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Show UAe INDEPENDENT. D. O. JOHXSO", FabUabci. SPrUNGVILLE, UTAH 1 Tramps are scarce la Kansas. They are not looking for work. To hungry man, the best hall of a fried chicken is two-thirds of It At the present time most of the -war horses In the world are Missouri mules. At last the secret Is out. The Johnsons John-sons over here are the Vltchea of central cen-tral Europe. "Be truthful, be honest, and persevere," perse-vere," says Senator Piatt on his seventieth sev-entieth birthday. When the ice man wants more money he just takes it, without any preliminary negotiating. There is no war on the Bulgarian frontier, but the Turkish and Bulgarian Bul-garian troops are fighting. Crimes caused by jealousy " are almost al-most always inspired by a woipan who isn't fit to be jealous of. As yet no arrangements have been made for an exchange of visits between be-tween the mikado snd the czar. If a man could be a3 good as he intends to when he gets married what a happy time women would have. It is a mean woman who will ask her late returning husband to pronounce pro-nounce one of those Servian names. Again Santos-Dumont in his airship has circled the Eiffel tower without bumping into it. Now what will he fly at next? Anecdotes of children's smartness are a lot funnier when they are our own children than when they are our neighbors. It sems much more refined to lay a small wager than to gamble, but you can lose just as much one way as the other. It Is to be hoped that none of those didn't-know-it-was-loaded fools will get off -without a few years In the penitentiary peniten-tiary at least. . It was only the lamp that hit young Willie K. Vanderbilt. How would he like to get a crack from the old buck automobile itself? King Peter has just had a birthday. We would strongly advise him to have as many of them as possible at his earliest convenience. College students who rushed to Kansas have now discovered that helping in the harvest field is a great occupation to read about. The supreme court of Minnesota has decided that poker debts are not collectable, col-lectable, a fact which we have known ever since we began to sit Into the game. A New York woman lawyer has just been wooed and won by the attorney . whom, she defeated iu a le&al battle a few weeks ago. There's a man 'with' courage. This tendency toward consolidation in financial circles is a wonderful thing. There is even to be a merger of the warring members of the Vanderbilt Van-derbilt family. The fact that an opera singer kissed Sir Thomas three times before he suspected what she was about is no sign that he means to desert the yacht for the smack. There were cries of "Vive Loubet!" as the President of France rode through the streets of London. He probably is still wondering what the enthusiastic people meant. The San Francisco man who has been obliged to go into insolvency in consequence of his unsuccessful attempt at-tempt to corner lima beans, realizes that he didn't know them. When the prince of Wales departed from the Kearsarge the band played "God Save the King," though just how the prince knew that it was not playing play-ing "America we can't quite make out The decision of a Brooklyn magistrate magis-trate that for one woman to call another an-other an old maid is a serious case of disorderly conduct increases the swelling ranks of our Dogberrys by one shining member. It cannot be denied that the emotional emo-tional fervor of the compliments exchanged ex-changed by kings, ministers, visiting naval officers and other attests to the stimulating qualities of the champagne cham-pagne used on these occasions. Humanitarians would be happier over the abolishment of the cudgel and knout in the Russian penal system sys-tem if there was not a new provision for beating with birch rods up to 100 blows for "slight offenses and misdemeanors." mis-demeanors." Before giving its unqualified approval ap-proval to the aganio mermis culicis the public will want to know something some-thing about it. A-microbe that is capable of doing a New Jersey mosquito mos-quito to death must be a rather ugly customer himself. Paris must have had some dazzlers during the past season. The foot-light foot-light favorites were the means of bringing $S,00,000 iuto the coffers of the Paris theaters during the season. A good many people at different times have felt like joining in millionaire million-aire Arioch Wentworth's prayer to be allowed to live without a stomach. If Commander MeCrea ever drinks anything but whisky and soda water after this he will have to be classed with the disloyal and ungrateful. ' The man who took the first shot at King Alexander has been promoted only one grade. And this it Is to be a conspirator! Peter should be known In history as Peter the Ungrateful! Six prisoners refused to leave the Jail when eleven others broke out at Williamsburg, Ky. Possibly It cost them too much trouble to get in. The London Lancet Is likely to receive re-ceive a stern rebuke from the king of the Cannlbaf Islands for saying that fat babies are unhealthy. "Well," dear, I must hurry, said Mrs. Thompkins after dinner. "I am going to the club. This is Shakespeare Shakes-peare night." "What do you women know about Shakespeare?" snorted Mr. Thompkins. Thomp-kins. "A woman's club is all right when it confines itself to the burning Issue of "How Shall We Keep Our Husband's Home Evenings," or "How to Fry -a. Poached Egg," but a way off when it tries to wrestle with Shaks-peare." Shaks-peare." "We don't talk about how to keep husbands home evenings," said Mrs. Thompkins indignantly. "Who in the world wants to keep them home evenings? even-ings? It's a relief when they stay downtown." "Anyhow," resumed Mr. Thompkins unruffled, "women's club meetings must be the funniest things in the world. What do women know about anything, anyhow? And to think of them talking about Shakspeare and the classics generally. It would be diverting If it wasn't so confoundedly heart breakingly sad." Mrs. Thompkins merely looked at her liege with a commiserating expression ex-pression on her face and offered no reply. "Look here' said Mr. Thompkins suddenly, "I'm sorry for you women. I believe that after all you are trying to know something. The trouble is that the men generally laugh and don't go In and help you out. Now, I'll just go to the club with you tonight to-night and give the members a little talk that will do them some good." Mrs. Thompkins demurred," but Mr. Thompkins would have his way, and bo the two went to the club. Mr. Thompkins had to cool his heels in the hall outside until Mrs. Thompkins secured him the privilege of coming in and addressing the assemblage. Mr. Thompkins walked boldly In and was introduced by the president He felt a little confused at first when he saw a hall full of women, all deadly dead-ly silent and wearing the cold, serious, se-rious, funereal expression always worn by the members of women's clubs at their meeting. As Mr. Thompkins stepped forward he was aware that one-fourth of the assemblage assem-blage had raised lorgnettes to their eyes and were gazing steadily at him. "Ahem, ah, ladies," began Mr. Thompkins. "My wife fools away a good deal of her time in this club, and other husbands are in the same boat with me, and I thought I would come over and give you a nice little talk. I think you women would be wiser if you gave up this literary and historical part of your work and stick to pink teas. Gossiping and tittle-tattle tittle-tattle Is more In women's line than profound literary discussions. Ykrti see, ladies, the trouble is that you cannot make a 'purse out of a sow's ear, as Shakspeare says, and it is impossiblie for" a feminine mind to grasp these great, grave subjects with which men concern themselves. I don't" "Mme. President," said a cold-faced woman in the back of the hall, as she glared at Mr. Thompkins through A Vicarious Victim I sprinted down the road a scant four or five feet in front "of the largest and most determinedly ferocious dog it was ever my ill-luck to set eyes on. Just as I was on the point of collapsing, col-lapsing, a compassionate farmer came out of his. barn, and comprehending the situation with a few well-chosen words and emphatic lucks drove the ravening beast away. " - "Say," he asked curiously, "what yer been a-doin' up ter ol Sile Har-rower's Har-rower's ter make him set bid'purp on ye like thet?" , "Nothing," I replied, from "tvhere I had dropped in the dust gasping for breath. "Not a single thing.- I only stopped there and asked him to sell me a glass of milk, and he willfully sicked that that man-eater on me without a word of warning. I'll get a gun, and " "Ho, ho, ha, ha, ha!" chuckled my rescuer, bending double in his mirth. "Ye did? An' say, I'll bet ye asked him perlite, too. Now, didn't ye?" "Of course," I replied, with ungrateful ungrate-ful testiness. "You don't suppose I told the old scoundrel what I think of him now, do you? And the unconscionable villain sicked that " "In course, in course," interrupted the farmer, nodding his head affirmatively. affirma-tively. "Ol' Sile is sour, sourer'n all the milk thet ever turned, on city fellers fel-lers buyin' milk off'n him." "But why?"' I demanded. "There's no such awful Insult in as"king for a glass of milk, Is there? And '111 shoot that dog if I have to go to jail for it." "Why, ye see, Sile has some excuse fer It," explained my rescuer, leaning comfortably back against the barn door. "Leastwise, thet's the way he looks at it. 'Cause it ain't more'n six W O0FSC SekcKelor. Girl. All men like a well-dressed woman; but theydon'tail like to pay the bi.ls. One trouble .with women who will not marry is that they have learned to discriminate. They all want to marry if they can get just what they want A woman needs to have been in love a number of times before she learns how to take any comfort out of It It Is a, sad commentary on man that a perfectly cold-hearted, indifferent, and selfish woman can usually manage man-age him better than any other kind. Men have so deified physical beauty in woman since the beginning of time that it is a wonder the sex has any heart or brains left in it. Man has idealized the domestic woman in song and story;' yet she TBS her lorgnettes. "I understood that this gentleman was to talk to us about Shakspeare and not to scold us for our lack of mentality." "Well," said Mr. Thompkins, "I am willing to talk to you about anything. There is hardly any subject that could be mentioned on a which a man is not fifteen or twenty times better informed than a woman. You see, ladies, a woman's all right, but she " "Will the speaker kindly confine himself to the subject on which he was expected to address the club," said the president, severely. "Of course, of course," Mr. Thompkins. Thomp-kins. "Well, Shakspeare was a great man. He had a great head and a great mind. He wrote a lot of great plays, he did: The truth is, ladies, while I could talk all night on this subject, perhaps we would save time if you were to ask question. In my general talk I might hit on just the topics on which you desire enlightenment enlighten-ment and again I might not. Now if you will ask questions I will answer them for you." . - "Do you think the Baconian theory held by Ignatius Donnelly tenable?" Inquired the cold-faced lady from the back part of the room. "I don't think you make your question ques-tion clear," said Mr. Thompkins. "Do you think Bacon wrotes Shaks-peare's Shaks-peare's plays?" asked the woman. "Of course not," replied Mr. Thompkins. Thomp-kins. "If he had they would have been Bacon's ,plays, wouldn't they? Anybody ought to know that. "But many people insist that Bacon wrote them," said the stern lady. "Don't you ever believe it." replied Mr. Thompkins: "That's the trouble with you women, your believe everything. every-thing. Some one's been stringing you." "Would you name the six plays of Shakspeare which you consider best?" asked another questionere: "Sure," said Thompkins, "'Hamlet, and 'Two Orphans' and 'The Waifs- of New York, and 'Richelieu, and the 'School for Scandal." "Was Hamlet insane?" asked another an-other woman. "O yes," said Mr. Thompkins; "Shakspeare doesn't mention it, but they had Hamlet in a big house in Paris for two years before the the time of the play." "I thought Hamlet was a Dane," spoke up another woman. "Not on your life," said Mr. Thomp-itins. Thomp-itins. "He was an Italian organ-grinder organ-grinder who had to go to Paris because be-cause the sheriff was after him for murdering Ophelia. ' "I think we have had enough of this farce," said the president in chilling tones as she rapped on th6 table. "We are not here to listen to such frivolity. If the gentleman thinks he can amuse us by such banalities he is misinformed. Will the gentleman gentle-man kindly withdraw., Thompkins went down the aisle amidst an oppressive , silence that could be distinctly felt. He was so crushed and frozen that he hid under the stairs until the meeting finally adjourned and his wife came and dragged him out and took him home. month now since a feller, slick an' perlite an' cityfied, came along ter his farm one day, an' bought a glass of milk from ol' Sile. An' all ther time he was sippin' at it, he done nothin' but praise it up fer the best milk he ever tasted of, hadn't never drunk such milk nowheres, which nat'rally tickled ther ol' man considerabul, he havin' ther scrawniest, meanest, most no-'count herd of cows In these here parts. Ther milk bein' so superfine, ac-cordin' ac-cordin' ter him, ther young feller was ded sot on huyln' ther hull herd imme-jit imme-jit fer a dairy farm he told Sile he was startin', an' arter considerabul dickerin' over ther price, ol' Sile give in an' reluctantly consented ter sell him his dunghill cattle fer Alderney prices. An' ther feller was so confoundedly con-foundedly 'fraid ol' Sile would repent an' go back on the deal, leastwise so he said, thet he made the ol' man sign his name ter what he called a option, agreein' on no 'count not ter " "Well, what has the old unhung ruf-an's ruf-an's rascality got to do with his inhuman in-human treatment of me?" I asked, as my friend in need stopped to chuckle and wink humorously at me. "Wall," he went on, a broad grin cn his face, "ther young feller ain't been seen 'round here none since, but ther ol man ain't forgot him none, all on 'count of thirty days arter thet thar option bein' duly signed by him havin' ter make good a not it fclato fer ?300 what'd been discounted over at the bank at ther county seat. Since which sad happenin it ain't nowise been saloobrious fer no one ter offer ter buy no glass of milk off'n ol' Sile Harrower." Alex Ricketts, in New York Times. Reflections can't talk to him about her children for an hour without boring him. A woman's most attractive mental quality to a man is that of being a gocxl listener. No one ever hears about scrubwomen scrub-women or charwomen losing their womaKliness; but it's different if she's a lawyer or-! doctor. Women may get highejr education and the ballot; but the member of the firm that holds the pocketbook will always be the boss. Men have always considered Intellect Intel-lect the most desirable quality in man and the most undesirable one in woman. . It isn't nice to try to be smart at the expense of the other sex but the worm will turn. Minnie J. Reynolds In New York Times. TIGE'S WATERLOO Pet of Maine Man Learned a Bitter Experience "There's one thing you don't want to do when you hunt porcupines," said a Maine man who has been there, "and that is sic a green dog after one of 'em. Did it once myself rtnrtner a neriod of excitement ana lost my dog. 'Twas this way: Aiyf other fellow and I, after the enac&- menu oi me law uiiiig a uuuuij "'X 25 cents each on dead porcupines, started out to gather In a few. Tige, the dog I lost, knew there was something some-thing in the air when he saw me loading load-ing shells, and he whimpered his eagerness to be away. "Now, Tige wasn't what you might call a likely candidate for bench show purposes, nor would he stand a bird In a woodcock cover, but all the same he was a fair to middling all-round, all-round, every-day dog. When it came Gazed Mournfully at the House. to woodchucks or coons he was a howling blizzard and he would tree partridges, but he had no use for skunks. Once in his younger days, before ha had become wise to many things which puppies learn by ex-perienee, ex-perienee, he descried in the moonlight moon-light of a June evening a sleek little, plump little black and white object that looked like a cat. "Skunks never run from impending impend-ing danger. Neither do porcupines. Both are well armed, and they seem to know that anything alive with sense enough to get from under when it rains ought tofind it convenient to let them alone. Tige was a frolicsome, frolic-some, callow pup. Having had lots of fun racing the farm cats up an old butternut tree that stood in the yard, he seemed to think 'twould be a high old jubilee to make the strange pussy in the moonlight take to the timber. 'Ba-r-row,' he mumrmured, and away he went. I yelled a call off after him, but 'twas no use. He was in to get all that was coming to him, and he did. - - "Jebus netty, but that was a surprise sur-prise for the pup! He let loose a blart like a scared calf. Yes, 'twas a blart. There was no suggestion ol bark oi " howl in Tige's -Sfcce .VfhoL the little black and white thing in the moonlight checked his rush. It was a blart pure and simple, a blart all aquiver with dire dread. Guess Tige thought his time had sure come, and he looked to me for succor. With tail tucked between his legs he shaped shap-ed a course for master, and very naturally I took to my heels to get away from the overpowering stench. 'Twas no use. Tige was a sprinter, and fearing he'd get close and contaminate con-taminate me I began jerking stones and yelling for him to 'get out' and 'keep away. "The poor cuss seemed to think me ungrateful, and when later on the whole household, including the family fam-ily cats, flagged him he looked like he felt meaner than watered milk. He was for a time the sickest pup 1 ever saw. When the perfume got good and next to him he'd slide his head along the grass, first one side and then the other. This skating on "Ba r-row," He Murmured, and Away He Went. his ear failing to banish the evil essence, es-sence, he'd root hia nose Into the-sods, the-sods, roll and tumble in the dust and grass, and then sit down' at long distance dis-tance and gaze mournfully at the house, into which the whole family had fled for protection. He foamed The Force of Habit. A young lady ot,this city who lives at home, in order to provide herself with- pin money, answered an advertisement adver-tisement in one of the daily papers which called for young" men and women wo-men to write circulars at hornet She found on Investigation that the work was that of preparing circular letters for a large department store. The company, wishing to dispose of a special line of goods, had written at 'the bottom of each, letter, "Come early to avoid the rush." Now about this time the young lady had occasion to write and send an invitation in-vitation to a young man of whom she was especially fond to call. He never responded and the young lady does not Know to this daythat she wrote at the end of her note, "Come early to avoid the, rush." Philadelphia Ledger. Well Directed Energy. Now the times are out of Joint, sure. A bunch of college graduates heat their way on freight trains to Kansas in order to go to w or k 'Atlanta 'At-lanta (Ga.) Journal Few Things About Skunks by The Fretful Porcupine. and drooled and whined and was on bad terms with himself and the world for three days. He was deperately ashamed of his predicament, and for veeks aftf he had no confidence to look lonf us sauare in the eve. I f ll.Tnl - "eiiing incident put Tige -jenmg inciaent put Tige zt grange black and white noc- "u animals, and thereafter h nanigbty careful about trying to put? stray cats up a handy tree. If wh-jt he took to be a cat In the night refused to run when he growled an rushed, he'd sidestep the proposition quicker than he could snap at the bite of a flea. At such times he seemed to j-emember the high-stenching disaster dis-aster of his puppy days, when a thing that looked like a cat put it all over him. ' "Tige tnew skunks, and after his first, catch-as-catch-can with one of 'em he seemed to have made up his mind that the only safe way to fight them was to maneuver beyond the danger line and bark out a lot of sass and abuse. He had been bitten by coons an woodchucks, and being an apt pup he learned to run around his quarry, feint for a drawout and when opportunity oppor-tunity blossomed jump in and get a strangle hold. But porcupines were nj.to TJge. They are no good as - - ' 25c bounty law there was no incentive in-centive to hunt them, but a whole lot of it to let them alone. Their blamed quills are like a bad habit. Once they get fleshed into man or beast they work deeper. Being barbed they pull out like fishhooks. The kind of porcupines we have in this part of the country are greedy bark eaters, and it is the inside of the bark that ifey prefer. Their front teeth are like those of the beaver, and they can strip the big limbs of a tree In a short time. Stripping the bark from a tree will kill it, and it is to save the spruce and hemlock of Maine, that the incentive incen-tive to exterminate the animal ha3 been made. -"'Porcupines are fool animals. Their wits are about as sharp as the hind end of an ax, and like the skunk, they either don't, know enough or don't care a fig, to 'look out for the engine Sthen the bell rings. P'r'aps it's because, be-cause, like the skunk, they are so well armed. Meet one in the road, and instead in-stead of taking to the weeds and tall grass, he'll just drop his snout between be-tween his forelegs, lay his tail flat in the dust, hunch his back, bring all of his quills to charge bayonets, and await your pleasure. He cannot shoot "Shake 'em, Tige!" his quills, as some vivid imaginations would have the children believe, but a bare touch is sufficient to fasten one of them in a body's flesh. With his tail, which will flow like a steel spring when he is touched, he can drive quills homo as a shingler drives nails, and that's one of the things Tig learned about these thorny animals on his last hunt. "Some, of the fellows near where I live had collected sufficient evidence in the way of snouts and claws to convince con-vince the proper authorities that there had been a considerable falling off in the porcupine population of the country. They had gathered in enough com to make something of a jingle in their pockets, and their success somewhat some-what excited the neighborhood. Everybody Ev-erybody all at once took a notion to go porcupine hunting. My pup Tige, a friend with whom I have hunted coons, and myself went out one moonlight moon-light night and bagged three before Tige met his Waterloo. We had put a big one up a tree, and had quite forgotten for-gotten Tige In our excitement. My friend gave old porky a load of sixes and down he came ker-thump. The instant he struck Tige was at him, and I, forgetting 'twa3 porcupitei instead in-stead of coons, yelled: 'Shake 'em, hoy!" "Poor Tige for the moment typified the fellow in the old song, 'There Was a,Man in Our Town.' The song tells how the man picked a red-hot iron right up and laid it right down again. Well it was something like that with Tige. He got a mouthful of porcupine before he discovered what an undesirable unde-sirable bit of chewing he'd stacked up against. His mouth and throat were as full of quills as a dressmaker's pincushion pin-cushion of pins. His whole body was decorated with them. I made up my mind then and there that hunting porcupines por-cupines for 25 cents a head was hardly worth the effort" Woman Not "a Person. Not long ago a woman applied to be admitted to the examinations for a solicitor in Scotland and the" Scottish Scot-tish law courts thereupon decided that a woman was not a person. That is to say, the act of parliament which regulates the terms on which anybody any-body is admitted to practice law in Scotland speaks always of "persons," and the judges held that this word should apply only to men. Much the same decision was given a good many years ago in England about women medical students, and that matter was put right for the women who wished to become doctors by parliament passing pass-ing an act stating definitely that women wo-men could be admitted to- all medical examinations where the heads ofvthe profession were williDg to admit them. I Hen With Record. farmer on Long Island has a hen with a record of 265 eggs. Of course he calls her "Macduff" to encourage her to "lay on." This remarkable fowl 1 valued at $300. New York PreM, , yNTLRNATIONAL PRESS ASSOCIATION. BY PC AMISSION OF RAND. MSN A LLY & CO. . CHAPTER XI. ICK SET HIS teeth and turned without a word to the colonel for the explanation. The colonel was not for a moment at a loss; he had long been preparing for the present difficult situation, and now that he bad the opportunity op-portunity of dealing With Dick and Camilla separately, he was no longer. doubtful of the result. His last anxiety vanished with the haughty figure now disappearing beneath be-neath the companion-hatch. He linked his arm in Dick's with a friendly smile, and began to walk him lowly up and down the deck in silence. . "My friend," he said presently, "my sister-in-law and you misunderstand each other; you are both young, and youth Is so intolerant of difference! I im older, and I understand you both. I am less prejudiced, and can sympathize with each in turn. I am happy to be here, for I have no doubt," he continued, con-tinued, "that I shall be aWe to effect a speedy reconciliation." "But what is the matter?" cried Dick. ''I don't understand!" "Precisely," replied the colonel; "nor does Madame de Montaut. You do not see why your very natural refusal to join our little plot should cause any one Surprise or pain. She, on the other hand, has never thought of the . difficulty diffi-culty of it from your point of view. She supposed you to have accepted, and was therefore sharply disappointed at finding that we must do without you, after all." "Yes, yes!" cried Dick; "I know all about the mistake. Of course you all thought I had accepted when I came to Russell street that unlucky morning; but hew could you, how could she, think me for a moment capable of doing do-ing such a thing? That's what hurts me." "My dear Estcourt," answered the colonel, col-onel, with a deprecatory smile, "you musn't be too hard on us. I confess I ought to have known better; but I was hard put to it. As for Madame de Montaut, she never understood the question. I fear the line I took may have been the cause, for she trusts me perhaps more implicitly than she ought to do," and the colonel shook his gray head with a very becoming modesty. "And then you must remember," he continued, "that she knew you were friendly with Lord Glamorgan and other oth-er members of the opposition who profess pro-fess to desire nothing so much as the Emperor's liberation. I suppose their speeches are but counsels of perfection, and not Intended to be taken literally, but that is one of the things we in France can never understand about you English. We are the slaves of logic, and cannot comprehend how a man can preach gravely what he would think It wrong for himself or any one else to put Into practice." Dick was vanquished; and indeed he wished no better fate. He was lost in a foretaste of the delightful days to come, and was only brought to himself by the sudden recollection that they would be fewer than he would be allowing al-lowing himself to reckon. He turned round upon the colonel. "Why mustyou leave us so soon?" he asked abruptly. The colonel was staggered for a mo ment. "So soon?" he said; "so soon as what?" ' "The captain said you were only going go-ing as far as Ascension." "Ah, yes!" said the colonel, recovering recover-ing himself; ','Ascension. Yes, that's all."- "Tou can't be meaning to stay on such a desert island," said Dick, a-trem-ble with hope. "I suppose we can wait while you do your business there, and take you on to the Cape afterward?" "Think you," replied the colonel, giving giv-ing him a meaning look; "but we can . not afford to go quite so far as the Cape, though I confess to you in confidence con-fidence that we do not intend to stay longer than we can help at Ascension.' Dick reflected, and in a moment or two he had comprehended the meaning of this remark. About half-way in a direct line between Ascension and the Cape lies the Island of St. Helena; that of course wasthe -De Montauts' real destination. He understood now why they had sailed in the Hamilton under false names. He saw, too, that he must abandon all hope of prolonging the time of their companionship with him, for the Speedwell could not land the conspirators con-spirators at St. Helena without becoming becom-ing in some degree their accomplice. M. de Montaut was watching him all this time, and read his face like an open book. "Now then," he said, at last, "I am going down to speak to my sister-in-law. I think you had better wait for me up here, if you don't mind." Dick willingly assented, and the colonel col-onel left hini to pace the deck alone while he went off to attempt the second and more difficult part of his meditation. medita-tion. "Ah!" he murmured to himself, as he made his way below, "It Is easy enough to pursuade a man of anything, more especially if It's not the truth; but CamiUa Is unfortunately not a man. Never mind," he added, as he knocked at her door, "she must pursuade herself, her-self, that's all." And he entered the cabin with as meek and helpless an expression as he could manage to put on. " ' Camilla was in a state of feverish agitation. agi-tation. She attacked him at once. "Well," she cried, "and what does this mean, sir?" The colonel hung his head. "Did I not tell you," she continued, "that if Captain Estcourt went with you I should stay behind?" "I thought perhaps you might think better of it." "Do I generally threaten what I do not mean to carry out?" she retored. To thi3 he made no answer, and his silence suggested, as it was Intended to do, that it was now rather late in the day for the fulfillment of this particular par-ticular threat. "Do you not see," she went on, "into what a position your foolish obstinacy has entrapped me?" "I am very sorry," murmured the colonel. "It is infamous of you," she cried. "Here we are, with our enterprise already al-ready launched; for me to turn back now vould be to forfeit my share in the glory of success; to send him away would be to ruin it all." "I'm afraid it would," said the colonel. In a tone of discouragement; and he looked about him frowning, as if perplexed per-plexed at the difficulty of the dilemma. Camilla's indignation was by this time beginning to exhaust itself. To hammer so arbject an opponent was merely beating the air, and of that the strongest fighter soon wearies. "What am I to do?" she cried li TJ-spair. 6Y HENRY "Couldn't you go on as yau are doing?" do-ing?" he suggested. "What! live for a fortnight cooped up here with a man whom I've insulted to his face?" - - , "It's not your fault," he replied; "he brought it on himself." "No, no! he did not!" she answered, hotly. "It was your doing from the beginning." "I asked him to come, I admit," said the colonel; "but he shouldn't have ac cepted." "How can you," she exclaimed, "how dare you, compare his share In it with your own? You were the tempter, you were the suggester of evil. His con duct in yielding may seem strange to us, but we can not tell what good reasons rea-sons he may have had for taking a less severe view of his duty in this instance He belongs to a party which has long favored the Emperor's release; he was no longer actually employed in the Eng lish government, which has treated him withingratitude; he was chivalrously ttevoted to us, his friends, and there may have been other reasons. I could wish that he had acted differently, but I will not hear you blame him." The colonel hugged himself in secret. It was an exquisite pleasure to hear his own sophistries arrayed against him and to see them working out his own purpose after all. Some gleam of satisfaction satis-faction must have twinkled from a crevice in his assumed stolidity, for Camilla stopped, as if partly conscious of something inconsistent in her argu ment. "Don't misunderstand me," she cried; "I. do not take back anything of what I said." He interrupted her. "Of course not," he said; "I was waiting to remind you that as we are to touch at Ascension, you have still a free choice; we could easily land you there for. a fortnight, and take you off again on our return rom St. Helena. You would lose none of the credit of the undertaking', and you would share the Emperor's triumphal return to Europe." "I will consider that," she replied, "before we reach Ascension; but it was not what I was thinking of. What I meant to tell you was that in any case I refuse to have Captain Estcourt forced upon me as a colleague. I decline de-cline to recognize him in that position, and you may tell him that if he and I are to meet, it must be on other ground, and expressly on condition that the object of this voyage is never mentioned." The colonel sighed; not, as she supposed, sup-posed, with resignation, but with relief and perfect satisfaction. "I will go to him at once," he said, and left the cabin, still dejected and submissive in appearance. As he climbed the companion-ladder, however, his demeanor underwent a complete change, and it was with a beaming face that he emerged up the deck, where Estcourt was anxiously awaiting his return. "It is all right,' 'he said, cordially; "I knew it would be. She has quite got the better of her disappointment, and Is sorry for having hurt your feelings feel-ings just now. Her indignation. It appears, ap-pears, was not directed at you but me, whom she blames severely for having been the original cause for all this trouble. trou-ble. I confess it, but I assure you I was far from intending to estrange you from us." "Don't Bay another word!" cried Dick, seizing his hand and shaking it in a fervor of gratitude. "I'm your debtor for the rest of my life. But now let me go to her at once."- "Stay a moment," said the colonel, holding him by the sleeve; "let me give you one last hint before you go. No wise man expects an apology from a woman under any circumstances." "Apology!" Dick broke in impatiently. "Of course not!" "Very well, then," continued his companion, com-panion, "that being so, it will prevent any possible awkwardness if you ignore the late regrettable incident altogether. And I may add that I know you would be consulting her own wishes if you refrained from mentioning the Object of our voyage at all. The subject is not one with pleasant associations as between herself and you." Dick thought the colonel a model of judgment and kindness. He thanked him again hastily, and went below with a beating heart. Camilla was in the saloon by himself; she flushed when he entered, but greeted him naturally, and without any reference to what had passed. While her hand lay in his she looked at him a little sadly, he fancied, as though a tinge of her first disappointment disap-pointment still remained; but that surely sure-ly was natural enough, and needed only time to efface it from her memory. Meanwhile he had a fortnight, a whole age of happiness before him. The colonel, col-onel, who had calculated with nicety the time he ought to allow them, now came discreetly in and suggested breakfast. break-fast. "Certainly," said Dick; "it Is long past the time; but where's Captain Worsely ?" "Oh," replied the colonel; "havent they told you! "He's got a fever, and can't leave his berth today." "That's rather sharp work," said Dick; "he seemed all right when I left the ship yesterday." "Yes," said the colonel, "there is a sudden kind of feverish attack which is not uncommon, I am told, in these latitudes. It took him quite suddenly, just as we came on board; he was very queer, and kept me up late into the night talking in the most random manner. man-ner. I thought you must have heard us," he added, with a quick, searching glance at Dick. "I did hear you!" replied the latter. "And that reminds me that I also heard-, or fancied I heard, a boat put off in the middle of the night, and come aboard some time later." . "Just so," said the colonel; "that was what he and I were arguing about. I wanted "some things I had forgotten fetched from the Hamilton, and Captain Cap-tain Worsley refused me a boat, but I got my own way at last with some difficulty." dif-ficulty." And having fired off this explanation ex-planation which he had ready loaded and primed for some time past, Jie turned the conversation adroitly back to the Hamilton, and the incidents of their voyage from England. When the meal was over, Dick remembered the captain again. "I can't say I regret old Worsley's temporary absence," he remarked, "for I prefer very much our present party of three; but I think I must go and see him, for the sake of civility." "I don't'think I would, if I were you," said the colonel lightly; "he's still rather rath-er oveexcitable thi3 morning, and he has' apparently, for some absurd reason, rea-son, taken a dislike to you." Dick laughed. "I'm not afraid of his tongue," he said; "I'm shot-proof against marine gunnery." And he went toward the door. The colonel turned away and bit his mustache. He dared not insist further, for fear of arousing suspicion; for, upon the face of it, what could it matter to him whether Dick went or not? But in reality a good deal was at stake, and Dick's sudden resolve had taken him for once unprepared. unpre-pared. So he sat still, and listened with desperate anxiety to hear what would follow. The Speedwell's construction between decks? was not quite that of an ordinary brig. She was large, but, as was only reasonaMe in a ship carrying government storer, she had no provision for a number of passengers, but was instead fitted with unusually ample quarters for the captain and three or four otiiers. Thus, while the saloon was small, there were on each side of it three good cabins, or rather staterooms, state-rooms, instead of the ordinary berths. On the starboard side Madame de Mon taut, the colonel, and Dick were quar tered; on the opposite side were tne captain's two rooms and the mate's cabin. A narrow passage was left on each side between these state-rooms and the saloon. The Colonel, with his head against the wooden wall of the latter, could hear perfectly all that passed on the other side; and. In fact, when Dick stood at the captain's door he was within a yard of him. First he heard him knock once, and again lowder. There was no answer. The colonel col-onel was rigid, but his eyes betrayed intense anxiety. Camilla had fortunately fortu-nately gone to her own cabin, and th-re was no one to observe his un-concealable un-concealable agitation. Dick knocked a third time. The colonel ground his teeth and drew In his breath. A rattling rat-tling noise followed. Instantly the tension ten-sion of his limbs relaxed, and a look of relief spread over his face. Dick bad tried the door and found it locked. The colonel got up and wiped his brow. His secret was safe now, and he must get ready for another little scene in the comedy, which could not be long delayed. de-layed. Dick meanwhile was knocking again, and calling Captain Worsley by name. Still there was no reply, and he began to fear that the unfortunate man had fainted, with no one at hand to look after him. He turned to the mate's room. It was empty. He knocked more loudly yet on the captain's door. Final ly he was about to rush away to find the mate on deck, when he caught the sound of some one moving about inside tha i-onm "Open, open!"- he cried J'Why " 3:tyriS you open?" 1 The door swunj? inward as he spoke.' A strange man stepped quickly out. Then, as Dick drew back, he stooped and coolly locked the door, behind him. As he raised his head again, Dick stared at him In amazement. It was not Captain Worsley, but Hernan Johnstone, John-stone, the pilot of the Edgar at Copenhagen. Copen-hagen. (TO BB CONTrXCED.) BURLAPS FOR DECORATION. They Are Not Costly and Come Prepared Pre-pared for Cse Burlaps are not costly. The price of the material itself is of little consequence, conse-quence, but the objection to the use of burlap for decorative purposes heretofore hereto-fore has been that, while the material Itself was of the most inexpensive kind, the employment of it as a decorative material enforced a greater cost than any other material. The services of an artist were required ; the expense of too much special skill was incurred. This was before burlaps were specially prepared pre-pared for decorative purposes; now they come already prepared to be put on the walls as a completed decoration. In the list of materials of this class there are burlap, buckram, canvasses and some special weaves, one of which is called the herring-bone. The burlap comes in. any width from one yard to eight yards, of course in any length, so that it may be put on Che walls without, any seams. It is colored at the factory, and finished soft on the face and sized on the hack, so that the decorator has nothing to do hut paste it and put it on the wall just as he puts wall paper on. There are fifteen or twenty shades and tints, and any desired tone can be obtained in the walls of the ceilings. A variation from this is a cheviot, which comes in two qualities, coarse and fine texture, both of which, however, how-ever, are finer in texture than burlap. These cheviots come in many colors, and in widths ranging from 36 to 280 inches. This also can be laid fiat on the wall so as not to show a seam. Lacquered Lac-quered cheviots have a finish that resembles re-sembles lacquer with sizing on the back, and they also come in a great many colors. The herring-bone is a peculiar weave, resembling the fishbone, fish-bone, which gives It two tones. Thus burlap and these variations of it, coming com-ing in so many colors prepared ready for use by the decorators, is a cheap and useful material. It does not require the services of an artist, but, like wallpaper wall-paper and other decorative materials used by the paper-hanger, it may be applied at once. The objection that was urged against it heretofore, does not hold good now. It is artistic and inexpensive. in-expensive. What Feet Do. She sat in a well-known Broadway restaurant the other evening, and amused herself after she had appeased her hunger by watching the men's pedal extremities, says New York Recorder. Re-corder. Some who had feet of generous length caught the heels of their boots on the lower front rung of the chair, and hung their feet up, as it were, while they dined. Two men with short legs and feet to match actually kept on tiptoe tip-toe through the meal. A few wreathed their legs around those of the table. One laid his left foot flat on the floor sideways and stood the rjght one upon it, changing base from time to time. Several hoisted their hoofs on the chair rung, which brought their knees so high their owners had to sit on the bias to avoid raising the table from the ground; a few scattered their pedal belongings under the entire width of the mahogany, mahog-any, tangling them up with the trotters of their vis-a-vis to such an extent that she wondered it wasn't as common to walk off with another man's legs as with his hat In the whole cafe there were not three men who placed their feet flat upon the floor and kept them there. She couldn't help thanking fat3 for her petticoats, for who knows what antics girls may go through while satisfying sat-isfying their bird-like appetites? Ring Oat the Old. A manifest absurdity is the practice, still apparently universal, of figuring and stating the gearing of the bicycle. It is a survival of the unfittest. When the safety bicycle first came in competition com-petition with the ordinary or high wheel, it was quite natural that they should be compared, and it was proper that the crank revolutions of the one should be stated in terms of the other, but now that the ordinary is absolutely dead, why should the old and always inconvenient practice be retained? It would evidently be better all, around to give the crank effect of the safety either in the feet of road traversed per crank revolution or in the number of revolutions revolu-tions to the mile. Thus, a 54-inch ma chine might be called a 14-foot wheel for the number of feet to the revolution or it might be called a 373 wheel for the number of treads to the mile. Almost any method would be better than the present historical relic. American Machinist. Prohibitionists Finely Fooled. A sharp trick has been played on the prohibitionists in the rural districts near Ottumwa, Iowa. They signed what they thought was a petition to abolish the drug-store dramshop. These people have now discovered that instead in-stead they have signed a petition asking ask-ing for the establishment of a saloon in their midst," and are righteously indignant in-dignant They are now working with a remonstrance to undo the mischief. r |