?" 4u3Ik(B sq VceSun BY TERI GOMES Different papers, same problems It was a pressman's holiday you might say. A couple of days in St. George in the southern Utah sun talking with other newspaper folks about the ink and the sweat stains involved in putting out a weekly paper. Nine years ago I attended my first and only other Utah Press Association function an awards dinner. The then publisher of the Park Record Dick Buys, the editor Max Jarman and newsman David Fleisher were all there to receive the general excellence award for the paper along with numerous individual awards. I remember how proud they all were, and while I thought it all very nice, after being with the paper for just a few months, I had no idea of the significance of the awards. Nor did I understand nine years ago the great sense of history and tradition of those gathered in the room. This year all of that was different. After writing this column for nine years next month under three different publishers and as many different editors, I understand all too well the changing face of journalism, the continued con-tinued lack of monetary rewards for your work, and how nice it is to be recognized by your peers with a framed certificate that says "you done good." I also feel proud to be a tiny part in what I have since learned is Utah's oldest trade organization, a group which began even before Utah gained statehood. And in a profession where Rupert Murdoch buy-outs seem to be the growing norm, it was reassuring to see the majority of the weekly papers in the state are still family affairs, where daughters, equally as often as sons, can be expected ex-pected to take over the family business one day. As the circulation of the Park Record has grown, so has the level of competition grown for the paper. Now a group III paper, we compete with the largest weekly circulation cir-culation papers in the state, including such powerful publishers and competitors as the Intermountain Catholic, circulation, 13,000. It was a nice surprise to meet three of the four women who make up the staff of that paper this weekend and share miseries (and a few minis) about being women in a traditionally male field. And if I think it's tough here I can at least console myself in knowing my publisher isn't also the bishop of a church where women have always been treated as lesser than men. At Friday's lunch, Governor Bangerter flew down to address the group and had a little fun with the often predictable nature of some news organizations. He said if the world ended, the headlines the next day in, say, a liberal paper like the New York Times would read, "World Ends-Third World Countries Fare Worst." The same news he said in U.S.A. Today might read, "World Ends for final final sports scores see page seven." And a Utah headline, he said would say, "World Ends Bangerter to blame." Alright, so he caught us. Diffferent papers do have different dif-ferent styles... In other discoveries of the weekend I think that perhaps Sam Taylor, publisher of the Moab Times-Independent, Times-Independent, may have been spouting Mylesisms before there was a Myles. Mylesisms, for those of you not exposed ex-posed to Park City Planning Director Myles Rademan on a regular basis, include such homilies as "sometimes it's hard to see the frame when you're in the picture." Kind of restated truisms. In a panel discussion on the need to revitalize rural Utah, Sam said he felt the greatest problem was at-titudinal: at-titudinal: "We call it the drowning man syndrome," Sam said. "That means you stand on your neighbors' head in the water to keep yourself from drowning." The weekend was productive and rewarding, and it strikes a vein with me it was also therapeutic. One of the greatest problems in this business is the sense of isolation isola-tion you feel along with the added sense that nobody quite understands what it is you do for a living. Even if it was just for a weekend, it helps to know that Utah's oldest trade association has been at this game for a long time and they have supported one another, praised and even condemned one another, but more than any other single thing, they understand one another. Check Out Our Check-In For the Visible Difference First impressions last longest, which is why we built the Snowed Inn at the entrance to Park City. We are the first property management company with a check-in office that visitors can actually find . . . long before they get lost. Inside our beautiful Victorian jjj office building, guests receive good old-fashioned service, clear directions to your property, and a reservation if they don't already have one. Our attention to service is the key to maximizing rentals in your condominium. If increased revenues are . important to you, please contact us. And discover for yourself the visible difference. Park City Resort Lodging Toll Free: 800-545-SNOW In Utah: 649-6368 Property managers for homes, condominiums and developments in Park City, Deer Valley and ParkWest. ' 47711 N. Hiuhuau 774 IThn Snnucui Inn :il lha nnlnn-a In Dirk itu. D-irL il I lh lunCn 1 'ii!' ' l I. Si TV -T. 1 : ,U - i JK -J 3 A New construction in McCloud Creek adjacent to Park Meadows Completion by Easter, buy now and have it finished to your own taste. 5 bedrooms, family room, master bedroom fireplace Located on a cul-de-sac $197,500 RACQUET CLUB CONDOS Three bedroom units, fully furnished, gas heat. All units are located between the Park City Racquet Club and the Park Meadows Golf Course. Some sit right on the golf course with good rental history. Others are privately cared for and have never been rented. Priced under $90,000. Contact Jim Lea 649-7171 Coleman L.LYJ) & IXWSTMEXT Real Estate Services D3 614 Main St., Box 1800, Park City, Ut. 84060 649:7171 1L Our Best Friends Are Cutting Us to Pieces. u onNrwTi ihr CttVTWf ' mm si i,mm i-.-4 I- r '.-r.T-: aujw, gif.f Our best friends don't always give lis the best treatment. Typically, they invite us into their homes, read us like a book, take what they need from us, and put us aside to use again at their convenience. It's a tough existence, but we don't mind. In fact, we like it. The news, editorials, and advertising coupons clipped from our pages provide our readers with knowledge, enlightenment, even an occasional 30 (f off on breakfast cereal. We're kind of flattered that people enjoy hanging onto bits and pieces of us-sometimes for years. That's something no other local advertising medium can offer. So, although our friends keep cutting us to pieces, we'll keep showing up at their homes. Our only request: sharp scissors and a steady hand. Ill IPairk MbM The Park Record, published continuously since 1880 1670 Bonanza Drive 649-9014 "O -7 i i.v viiiibi ivt iu , air J, I air ,it j wibm v-tvw 5 |