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Show W 0 M AN 'S 00 GOOD MANNERS. BY BLANCHE JJEIiCinVOOD, - neg-loctf- ul . naii-civiiize- a H T 1 . A hindrance to politeness, because. jti& first law of politeness is to be agreeable to everybody even at the expense of one'a .own " comfort. V' arbitrary rules which ' "Society has some continually restrict them in thoir actions, in telling them how they .must eat, and drink, and dress, and walk, and talk and so on,all tending to one cnd,the, preservation of harmony, and the prevention of one person from usurping tho rights of anotherj If these laws regulato the tone ot your speech, and- prbhounce you vulgar if you talk in a loud voice, it is because people have nerve3 and. sensibilities which, arc grated upon by harsh tones. High moral characters, a polished education, a perfect command of tempor, delicate " - '. u. guuu . DUUituy These constitute" good breeding, and pro. duco ers. Wit, accomplish-ments- , and social talents are great advan' good-mann- tages, though not absolutely necessary. On the other hand birth is often lost sight or: dlstinctionso wV?Uhank being desirable, must bo ftD far carefulley . where as all insolences show 'such a lack of conscience as regards the rights of others, such a lack of training as to the binding obligations of the well-bre- d, that it proclaims unmistakeably the imperfect culture and real vulgarity that is endeavoring to" masquerade as elegance. No one Is entitled to respect who fails in respect towards others. Let those who meet with rudene33 tako no notice of it. Above all, do nothing from revenge; and they will bo able to console themselves; withTthjeltRought of their own superiority. of all Certainly the well-breothers, should be able to bear slights and rudenesses with fortitude. By so doing, " they give testimony to the value of early training, evidence their own supirority and set an example that will not be lost upon those who are witnesses. The sham aristocracy indulge in mushroom-- d, But true aristocracy indulge their admiration for genius, talent, courage, perseverance and all heroic qualities but they never bow before titles simp -manners. ;ly because of their titles." Politeness does not mean friendship not in the least, courtesy is the rule of good society and people who have antipathies to each other may meet on the neutral ground of a friend's house with the utmost courtecy. Your host's friends are yours for the 'time being. One thing which should bo considered in the cultivation of manners is time. Hurry and bustle are antagonistic to grace and ease of manner. There is a great deal of hurry hubbub and jostling in this day and ago which is a hlndranco.to "fine manners." A writer on this subject of politeness says The sense of his own superiority, in which young America indulges, is apt to cause hirn to look down with lofty contempt on those ideas of courtesy and good breding which our fathers bequeathed to us." old-fashion- it imposes upon Its members and which of 0 handled not to be positively objectionable. The best defiuitioiruvor. given of gooiL society is; the meeting on a footing of "cqrnlr? frn for fho jcjrpoo of ?nuf iri! ieriainmunl, of ma a or women,, or vi men and women together, of good character, good education and good breeding. , A feel ing of perfect equality is necessary to tho ease of society; and so well is this exemplified in well-bre- d circles abroad, that men belonging to tho old nbbiiity,posscssing the advantages of generation3 of transmitted culture, will as a rule, bo found to bo more affable and more genial than are the sons of tho newly made aristoracy. It is only tho ncur people, here and there, vvhoare climb- ing up into notice, who are pretentious, and fancy they can make themselves of importance, by being rude or insolent, - In writing upon this subject a vast field opens Itself to view, but- liko the traveler who sees so much he would like to gather up in his travels, hut reflects ho will bo overladen and hindercd,for here is a beautiful valley to bo explored, or yonder is a waterfalf; or eomo choico plants, or precious minerals ho would like to havo for his friends, yet he is aware that ho must not atop Tor every thing hfs eyo meets, but only.,, try to "take in " all the best points on his , route, so ir is with mo I wish to speak of many things but find it will bo impossible to do so unless my chapters wero much Ion ger and eye nth en I d o u b t vvhe the r i t would be as well as lo mako short chapters. We hear people talk a good deal about a higher moral education,and with this there must certainly bo mingled moro politeness, moro courtesy towards one another,' men and women would be, more deferential to each other if they were more tender and forgiving. Our tranquility, cur peace of mind, our happiness depends even more perhaps upon small things thau upon great; we all feel thlsat times and yet Wo are of doing our part. It would ".be better for us all if.. more attention were paid to tho little details and rlwlol nhsorvfltippa vhfrh rl ivtincrn uh nations from the barbarous or enlightened t i we ana yei in many iniugs are more or less boorish and rude, without tne excuse for neglect of these matters that tho really ignorant have; for wejknow these things and do them not. It is want of attention and not lack of knowledge or ability often that makes us negligent of our social duties. To those who feel deeply the need of an improvement in manners, and in our bearing towards one another, and particular, ly at home, for there is where it must begin, it would be well to keep in rainu the precept of Seneca, which translated is, "Speaking to others, what you dictate here; and learn yourself while teaching you appear." Those who have occasion to speak and write upon 'this subject may do it in a spirit and feeling that will be benlfieial to themselves as well as others who may read or hear and this should be considered, that we are all children comparatively, all desirous of attaining to something higher and better. Selfishness is said.by some to lie at the root of all sin, and certainly selfishness is a great I f EXPONENT. ed READING. If I could, I would enumerate the advan- tages arising from reading; however, as I am fully conscious I have not the ability to do justice to a subject so extensive in itself, and so profuse in its bearing, I will not attempt to define, or delineate, but will give you a few of my own ideas relative to this branch of education. By reading wo learn to know ourselves more thoroughly, which Is ono of the most important attainments; we can judge of our ideas, our capacities and our actions, by comparing them with those of others whose lives are portrayed to us by tho writer; wo can' become acquainted (almost familiarly so) with the character and lives of the great men and women of the past ages, with tho " reputation they sustained among their also with tho events which were then transpiring, and the parts which they performed in the transactioria of the day' and age in which they lived; in what way and manner, and by w hat means they ro30 to eminenco abovo their fellow-laborer- s in tho same cause, so as to forever immortalize their names; and if noblo and laudable, we may strive to emulate those excellent qualities which we so much admire In them, and which have been record, f d for tho benefit of future generations; or if, on the contrary, through any lack of knowledge, wisdom, or oxrerienco they have failed to win the latrrel for which they were oxerting their greatest energies, force and skill, let us fehun the Weakness, vice or error into which they were (perhaps unwittingly) led, and which we commiserate in those who might otherwise have been celebrated as heroes of their time. By reading we enlarge the circle of our thoughts; wo continually improve our conversation and the versatility of our language; we enrich and expand our minds, and all our ideas of cultivation and refine, ment, become broader and more extended. Wo also become conversant with the different topics of the day, and make ourselves familiar with the events transpiring under our own immediate notice' or in the vicinity in which we live, and in the circle of which wo form a part. Thus we live, not only in the past, but more effectually and to a better purpose in the present; and we draw therefrom our own inferences and conclu sions, form our own opinions, and more gracefully harmonize our theories and practices, with those of our cotemporaries, and thus are better enabled to mark cut oar own course of thought, or action, and distinguish ourselves in thu mirsuit of tlm object we wish to achieve. Tiien agkln, we become acquainted vi th the manners, habits, customs, &e.t of other nations, of which we wouliiy perhaps, have remained almost wholly in ignorance1; of the different varieties of government, religion and amusements, practised among them; and through these sources of information our minds are expanded, our views of human nature enlarged, and our feelings of benevolence for mankind in general better developed. Reading opens up a field of instruction to which there is no limit, and I am wholly lost in tho contemplation of the innumerable l'r.ifiti meat if- oflf1a tr tlio nettva mind' it is one of the most delightful of .solitary or social entertainments; it enriches tho springs of thought, and helps us to procure a fund of information which we may apply for onr benefit in any and every emergency. Poetry is tho very essence of reading, inasmuch as it seasons every other kind; it lends an infinite charm which harmonizes with the most lofty and beautiful sentiments of the soul. Every person (in my humblo opinion) should intermingle poetry with their reading; It blends in so perfectly with that which is more solid, material and practical, and very perceptibly purifies the gros3er elements of the mind. I have merely touched upon one or two items connected with this illimitable subject; and I would sincerely beg to bo judged mercifully, as I; have neither genius nor ability to recommend me to your notice - CusT6M.ERWhat did you think of the bishop's sermon on Sunday, Mr. Wigsby?" Hairdresser Well, really, sir, there was a gent a sittin' in front o me as 'ad his 'air parted that crooked that I couldn't 'ear a word!" New York Graphic. |