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Show Page Four WEBER HERALD Students! Utah National Banli Pays 4 Percent on Savings Please do not do anything about your Fall Suits until you see us With the Nuts Educate yourself to using good Tires and Tubes. This will save you time, money and trouble. We recommend that you try Racine Country Road and Multi-mile Cord Tires. They are absolutely a quality Tire and cost no more than other tires more cheaply made. J. G. Read & Bros. Co. Factory Distributors YOU- Patronize Our Advertizers EASY TO FILL You can easily (urn a forty-quart can of milk into (lie new Sharpies Suction-feed Separator This remarkable machine will skim as clean at 35 turns of the crank a minute as at 55 turns. Any other separator would loose a great deal of cream with such varied speed. THE NEW SHARPLES SUCTION-FEED Separator will soon pay for itself in cream capacity and reduce the time by turning the cream is always of the exact thickness detired. Come in and let ua show you the new machine A. L. Brewer Dairy Supply Co. Living beyond one's means is the surest way to an automobile. No matter how high the cost of living may go, writing paper will always remain stationery. Rumor has it that the girls' skirts are to be tighter, but even at that they can't kick. You can always tell a senior, but you can't tell him much. Bill Brown "I want reform; I want scholastic reform; I want student body reform; I want " Voice "Chloroform." To tell a girl she is worth her weight in gold should not necessarily induce her to get fat. There was once a romantic baboon Who used to dope thus at the moon: "If it's made of green cheese 'Twould be good for the fleas. Mow I wish that I had a balloon!" saved, faster. You can increase the But turned fast or slow You can drive a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead. If beauty is only skin deep, why not skin a few of vis. She Do you want to start the Vic-trola?He Why? She It's about time you started something! Williams Purple Cow. Madge: So you think it isn't just a flirtation. Marjorie: I'm sure of it. They didn't even get out of the hammock when the dinner bell rang. Hopeful "You say Mr. Jagsby is an optimist?" "Yes." "Why?" "He still keeps a corkscrew in his desk." Jack "Do you love your teacher?" Cliff "I tried it once, but she got mad." The whirr-r-r of the alarm clock is an eye-opener. All is fair in love except the actions of the other fellow. Look at the mirror through the large end of a pair of opera glasses if you would 'see yourself as others see you. Some r.'arried men talk in their sleep because it is the Only opportunity they have. Two heads may be better than one but not in the same family. Our worthy postman has purchased an auto in which he carries the mails on week days and the females on Sunday. Said a man with the gout, "This pain is something awful, but I can't kick." "She asked her husband if she could take $50 from his box and he gave her assent." "The mean thing!" A dime in time saves about everything.A talkative barber is bound to make cutting remarks. Everybody thinks that nobody else is well balanced, and he's right. Nothing makes a woman so mad as to have something to say and no one to listen. It's all right to be optimistic, but a man should not whistle while lighting his last match. Don't believe all the good things you hear about yourself. Babies are queer institutions. They never seem satisfied with what they have and yet they don't want much. FOR. vSHOE Ozark Foresight. Judge Pete Bentz, who lives up on Bear Track Fork, is h iving an extra roof put on his house. He says there's no telling when some careless airplane man will be dropping a monkey wrench just as he goes over his premises a mile or two up in the sky. Explained. "How do you do it, son? You sleep in that class every day." "The prof is a retired minister and doesn't mind it." Penn State Froth. The Butcher's Hint. I want a piece of meat without any bone, fat or gristle." "Yc'd better buy an egg, mum." He Owns Up. "Where are you going, son?" "Going to call on a party down the street." "I don't like the use of that word 'party.' If you arc going to see a gentleman, say so." "Well, dad, I'm going to see a girl." Uneasy rests the aching tooth that that wears a crown. Man may be made of dust, but he doesn't always settle. Tell a child that it is good, a man that he is great, a woman that she is beautiful, and they will all applaud your judgment. It is easier for a needle to go through the eye of a. camel than1 it is for a woman tq pass through a room without glancing in the mirror. The reason the cost of living is so high these days is because our funds are so low. A good many persons do not go wrong because it would be inconvenient to go wrong. The only kind of lie that is likely to be believed by a wife is a compliment, and it's certain to be. If a man is going to be a liar lie might as well get more than a local reputation. About the time a man is old enough to know better he's so old that it does not matter whether he does better or not. Generally speaking an after the war garden looks as if it had been through one. Before a girl marries, she prays that she may make him a good wife, and after marriage she asks the Lord to make him a better husband. It doesn't do any good to hurry unless you have something to" do when you get there. Prosperity is better measured in motor trucks than automobiles. Sunsets in literature are like babies they are only appreciated by their authors. FROM $7.50 to $12.50 A PAIR Clara's 2358 Washington Avenue Poetic Thought Wasted. He failed in Latin, he flunked in Chem; They heard him softly hiss: "I'd like to find the fellow who said That ignorance is bliss." Abstraction. "Jack, when you kissed me, didn't you know that I said something?" "Gwan, I'm no lip reader." Penn State Froth. With All Her Faults, I Love Her Still. Speaker Thank God, the country has gone dry. It will bring sunshine to many a home. Skeptic Yes, and moonshine, too, brother! Michigan Gargoyle. Much Fuel Required. A wife is like an aeroplane She costs a lot of cash, And if you lose control of her, There's bound to be a crash. "He hasn't given me one since we vere married." JOHN J, SCHWARTZ Groceries and Notions School supplies, candy, fruits 2234 Jefferson Avenue PHONE 1145-w J. S. LEWIS CO. JEWLERS Class 'Pins Class Rings Continuous Business since 1 849 When you buy... "EATS" Trade at a Real Store that sells real Meats at real Good Prices. WHERE? RUSSELL-JAMES CO. Corner 24th and Lincoln DELIVERIES Twice a Day Come To Wright's Soda Fountain Quick Lunches Home-made Ice Cream . FRANK SOGOUNER, M8r. INDIAN AGENCY MOTOCYCLES AND BICYCLE REPAIRING INDIAN MOTOCYCLES INDIAN BICYCLES PIERCE BICYCLES AND ACCESSORIES 2576 Wash. Ave. Ogden Phone 337 B. F. THOMAS PRINTER 247G Was. Ave. Fhone 147j |