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Show 'LAID IT ON TOO THICK. rBarsavcd Husband Thought Hia Wift Wai Too Highly Praiaed. The Maine papers are telling a story of a young minister who on hla first charge was called uiion to preach a funeral sermon over a woman. It was hla first funeral Bermon and he laid himself out to make an impression, and succeeded. The woman had had her faults, but the minister forgot them. This was to be expected, but he extolled her so highly that the poor bereaved husband, sitting there listening, couldn't recognize her by the description. Finally, in a glowing peroration he pictured God and the archangels and the angels and all the hosts of the redeemed Joyously forming a parade to welcome to Heaven this one of the very best of all women." The husband could stand It no longer, and, leaping up. Interrupted him with beckoning hand, gasping out: No, no, elder; not quite that! She was only bout middlin'." Good Story on "Bill Nye. Nate Salsbury and Bill" Nye were When the humorldl great friends. first engaged in newspaper work In this city, and took a house on Staten Island, the showman went to dinner with him. Nye exploded some new stories, and Salsbury, turning to bis hosts little girl, said: Very clever papa you've got, my dear. "Yes, responded the demure little miss, "when theres company." ONE OF THE GALLEONS OF SPAR. RICHARD GUNDRY, X NOTARY HHtmt L. H. f I 4 44 j Lain for Ocmiw X j Stockton. ! GRAY, ARKS, i I J. , X X t X X 4 MARY E. BROWN. General Merchandise, 4 4 4 4 3 44 4 I 4 4 ACROSS THE STREET FROM POSTOFFICE. Maai Street Stockton. 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 t To Chicago Inexpensively. Uoioo Pacific Wealthy Pittsburg Man Has a Fine Reproduction in His Yard of the Ancient Family House in Ireland. M. THOMAS, 4 4 4 4 4 it. The cow was mad. The manag4,444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444 ing editor of a newspaper, who was All travelers do not ride in the Pull 4 one of the party, made his escape by 4 man; many patronize the free reclining a window and the back way, and hasteconof or notions choice chair car from ened to town to consult a veterinary 4 4 surgeon. This gentleman consented omy. Such persons have abont aa pleas- 4 to go down to the farm for 10 down, 4 ant a journey aa those in the eleepera. 4 and his railroad fare. He arrived, 4 The Santa Fe runs comfortable chair cars 4 4 4 and the besieged man watched the 4 on its three Chicago trains, with a com4 4 The cow 4 pioceedings with interest. petent porter in charge. Complete toilet 4 had settled down, but still looked 4 4 auceaeoriee are provided. 4v wild. The vet approached. He look- X ed at the cow a few minutes and then 4 C. F. WARREN, General Aqent. 4 went into the house. Then he sized 4 4 4 SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH. 4 up the three men fur one moment 4 411 DOOLY ILOCK..aMa 4 and made the laconic remark, Milk 4 her. It had never occurred to the city men that cows had to be milked, and the animal had been with them three weeks without having been relieved, and was iKsequently in an unhappy state. Aud this famous first can of milk cost the trio 12. LIKE THE OLD HOME IN ERIN. - igd 6bici$o, ilwLQKee & M. Piul Ry. THROUGH LINE ATTORNEY AT LAW, The Union Pacific and Chicago, Milwaukee & St. Paul Sleepers, Tourist Railways are now running first-clas- s Sleepers and Free Reclining Chair Cars through to The finest replication of an Irish nier, says that he ran remember when house in America, says the Pittsburg Mb relatives, the Mellons, came down Lake Salt City $ SST&S Chronicle-Telegrapstands in the the slopes of the Laurel bill into the 4 yard of James R. Mellon, corner of beautiful Llgonier valley. The family North Ncgley and RIppey streets, East came near settliig at Eldemldge, End. It has been erected regardless where the father tad been negotiating of cost, and is an exact duplicate of for a farm, but tad decided to buy the ancestral home in Ireland, where near Turtle creek. Barrette, Pierce. Critchlow Thomas Mellon, now in his 90th When Jamea R. Mellon visited the 4 Judge 1813. in was born ATTORNEYS AT LAW. year, old home In Irelaid a couple of yeara 4 4 4 of stone, has small light ago he brought home with him the is built It X sot Loans Salt Lake Gty. X windows, is thatched, the annex cov- cornerstone of the old house, with the 4 MoComlck Bldg. 4 ered with Antwerp tile, the house is letters A. M. and 1790" carved covered with vining rosea and the upon it, and this stone now has a building la a veritable thing of beauty. place in the house he has built, just The home in Ireland stood near the over the old fashioned open fireplace. banka of Lough Foyle, at Camp Hill The andirons and some other relics Whittemare. Bicrer & Gberrington Cottage. Lower Caatleton, Pariah of are also from the old house in Ireland. It is a quaint light and it touches 4 Cuppaugh, County Tyrone. It was X ATTORNEYS AT LAW. chords to enter the East Mellons sentimental built by grandfather, Judge 4 4 U to father. End house through the ancient style the and by judges occupied 7 44 MoComlck DaltLAECLAty Bldg. Andrew Mellon, who came to America door, the upper half opening separate. . in 1818, landing at Baltimore with hia ly, to tread the stone floor, see the ii-- ! i 1. large family. It required three weeks spinning wheel in the corner of the to cross the mountains in a Conestoga room, the old time cupboard, chair and tables and crane in the wide open wagon to Greensburg. J. R. JARVIS. Squire Robert M. Graham, of Ligo- t For tickets, sleeping car reservations and Chicago. j farther information, apply to I I X , Salt Lake City. -- X erable extent the hear; planking has been torn ulT by the tidt-- which have 4 swept over ilu old hulk for many 4 4 A bice over ribs bare years, leaving 4 foot in diameter, shoving the vessel X inone. to have been a large Upon 4 vestigation of the phishing which re- 4 tbit in the whole 4 trained they fortnd 4 construction not a sincie piece of iron 4 or nails In ai:y form hal been used 44444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444 by the builders. ..Mott of the planks had been attached by means of wooden pins, and what u still more remarkable they found in several spikes of copper. With considerable difficulty they removed one or t wo the spikes and brought them back u the city. The spikes are about six inches long and ..DEALER IN... plainly forged out by hand. The wreck is a natter of much speculation among iaosc who have known of its exlitmce and there might be an interettlng tale in connection with it. The probabil Sties are that it is one of the deserted galleons of some old Spanish adventurer of ancient days, which vis sunk in the sands and had beea gradually worn away by the actioi of a century's GROCERIES, CANNED GOODS, ETC. tides. San Francisco Call. The playwright, Glen MacDonougb, rush at him and he was forced to a tells a good story on himself, apropos seek refuge In a tree. She held tha of his first attempt to try to lead a rest of the party prisoners for some rural life. He and two other friends time. It was In July, and a fearfully hired, some years ago, an old farm- Lot day. There was no doubt about Hi BidMlng. X Amateur Farmers Much Alarmed Over Antics of Animal Who Only Wanted to Be Milked. ! Seotb-Auarba- 444444444444444444444444 CAUSE OF COW'S STRANGE BEHAVIOR. house in New Jersey. They would go out every night one summer, doing all their own work about the house LAND AND MININQ ATTORNEY, 7 and living on viands which they had out from their clubs. After brought Salt Lake City. 2SC they had been in the country about three weeks It occurred to them that there was one thing necessary to comthe rural landscape. They had 4444444444 plete no cow. So they went to the nearest R. E. ROSS. town and purchased an animal that was warranted pure Jersey. The cow LAND AND MININQ ATTORNEY. jjj was installed on the front lawn and became so tame that she slept on the SffifiSK Salt Lake City. piazza and wandered about everywhere like a good club fellow. One I I morning in coming out of the house to catch the early train the three men were muc!I alarmed at the odd conduct of theyr new purchase. She was in a fierce .mood, bellowing and lashing her tail. As McDonough went DRNEY 4 toward the gate she made one wild ..I 44 Dismantled Hulk Which Has Evidently tiiona la the Pacific Ocean. Under the waters of San Diego bay, over by Point l.ouiu. Cal., in the vicinity of the quarantine station, lies the dismantled hulk of s mu' ancient galleon, which ha probably lain there for generations. As to how It got there and as to whether It belonged to Cabrillo or the fleet of some other explorer can le merely a matter of surmise, bur its construction indicates that it is of very ancieut date. It is said that the Portuguese fishermen have known of its whereabouts for a long time past, as they sail over the water all about tiiat section. It remained, howevii, for two young men, John Skewes and a companion, one day recently to bring in the first tangible proof of its existence. In some manner they learned of the whereabouts of the old vessel, and there being an exceptionally low tide they started out to Investigate it After some little difficulty they located a part of the bow of what seemed to have once been a large vessel of very ancient construction. As far as they could get out in the water they found some ten feet of the bow, and the rest probably lies beyond that in deep water. To a consid PUBLIC. Sheridan St. 44vM 4 Uyitny in J I 444444444444444444444444 . 4 4 4 1 . it ,I PUBLIC City Hail. Rercur. W1MMWIWWL s enioyablei JS5.Z. I HEALTHFUL! I Sanitarium S S THE SENSE OF HUMOR. Proof That It Is Not Confined to Sex, Age or Condition. UNIQUEI plied wiftlimek ( all tt tki fa SALT LAKE HOT SPRINGS D 1 HD DA TUC 52 . 3d South Salt Laks City Pin ate Bathing Rwil k Ska Wad erar on. nod Cmriig tar mm Halt a mUUmi IJ--4 watar of passes thiwnga loss tho pools oack day. S ann-gaa- 4 f Hat Sidplwf Bslhi In PwcsUla and Marti TuW, Private Plunga WW and Larga Swimming Pwli OCm fa OonWaa kaaltb sod Pjaasurs kjr whoa In Ball visiting thsas bathsand nlsha taka Opan day I 105 W, Second South St., Salt Lake Chicago j 1 CITY RECORDER A NOTARY Konto Collected. Houses Bought, etc. Commercial Agent General Passenger Agent I I m CLAUDE S. WILLIAMS, F. A. MILLER, The crude humor that makes the small boy want to throw a Btone at a silk hat on a man bristling with dignity is not to he disposed of as a mere prank of youth. most in la people a spring There deep Af unsubduable humor that leaps gleefully when conscious dignity gets a fair tumble. That ia why, for all the solemnity of the place, the soberest charity and the best bred propriety in the world could not prevent a titter at a little farce that happened in a church in Brooklyn. A gentleman asl his wife, who were offended at something the preacher said, gravely rose and b talked toward the door, with their heads held high in assertive disdain. The wife followed the husband. Unfortunately, when they were halfway down the aisle, the husband dropped hla glove and Btooped to pick it Fate, the humorist, determined up. that the wife should keep her bead so high that she did not see her husband stoop. She went sailing on and doubled over him in riotous confusion. The congregate n held its breath and kept its composure. The two recovered themselves aid went on. Hoping to escape quickly they turned to what looked like a aide door. The husband pulled it open vlth an Impressive swing. Before le could close it out tumbled the window pole and a long duster and a strp ladder. The congregation could hold its mirth no longer, and man and wife fled to the real exit in undignified haste, amid a general and persuasive snicker. - ---- he tT TO Glenwood Springs, Aspen, Leadville, Pneblo, Colorado Springs, Denver, Omaha, Kansas City, St. Louis, Chicago, and all points east Lino Connecting at Ogden Union Depot with all Southern Pacific and Oregon Short Tha only Transcontinental Lina passing directly through Sail Lika City. Trains. SPLENDIDLY EQL'irPKD FAST TRAINS Via Her Philosophy. Miss Pretty Teacher (soon to be married) Of coirse we're tired to death of teaching. I'm going to atop soon. Why don'i you? Miss Prim (wlo is always talking marriage but has no offers) I'd ilka to. Mias Pretty Teacher Why dont you, then? Youre not consistent Somethings the matter with yonr philosophy. Whit is it, anyway? Miss Prim Hint, principally. scenic line DAILY BETWEEN OGDEN AND DENVER Thru Separata and Dlatlnet Kratle Konlaa. Through Pullman and Ordinary Sleeping Cars to Denver, Omaha, Kansas City, St. Louis and Chicago without change. Free reclining chair cars. Personally Conducted Excursions. Dining Cars, service a la Carte on all through trains. For rata, folder, free Illustrated booklets, etc., Inquire of your a rent ticket went, specifying the Rio Grande route, or address L At BENTON, G, Ai P, D SALT LAKE CITY |