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Show Thursday, August 6, 1959 ANYTHING GOES This is the story of Hard Luck Harry, the guy that couldnt do anything right No matter how small or large the job was you could always bet that Harry would louse it up. Everything, but everything always turned out wrong. During the Second World War Harry got to be a flyer in the Navy. How he got to be a flyer remains a mystery, because whatever he did always turned out to be a large fiasco. Whenever hed take off from a carrier he invariably ended up in the ocean and had to be fished out. When hed land on the carrier he was always knocking down a sailor or two, or running in the side of the superstructure. But then one day something wonderful happened. He was alone on a scouting mission when he spotted a large Japanese aircraft carrier. He flew over and released two bombs. They found their mark and blew the carrier into small pieces. Harry was beside himself with joy. For once in his life he did something right. For this he would be a hero. On the way back to his own ship, sigs Zeros attacked him. But Harry was sitting on top of the world and he picked them off one by one. A phenomenal feat for any pilot but for Harry, it was fantastic. Never is his wildest did he ever think anything like this would ever happen to him. He landed on the carrier without a hitch and ran to the phone. Give me the Admiral, please, he said. Hello, Admiral? Youll never believe this, but on the way back from the mission, I spotted a Japanese aircraft carrier. I put a bomb in each smoke stack and it went to the bottom of the ocean like a rock. And listen, to this; six Zeros attacked me and I blew every one of them out of the sky. And never a scratch on me. What do you think of that? On the other end of the phone a voice said Ah, so!, in a very decided Japanese accent. day-drea- Talking about hard luck guys, this story concerns a guy that was in the same class as old Harry. It seems that this joker bought himself a new Thunderbird. The salesman suggested that he be checked out in it, but our friend insisted that he knew how to drive it. He wouldnt even let the RAG DRIVE MAGIC Re-Weavi- Service ng and Mending Service Damaged Knit Garments Repaired Knit Skirts Shortened Complete Ness Building - 28 W. 2nd South Page 3 THE VALLEY VIEW NEWS EMpire Room 203 r at,. . GRANGER AUTO SUPPLY, Inc. service manager show him the basic fundamentals of driving the car. Off our friend went in his new happy as a kid with a new toy. About twenty minutes later the salesman received a phone call from the new owner of the Thunderbird. You better send a service manager right away, he said. But, you said you dndnt want one when we sold you the car. What happened? Well, Ill tell you what happened. When I drove away from your place of business, I had to stop for a red light. Right next to me was this little Corvette. I thought to myself, that this would be a good time to see how this old operates, so the I put it in D for Dig and when light turned green, we both took off. This Corvette ran away from me like I was standing still. At the next red light there was that little Corvette sitting next to me again. This time, I put the gear shift in L for Lunge, and when the light turned green away we went. But the Corvette pulled away from me again. Well, at the next red light, I was going to show this wise guy some real speed so I put it in R for Race and boy, do I need a service manager. T-Bir- T-Bi- rd And did you hear the one about the old Model T that was stalled at the side of the road when along came a sleek new Cadillac? The driver of the Cadillac stopped and offered to tow the Model T to the next town. Everything went along smoothly But for some reason, the driver of the Cadillac forgot he was towing the Model T and somewhat exceed the speed limit. A cop saw them and took chase. The driver of the Cadillac thinking he could outrun the cop really stepped on it and got the car to over a hundred miles per hour. . The cop raced to the nearest phone and called the police in the next town. Get a road block up in a hurry, he said. Theres a Cadillac coming your way and hes doing more than a hundred miles an hour. And this you wont believe, but theres a guy in a Model T right behind him blowing his horn trying to pass him! 9th to - August that is The yearly Rag Drive Ladies Kearns the sponsored by Civic Club will get off to a start August 9th and is scheduled to go through to the 22nd. Mrs. Mary Jane Healy, chairman for the drive has made an open request to the public to give only Parts and Accessories for all Cars d, " If We Don't Have It, We'll Get It" SERVICE IS OUR MOTTO 1 AM 22447 800 WEST 3500 SOUTH Undenominational Gospel Meetings EACH TUESDAY and THURSDAY at 8 p.m. at the KEARNS COMMUNITY CENTER The Public is Invited Come and Join Our ... BINGO PARTY at 8:15 p.m. at ST. FRANCIS PARISH HALL SATURDAY, Jack Pot -- $100.00 10th Game - $25.00 New Equipment 22nd clean rags and clothing, with the buttons, zippers and snaps removed. Silks and levis are not usSble, but cottons and woolens are preferred. The Kearns area has been divided into districts and the Girl Scouts will cover each area at assigned times. Mobil Service Station KEARNS, UTAH Under New Management LE DALE BAILEY welcomes His Friends (Old and New) Brimley TV Service All Makes, all Tubes Tested, Tuner and Glass Cleaned - Fast Service Honest Work - Guar. G. E. Tubes Calls Special $3.00 Phone CY 8-26- 00 Ray's Barber Shop North East Corner of Kearns Catering to Men, Women and Children Closed Mondays - Except Week Containing a Holiday HAVE DUMP TRUCK SERVICE means what CO-O- P to you ... your community No Job too Large or too Small 70 DISTINCTIVELY TRULY COMFORTABLE and patronage refunds, thus keeping more purchasing power on "Main Street." 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World-famoRadioear hearing z z understandable, comfortable, lifelike. The eyeglass hearing aid you can really hear with. Converts instantly for attractive wear 4 other ways: Ffishlon-rig- The TOP PRICE WE BUY EQUITIES We Have Rental Service For Your Every Insurance Need Call REED 1 All) us REED DAVIS hew "iSSSLS'Suu today. details at CO-O- P ' CREDIT UNION 71 finance your automotive and other needs ht lady Far the surprise af year Dfe In bearing, a gradocs and "Lady America lovely mother of two, and wife of prominent physician, tours the U.S. shows how Radioear's new hearing aids add to personal charm. tone In, write ar pboae ns MOV SALT LAKE HEARING CENTER JOHN ROUTH - Certified Counselor 204 Judge Bldg. Phone EM Salt Lake City -- 91 |
