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Show Ghe INDEPENDENT. D. C JOHNSON, PiUUhw. BPRINQVILLE. UTAH Boyhood's lessons are learned cither at or over mother's knee. If the anecdotists keep on Tom Reed will live in history as the Joe Miller of his time. Why not inquire at the coal ofllces for the New York boy who disappeared with 170,000? An Ohio man has brought suit for J200 damages for a bad hair-cut. Shear barbarism, evidently. A funny Munich editor parodied the kaler's funeral speech on Herr Krupp. Three months. Curious how Dewey's fadii popularity popular-ity brightened up again as soon as it looked as if we might need him. Mont Pelee Is going into convulsions again, scientists declare. Here's a booming market for infants' food. Marconi has evidently made up his mind that a press agentless inventor can't hope to stand much of a show. Mr. Jeffries attributes his defeat by Mr. Munroe In Butte to the altitude. Alas, prize fighting is no longer high art. The Sultan of Morocco announces that he is confident of victory. He wisely refrains, however, from saying when. The new 16-Inch gun may throw a ton of steel twenty miles but who can see a bullseye that is twenty miles away? ' We have horseless carriages and wireless telegraphy. Now, if some genius would only Invent noiseless streets. In spite of the general rise In prices the probabilities are that the comic valentine will be retailed at the same old figure. It's not the woman wita the 19-inch waist who is the strongest advocates of woman's rights. They naturally come her way. A Chicago lecturer advises people to yawn as much a3 possible. The average lecture audience does not need the advice. Russell Sage declares that he has never paid to have his shoes shined. He doesn't say whose blacking and brush he borrowed. Mascagni merely illustrates the old theory that when God bestows upon a man musical genius He withholds the gift of business sense. "Beats all," said the advertisement telling of a scheme to get rich, and everyone who tried the scheme will vow that the advertiser told the exact truth. The French tutor who asserts that he can support a German princess out of his earnings has either misjudged the princess or the salary he is to receive. re-ceive. Dr. Lorens is not the brother of an emperor, but his visit to this country will be remembered as of more benefit to Americans than that of Prince Henry. At Brooklyn, N. Y., there have been ninety-nine robberies in twenty-one days. It is evident that Brooklyn Is interested in other things than babies and Sunday schools. Alfred Beit's fortune is variously estimated at from J400.000.000 to 51.-000,000,000, 51.-000,000,000, but as far as the apoplexy is concerned his holdings might just as well stop at 30 cents. ' Writing on "Tom" Reed, Mark Twain profoundly observes that this abbreviating a man's name "is a patent pat-ent of nobility." Unfortunately we can't cut "Mark" any shorter than it is. The Brussels girl who posed as a model for the picture of "The Vampire" Vam-pire" may like the portrait, but how is she pleased with being summed up in the poem as "a rag and a bone and a hank of hair?" Fournler has a new automobile in which he expects to go 106 miles an hour. It Is made in the shape of a cigar, and If the gentleman who expects ex-pects to operate it is wise he will have it made bullet-proof. It Is now pretty generally agreed that laziness, scientifically known as "ankylostoma," is a disease. It is also pretty generally agreed that oil of birch, mixed with a few drops of extract ex-tract of hustle. Is good for it. A Yale professor claims to have discovered dis-covered that all life originated at the North Pole and that man came from the primates through fire. This, of course, happened long before the coal combinations got to doing business. A New Jersey judge having decided that a woman has a right to scold all she pleases, and the Minnesota Supreme Su-preme court having ruled that a man has a right to beat his wife all he pleases, the ground appears to be prepared pre-pared for a resumption of hostilities all along the line. According to the latest statistics, the total debt of the world is $30,000,-000,000. $30,000,-000,000. A prompt settlement on the 1st of January would greatly relieve the financial strain In Wall street. Announcement is made by the coast and geodetic survey that the crust of the earth is shrinking. Probably It is using the wrong kind of soap. The Weston Herald announces that it will not be published next week. Does this mean that the .editor has not sworn off? Toledo Blade. It has Just been discovered that Greenland has no physicians. Will the discoverer please Inform the public pub-lic what brand of breakfast food is used by the Greenlanders? An Oklahoma deacon has been expelled ex-pelled for beating his pastor in a horse trade. Yet some people think Okla-" homa isn't ripe for statehood. Russell Sage has not been persuaded persuad-ed to express any opinions on the profit-sharing idea that so many large cor porations are advancing. How Destiny May Be Amusement for the Long Winter Evenings Three Methods by Which to Learn the Decisions of Fate Accomplish ment Easy to Acquire and HE amusement of fortune for-tune telling with playing play-ing cards is a source of great fun during the long winter evenings. For the amusement and entertainment of our readers three systems sys-tems are given, all of which are widely used. The system first explained is that most used by the professional fortune tellers, and is claimed by them to be the best method known. Throughout the three systems here expounded, the entire pack of fifty-two cards and the joker are used. Each card has the same meaning in all of the systems. The meaning of the cards Is as follows: fol-lows: THE JOKERRemarkable good luck, very great pleasure; great success. suc-cess. HEARTS 1. To the house. 2. A ride or short journey. 3. Love and a proposal. 4. An embrace; affection. 6. A promise; a contract. 6. A friend; Drawing the Future, a relative. 7. Good luck. 8. Good heart; kindness. 9. Wish. 10. Pleasure; Pleas-ure; enjoyment. DIAMONDS 1. A dispatch; a message. mes-sage. 2. A letter; advice. 3. News. 4. Strange table. 5. Presently, nearly. near-ly. 6. Little money. 7. To your room. 8. Want of money. 9. Delay; anxiety. 10. Lots of money. CLUBS 1. A present; a business transaction. 2. A short time; quickly. 3. Opposition; difficulty. 4. Strange bed; a visit. 5. Parcel or bundle. 6. Drinking card. 7. Ring at bell; a visitor. vis-itor. 8. A conversation. 9. For sure. 10. A journey; travel. SPADES 1. Death. (See note.) 2. A lie; deceit. 3. Tears; sorrow; discouragement. dis-couragement. 4. Sickness. 5. A change. 6. Jealousy; possible anger. 7. Removal; parting. 8. Sharp words; dissension; 9. disappointments. 10. Trouble; affliction; loss. Note The ace of spades right Bide up means "over the water," and not death. Kings, queens. Jacks represent people. peo-ple. Red-face cards are light com-plexloned com-plexloned people. Black-face cards are dark people. Kings are regarded as men older than those represented by jacks. COMBINATIONS Three aces, change of places; three deuces, news; three treys, anger; three fours, a fire; three fives, for sure; three sixes, success; suc-cess; three sevens, a move; three eights, true love; three nines, an accident; ac-cident; three tens, a surprise; three jacks, a deceit; three queens, a tiuar-rel; tiuar-rel; three kings a business transaction; four Jacks, kings or queens a crowd. The system referred to as the first of the lot is known as The Magic Circle. Hand the entire pack, including the Joker (considered a very lucky card), to the supplicant to Fortunas. It must then be shuffled from one hand to the other, not the kind of mixing known as ruffling. The mind is to be kept steadily on "the dearest wish of the heart." After the cards have been well shuffled, the entire pack is to be laid face downward on the table, and, using the right if unmarried, the one whose fortune is to be told cuts from herself (taking It to be a woman) twice, thus forming three separate piles. The meaning of the three cards revealed by a glance at the bottom of each pile is then read, and the cards are carefully replaced as they were before the cut. Now the seeress takes the cards into her hands, and taking off the three top cards, looks at them. If these are three of one suit, they are all laid down, face upward. If there are but two of one suit, the higher card is chosen, the ace always being counted as high. If there are three different suits, unless they be of one denomination, they are all discarded. The cards chosen according to this rule form one end of the "Magic Circle." This rule Is followed all through the pack, three cards being examined at a time. If in finishing there is found to be but one card left, that too is added to the circle. The remainder of the pack Is then handed to the inquirer of fate, and is shuffled again. The same wish must be kept in mind, and the cut made In the same manner as before. The examining ex-amining is gone through as before, three cards at a time, and the circle thus added to. This is finally repeated repeat-ed for the third time and the "Magic Circle" is complete. As the cards are being dealt out read the meaning in a general sort of way. For example:1 You have three cards dealt out, the ace of dia-monds( dia-monds( a letter), the ten of clubs (a journey), and the ace of clubs (a business transaction). Thi3 would mean that a letter from one on a Journey telling of or offering a business busi-ness transaction would shortly be received. re-ceived. When the circle is completed, count off seven to tire right. Keep the meaning mean-ing of the card thus designated in mind. Now, counting that card as No. 1, count seven again, still to the right. Keep right on counting until you have been round the ring, remembering each seventh card. Then explain the meaning of that combination of all the cards designated. Should the last card of the circle be. pay, No. 5, finish the count of seven by again counting two Foretold by Cards Always in Demand. cards at the beginning of the circle before making known the meaning of the combination. The circle should be gone over three times in this manner, beginning each time with the seventh card, and calling it No. 1. While the table that precedes this explanation gives the general mean ing of each card, it should be remem bered that each card is influenced more or less by the card on either side of it For example: The. nine of hearts (the wish card) has on one side of it the ten of diamond (the money card), and on tnc other side the nine of spades (disappointment). This would be interpreted "your wish concerned money, but you are doomed doom-ed to disappointment." Now, take the first card of the original orig-inal ring, and place it up above ' the circle. Then place the last card next to it, and repeat right through the circle, cir-cle, first one and then the other, until an entirely new ring has been formed. The cards are then read in the same manner as before, after which another and final circle is arranged and read. If the "wish card" cuts up twice out of the three times, with fortunate cards on each side of it, it is certain to "come true." The joker is always considered a harbinger of good luck, and, should the "wish card" fail to come out in the deal, the joker can be used as a substitute. Another system which appeals to many is known as The Cards of Fate. The face card representing the person per-son whose fortune is being told is taken from the pack and placed face upward In the center of the table. The cards are to be shuffled, as In the previous system, and the seeker of a knowledge of the future is to make a wish. The cards are then drawn out across the table, face downward. Twenty-seven cards are taken from the pile at random by the person whose fortune is being told. The first card is placed over the head of the individual card. This is "what crowns you." The next is placed beneath be-neath the individual card and is "what you are standing on." The third card is placed on the left of the face card and is "what you are facing." The next is placed on the right; and is "what you are turning your back upon." Now place the four following cards slantingly between the card "crowning" and the card "facing you," following with groups of four between the card "crowning you" and the card you have "turned your back upon"; between the card you "face" and the card you "are standing on," and then one between the card you have "turned "turn-ed your back upon" and the card you "are standing on." The manner of laying out the cards is shown in the diagram. Repeat this three times, using twenty-four cards. Finally place the three "sure to come true" cards on the individual card in the center. Wait until all the cards are placed before starting to read the fortune. Start with the three cards above the individual card and read the .combination .combina-tion carefully. For instance: Thy ace of diamonds, king of hearts, and ten of spades are in the pile; the reading would be thus: "Over your head hangs trouble and loss (ten of spades). This will come upon you in the form of a message or dispatch (ace of diamonds), dia-monds), which you will .receive from an elderly man of light complexion (king of hearts). Proceed through the eight separate piles in this manner, taking each up in the same order in which the cards were laid down. The third and last of the simple systems is sometimes called the star system, or This may be used as an entirely separate system oras a supplement to either of the first two systems. In the latter case use only the cards "drawn." In the former case use the entire deck. The cards are to be shuffled and cut as before given. Count off five cards from the top of the deck. Lay them face down one at a time on the table. so as to form the five points of a star As you do so say slowly and impressively impres-sively "To yourself," "To the house," "What you do not expect," "What is sure to come true," "Concerning your wish." Now take one card off the top of the pack, and the next off the bottom of the pack, then'off the top, then off the bottom, and so on all through the deck, laying each card on one of the piles in the same order as that in which the first five cards were laid out. j- Then take up each pile and read the combination that you see there, applying ap-plying to each pile the name you gave it when placing the first five cards. JsTew lork Times. An Engraver's Feat. An engraver of Odessa has engraved the entire Russian national hymn upon a grain of corn, and recently he presented pre-sented the curiosity to the Czar. His Majesty has now forwarded to him through the Civil Governor of Odessa a gold watch and chain, with his thanks for carrying out such a laborious labor-ious undertaking. j H ? g Little Miss or. The Witch of A ROMANCE OF isxj sst. ueorge Author of "Dr. Jack" "Miss Pauline, Kaiser." "Juw Caprice" Copyright, 1900. by Street CHAPTER It The Last Resort. At just nine o'clock that same night a cab came to a halt in front of a sombre pile of masonry known to Parisians Pa-risians as a Capuchian monastery. This vehicle contained our two ad venturers. Jones gave the heavy old- style knocker a few banes that re sounded harshly among the lofty cor ridors within. This summons brought a lay brother at once to the door, for no appeal can ever be slighted by those whose vows have made them brothers to the poor of their faith. Jones announced that he had a most important communication for the reverend father which could not possibly pos-sibly be postponed until another day that he had come over land and sea for this one purpose, and grave results, might follow further delay. The doorkeeper's hesitation seemed quite swept away by such logical reasoning, rea-soning, and he asked the two eentle- men to enter, which they did with con siderable readiness. The brother led them into an apartment and begged them to be patient, pa-tient, as the head of the order was engaged at the time with other visiters wno had, strange to say, also come upon very important business. When they were alone Merrick suggested sug-gested the possibility of the good father's fa-ther's other callers being those persons per-sons whom they least desired to meet at such a critical time, and somehow this idea gave Jones so much uneasiness uneasi-ness that he jumped to his feet. Just as .Jones gained his feet he heard a sneeze twice repeated, a sneeze that seemed to possess an individuality, individual-ity, as is frequently the case. The effect upon Jones was magical, for his companion saw him give a sudden sud-den start, while his jaws came together with a snap. "That is the time you struck the nail squarely upon the head, my boy. The count is here in this building-after building-after all, he has gained a point on us, since he even now talks with the holy father, seeking to present enough Influence In-fluence to secure possession of the secret dossier. You can hear the murmur of their voices in yonder library," li-brary," was what Jones said, Impressively. Impres-sively. "Come, my friend, we must shy our castors into the ring, and remember, re-member, Jones, he pays the freight" Merrick was close upon the heels of the redoubtable Jones when the latter pushed the door wide open and thus unceremoniously entered the adjoining apartment. Neither Jones nor his companion gave more than a passing glance at the room, their whole attention being taken up with the little party gathered gather-ed near the center at the moment when they so suddenly forced an entrance. en-trance. These were three in number, the patriarchial good, father, a tall, bronzed bronz-ed man In the fatigue dress of a French infantry captain, and a yellow- bearded giant just back of him. In these two Merrick recognized the count and his faithful Russian colleague. col-league. Jones should have been called to the bar, for he had all the clever attrl butes of a successful advocate, and could present so plausible a case that few men might hold out against his specious plea. As he advanced in the direction of the trio he raised his hand in a dra matic as well as supplicating manner, and first of all sincerely begged pardon par-don for disturbing the peace and sanctity sanc-tity of so sacred a place. Then he told how he had come to see Father Anselmo upon very import ant business, and hearing the voice of his rival in the adjoining room, he had even dared profane it with his presence, pres-ence, for which he would always bo profoundly sorry, hoping to have the good and gracious father hear his side of the case before delivering up the documents, which, sealed in a packet, he had held long in trust, waiting for some one to come bearing a message from Father Jean. "Good father," said the suave Am erican, producing a paper from his pocket, "there is the claim I make. Upon your judgment I stand ready to stake my all. There you will find substantial sub-stantial evidence to also prove my identity." And while the venerable prelate was reading, the four men surveyed each other as mortal enemies might do Jones calm and scornful, filled with the keen pleasure of coming triumph, the others frowning. Ah! Father Anselmo had finished reading, and looked from one to another an-other of the rival claimants ere rendering ren-dering his decision. "Father, I have your word to de liver the packet to me, your solemn promise," said the count, in a hoarse voice, reading his defeat in the face of the Venerable recluse, and holding desperately des-perately to this last chance, as a drowning man will cling to a straw. "That was given before I had looked upon this document bearing the signature signa-ture of one I once knew well. It is mv solemn duty to deliver this trust to the one who has the stronger claim, otherwise I would be false to my vow." You have decided, then, aeainst me?" asked the count, between his teeth, his eyes - blazing as when he faced the lion upon African deserts. " I cannot resist overwhelming force of circumstances.and his claim comes first," steadily replied the aged father, handing over the packet "Then there is but one resource left us, Stromboloff, and that is to take by force from this rascally American what we are refused peaceably. Draw and stand by me, comrade," snarled the count, as he noisily rattled his sword from its steel scabbard and prepared pre-pared for war. Evidently the big Russian attache had been half expecting some such appeal ap-peal to arms, if one might Judge from the celerity with which he, too. whipped whip-ped out a shining blade, which he was privileged to carry on account of his connection, unworthily enough, wih the legation. . Jones, seeing what lay in the wind, was not slow to reach back to the pocket where he carried a seven-shooter, seven-shooter, and Merrick followed suit with a swing, proving that if the fracas fra-cas actually came to a crisis he would not be found wanting. ... .LA Millions? Monte Csvrlo. g THE R.IVIER.A. IZathborne, of New York," "A Captain of the "The Spider's TW6," Etc., Ate. and Smith, New York. Eye looked into eye, and the count saw a lurking devil in the skyblue orbs of the Yankee that somehow he did not fancy Jones was one of those peculiar pe-culiar men who could smile exasperat-Ingly exasperat-Ingly even when committing harl kari. So the count, having mentally computed com-puted his chances of surviving an encounter, en-counter, and finding them next to nil, decided to defer the reckoning until a more opportune time, when he would be able to bring more powerful pow-erful factors to bear. Father Anselmo touched a bell. Almost immediately half a dozen strapping big monks entered the apartment, proving that this bodyguard body-guard could not have been far away at any time. The count had thrust his sword back in its sheath with an angry movement, move-ment, and stood there with his arms folded, looking defiance. "Before we quit these walls, reverend rever-end father, I demand once more that you place in my hands the packet you solemnly promised to deliver, if I could proye my position. This I have done, and you have it on the honor ef a name Frenchmen are at present pleased to particularly honor." There was no change in the old monk's demeanor; he had weighed his chances and decided upon his plan of action, nor could threats or cajoleries cajoler-ies have any further influence upon him. "I as positively refuse, Count Leon, and in order that you may have no doubts as to what my action In the premises might be, I have here in your presence solemnly delivered to the accredited agent of M. Darragh the packet that was committed to my care when Father Jean passed to immortality." immortal-ity." Jones smiled broadly as his hands eagerly fondled the little sealed package, pack-age, while the count glared his unspeakable un-speakable rage. "Now, depart from under this roof, ungodly men, and pray you come here no more. But for the honor in which all true Frenchmen hold your name, Count Villebois, I would be tempted to complain of your desperate action to those high in authority, who know how to punish as well as reward. With the passing of this legacy into the hands of this worthy man my interest in the matter entirely ceases." "And mine only takes a renewed lease of life," roared the bafiled African Afri-can explorer, as he turned and accompanied accom-panied the doorkeeper out of the room. Neither of our friends had any desire' de-sire' to linger within those gloomy walls, and lost no time in saying farewell fare-well to the venerable father who had proved so good a friend in time of need. It had ceased raining, but gloom hung heavy all around them, a gloom and fog better suited to old London than the gay French capital. Perhaps it was an accident, but neither of them were of a mind to believe be-lieve so. Rather were our friends ready to suspect that the count and his Muscovite ally had something to do with the cab's disappearance, since such men never lose an opportunity to harass an enemy when the opportunity oppor-tunity arises. Nor did their suspicions arise in vain. ' Without the least warning the two friends suddenly found themselves set upon by a squad of roughs, such as may be recruited at small expense from the slums of any great city. When Jones saw the nature of the gang thus brought so rudely to their attention, he scorned to avail himself of the potent weapon of his outer coat. The vermin were not worth such exalted ex-alted treatment. ? Each of our friends had gone forth with a stout cane, and in the hands of determined men these could be made exceedingly serviceable. Thus they turned to meet the onslaught on-slaught with an eagerness that perhaps surprised the footpads, no doubt accustomed ac-customed to having such victims as they chose' to honor with their attention at-tention throw up their hands in inglorious in-glorious surrender. CHAPTER III. Velvet Claws. Jones and Merrick were full of fight. so that the opportunity to do a little work in the service of the community came to them not without its advantages. advan-tages. - -And the way they badgered those castaways from society was really a caution not a head escaped punishment, punish-ment, and some received such a double dose that they grew rattled. The result was a foregone conclu sion, since heads never could be in the same class with clubs. And in less than a minute the friends had their enemies on the run, utterly demoralized de-moralized by the vigorous treatment given. Without attempting pursuit, the two friends made the best of their way to their hotel. Naturally both of them were eager to see what manner of document had fallen into their possession, but it was too public a place to serve as a council chamber, so Jones proposed retiring to his den on an upper floor, where no one would be apt to disturb them. They were in the act of ascending when an attache of the establishment touched Mark upon the shouldor, spoke a few words and handed him a card. Jones saw his friend stand irreso lute, as though hardly knowing what to do. - At the same time he could not but notice that the card was such a3 ladies use for calling. "I'll come up presently, my dear fel lowthird stage, number eighty-seven. Good give me five minutes or fK.'' And as Jones climbed the stairs in preference to using the lift, he chanc ed to glance through the open door of the hotel parlors, and beheld a vision in white, seated on a divan; a wjman so entrancingly beautiful that any man might be pardoned for bowing at her shrine upon the slightest encour agement Jones merely gave one of his little whistles that seemed to express his feelings so completely. For the cha-m- er was the Princess Olgavitch, whom a wretched fate had that day thrown across Mark Merrick's path under most peculiar circumstances, which were of 'a nature to arouse within her certain feelings she had laughed at in others. Jones did not enjoy the sight of it a bit. He knew the character of the Continental Lur-line, Lur-line, and how unscrupulous she had always been In playing with the holiest' of human passions. Meanwhile Merrick entered the parlor. par-lor. He had reasons' of his own for granting the lady's request for an Interview In-terview as soon as she came in. His curiosity had been aroused by a few words written in French upoa her card. "A matter of great importance." She began by thanking him over again for his generous and manly succor suc-cor of the morning. Merrick raised his hand in protest, shaking his curly head as though declaring he had done nothing that deserved such high praise. "Ah, you talk as though you were a member of the czar's court, so studied, stud-ied, so diplomatic. But I must not find fault. Then, monsieur, listen, you and your friend are in danger." (To be continued.) Petriflod Forest In Tripoli. The great desert in the forbidden hinterland of Tripoli, northern Africa, which has not been visited by Europeans Euro-peans for fifty yearg, has now been explored by Mr. Edward Dodson, a young Englishman, who went out last March. The members of the expedition expedi-tion experienced much difficulty with the authorities; at one place they were put under arrest, and on two occasions occa-sions threatened by Arabs, who prepared pre-pared to ambush them, says the London Lon-don Mail. One of the most notable things on the journey to Murzuk was the great petrified forest. For ten days they traveled across an area of petrified trees varying in circumference circumfer-ence from seven feet to a few inches. Every branch of this forest was, of course, lying prone, and this, together with the presence of marine shells, showed that this part of the great Sahara Sa-hara had at one time been submerged. One night they were surrounded by thunder storms. No less than five distinct dis-tinct storms were in progress all around, and the guns and spears of the party became surrounded by a halo of phosphorescent light, which greatly alarmed the superstitious attendants, at-tendants, who regarded this as a fourth judgment upon them for traveling trav-eling with "unbelievers." Flattery Had Its Effects. "Mr. Depew," said a gentleman speaking recently of the senator to a New York Times reporter, "pays a compliment as gracefully as any man, and one would never expect to see him fail to rise to the occasion. It was, therefore, a matter of considerable surprise to me when at a dinner where the senator was a guest that I observed that he allowed to pass several excellent ex-cellent opportunities to compliment a charming young lady of the company. Afterward I commented upon the omission to Mr. Depew himself. ' " 'You observed the lady?' he asked. " 'Yes,' I answered. " 'You noticed that she might be extremely ex-tremely sensitive?' he went on. " 'Yes,' I replied, though truth to tell I hadn't considered the lady's disposition dis-position at all. " 'Well,' said Mr. Depew, slowly, 'I once told a sensitive girl that I thought her as sweet as honey, and the result was disastrous.' '"How so?' I questioned, though I ought to have known better. "The senator answered me in a whisper, 'Next day the lady had hives.' " Victor Hugo's Tun. As a matter of fact, Victor Hugo has a certain claim to be considered as a composer. When his "Lucrece Borgia" was being rehearsed, the question arose as to who should be asked to set the drinking song to music. Meyerbeer Mey-erbeer and Berlioz both offered, but the manager would not hear of either of them, says the London Express. He said he did not want music which would distract the attention of the audience au-dience from the play, and he told the conductor of the theater band to write the tune for the song. The poor man did his best, but he could make nothing noth-ing of it. In despair he went to Hugo. "This is the sort of thing you want," cried the poet, and began shouting the words of the song to a note of music in his voice, but he banged the rhythm with his first upon the table so that the musician got the swing of the song into his head, and very soon dashed off a melody, which he ever afterward called Victor Hugo's tune. Benefited by the Medicine. A student at one of the colleges in the interior of New York state had a barrel of ale deposited in his room contrary, of course, to rule and usage. He received a summons to appear before be-fore the president, who said: "Sir, I am informed that you have a barrel of ale in your room." "Yes, sir." "Well, what explanation can you make?" "Why, the fact is, sir, my physician advises me to try a little each day as a tonic, and not wishing to stop -at the various places where the beverage is retailed, I concluded to. have a barrel bar-rel taken to my room."' "Indeed, have you derived any benefit bene-fit from the use of it?" "Ah, yes, sir. When the barrel was first taken to my room .two days since I could scarcely lift it. Now I can carry it with the greatest ease." Presents to the Pope. Leo XIII. has received many personal person-al nresents since he reached the papal chair. The magnificent jewels presented pre-sented a his recent jubilee included twenty-eight tiaras; 319 crosses, - set with diamonds and other precious stones; 1,200 chalices in gold and silver; sil-ver; eighty-one rings, of which the one given by the sultan is worth $100,-. 000; sixteen pastoral staves of gold, set with precious stones; seven statues stat-ues in gold and silver, as well as one of the largest diamonds in the world. Cold Tea As a Solace. When Senator Warren of Wyoming met Senator Clark' recently in the capi-tol capi-tol lobby he suggested adjourning to the senate restaurant for refreshment. Accepting the invitation, Senator Clark observed thoughtfully: "The derivation of the word 'restaurant' 'res-taurant' is very plain. It is derived from two Latin words, res, meaning a thing, and taurus, meaning a bulL It means, of course, a bully thing." They both drank cold tea in sorrowful sorrow-ful silence. The man who laughs loudest at the sight of a fellow creature trying to lift himsel-.' over a fence by his bootstraps boot-straps is usually the fellow who votes the high tariff ticket in the belief that he can tax himself rich. -Will M. Mau-pin Mau-pin in The Commoner. Win a man's heart and his judgment is scon conviuceiL VIRTUE DUE TO HIS PIPE. (shop Said Smoking kept Him Prom Being Sarcastic. One of Melbourne's historic buildings, build-ings, Bishopscourt, the official residence resi-dence of the Anglican prelate, is about to be demolished and to give place to a more up-to-date structure In its garden is the oldest gum tree in Australia, declared by the late eminent emi-nent botanist, Sir Ferdinand von Mueller, to date from th6" sixteenth century. Under this old tree was the favorite seat and open-air study of Dr. Moore-house, Moore-house, now bishop of Manchester, during dur-ing the ten years that he occupied the see of Melbourne. A lady visitor having once suggested suggest-ed that tobacco was of satanic origin, Bishop Moorehouse replied: "Pardon me, madam, I smoke, and I am a better Christian for doing so. Do you read my letters in the papers?" The lady "replied that she did.Vith pleasure. "Do you ever see anything dis-crarteous dis-crarteous or unkind in them?" "Certainly not. I often remark how well you keep your temper." "Well, madam, the first drafts of these letters contained the most cutting cut-ting things I could think of. Then I would go and sit on the butt of that old gum tree, light my pipe and have a quiet smoke. After that I would return to the house and strike out every line that might give pain to others. -So you see smoking makes me a better Christian." AND THE DUMMY SCREECHED. Window Dresser's Mistake Made Trouble for Him. There is a certain window dresses In Columbus whose mind is on something some-thing else at least for the present, says the Columbus Dispatch. It isn't necessary to mention names nor to locate any particular place, but here Is the story in all its bald-headed unadorned un-adorned "beauty." This window dresser was putting garments on two show window dummies dum-mies the other day and had partially draped two of them. He went downstairs down-stairs for an armful of apparel, and in the meantime two helpers had removed re-moved the "dummies." When he came back, ladened with apparel, two of his helpers had removed the lay figures and had fallen back for reinforcements. reinforce-ments. In the meantime a very pretty and up-to-date young lady had stopped In the store to admire the window. She was speechless, and when the window dresser flew upstairs he grabbed grab-bed the young lady about the waist and started for the window. She let out a yell that shook the building and jolted the young expert so that he could scarcely get his breath. Explanations were in order, but the young woman fails to see how she could be classed with a "lay figure" or a "dummy." Disappearance of the Terrapin. Americans are lamenting the gradual grad-ual disappearance of one of "Brer Rabbit's" Rab-bit's" most famous brothers, the world-famea Chesapeake terrapin. Hunters all down the bay are complaining com-plaining of the scarcity of the diamond-backed creature, and experience the greatest difficulty in finding the famous rabbit, which for long has enjoyed en-joyed both a literary mnd culinary fame. It is not so long ago either, that the same regulation was made with regard to the terrapin and slave owners own-ers as that which existed at one time in London, the Thames salmon. Slaves in the one case and apprentices appren-tices in the other, objected to being fed on terrapin or salmon more than once a week. One of the worst features of the case is that the terrapin, if he disappears disap-pears from Chesapeake bay, will disappear dis-appear entirely, for, in spite of all attempts at-tempts to rear him, the Chesapeake terrapin will not exist in captivity, but dies out in a very short time. Country Coun-try Life, London. The Lord Mayor and the Schnorrer. A good story is told by the Jewish World respecting Sir Marcus Samuel's dealings with a clever schnorrer, which whether true or not, is worth recording. Thinking that in consequence conse-quence of Sir M. Samuel's proud elevation ele-vation he had a special claim on his lordship's bounty, the schnorrer called at his private residence and asked to see the lord mayor. "What do you want him for?" sternly asked the janitor, jani-tor, eyeing the dilapidated visitor. "Tell his lordship that the Almighty's brother-in-law wants to see him," was the audacious message. Having no retort at hand, the footman introduced introduc-ed the schnorrer with this singular message. "What do you mean by calling yourself the Almighty's brother-in-law?" asked the lord mayor in surprise. "Well, you see," was the answer, with the faint ghost of a grin, "during my travels I met two sisters; one I took and the other the Almighty took; am I not the Almighty's brother-in-law?" The schnorrer left the house with more than he bargained bargain-ed for. Origin of Nun's Headdress. Very few, persons, says a French paper, know the origin of the headdress head-dress which so many nuns wear, and which hides so much of their faces. It was formerly the custom for convents to send nuns to the various cities and towns for the purpose of collecting alms, and as a rule two nuns, on old and the other young, went to each place. They wore small caps and were popularly known as "SwaJows of Lent." ' On a certain Ash Wednesday two of them succeeded in obtaining admission admis-sion to tne King's palace in Paris and though the monarch and 'his courtiers were at dinner, they did not hesitate to solicit alms from them. One of the nuns was very pretty, and the young nobles who were feasting cast such bold glances at her that she bjushed with shame, whereupon the king rose from the table, and, taking his napkin, folded it in two and placed it on her head in such a man-mer man-mer that it consealed her blushes. Ever since that day, it is said, this kind of headdress has been worn by nuns. , Bound to Be Right. "Years ago, up in Solon, there dwelt a man who was always on the safe side of a statement. Many of the older residents will remember the quaint old gentleman who never incriminated in-criminated himself by a bold statement. state-ment. "Every morning, as regular as milking milk-ing time the old fellow hobbled to the window, or to the open door and scanned the heavens critically. Then as he returned to his seat by the stove, he'd remark philosophically; "'Well, M'randy, guess it's going to rain to-day or tls it ain't a-goln' tg ain!"'- -Lewir.tcn Journal. How an abscess in the Fallo pian Tubes of Mrs. Hollinger was removed without a surgical operation. "I had an abscess in my side in the fallopian tube (the fallopian tube is a connection of the ovaries). I suffered untold misery and was so weak I could scarcely get around. The sharp burning pains low down in my side were terrible. My physician physi-cian said there was no help for me unless-I would go to the hospital and be ope rated on. I thought before that I would try Lydia I Pinkham's Vegetable Compound which, fortunately, I did, and it ha3 made me a stout, healthy woman. My advice, to all woman who suffer with any kind of female trouble Ls to commence taking Lydin K. Pinkham's Vegetable Cmyaaud-at Cmyaaud-at once." Mrs. Ikjv. S. IIollixokr, StiU'ideO, OhlO. $5000 forfeit if original of about letter proving genuineness cannot be proiuzesl. It M ould seem by tliis statement state-ment that women would save time and much i kness if they would get Lydiu 11. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound at o-.iee, and also write to 31 rs. Pinkliaiu at Lynn, ?Iass., for special advice. ad-vice. It is free and always helps. No other person can giv such helpful advice as Mrs. Pinkliam to women who are sick. The Majesty of the Law. A Melbourne juror refused to serve on the ground that he had just got work after three months' idleness, and would lose it again if he failed to appear. ap-pear. The judge frowned, fined the offending juryman a penny, and paid the coin himself. I In Winter Ura Alien's Toot-Ease. A powder. Your feet feel uncom- i fortable. nervous and often cold and I damp. If you have sweating, sore feet or tight shoes, try Allen's Foot-Ease. ! Sold by all druggists and shoe stores, 1 25 cents. Sample sent tree. Address I Allen S. Olmsted, Le Roy, N. Y. RELICS OF DARKER TIMES. Ignorance in Many Forms Still Work Mischief. All England has been indignant at the crime end at the insufficient punishment pun-ishment of a mother who punished her (laughter brutally for a '"bad habit." Almost every one can remember such an illustration of punishing children for being ill which occurred in his I neighborhood or family during his childhood. The fact arouses the ; thought that the old-time punishments i of the insane, of the aged, etc., are by j no means past. To every oculist's office are frequently bi ought the pitiable piti-able victims cf stupid school teachers who are still often puEishing children for the astigmatism, myopia or hyperopia hyper-opia which has prevented them from seeing figures on the blackboard or from studying diligently, or from being as bright-minded as the teacher wishes. We know of one railway superintendent superintend-ent who punishes his men who are growing presbyopic by discharging them if they wear glasses. One wonders won-ders if the detestable superstition of the evil eye, and the horrible punishment punish-ment inflicted on it3 supposed possessor, posses-sor, has not arisen because of strabismus. strabis-mus. American Medicine. STATUS OF RUSSIAN WOMEN. Peculiar State of Affairs in the Empire of the Czar. We think that Russian wemen are far behind American end English women wom-en in business and professional emancipation. eman-cipation. Yet in St. Petersburg you can see one of the finest medical colleges lor women in the world, and quite as many women doctors flourishing as in London. The pictures one gets cf Russian prison life from Tolstoi and George Kennan are terrible and revolting. But Russia has a model prUon at Archangel, Arch-angel, ona of the fines; in the world. Again, from Tolstoi and from Gorky one sees the pmants utte. ly without liberty, without hope. But every village vil-lage has its mir," or village council, where the advanced doctrines of lucal option and womeu suffrage are carried out, two things long fought for unsuccessfully unsuc-cessfully in England. ' 1 IN NO HURRY TO WORK. Young Man Had Faith in the Ability of His Father. Judge Morgan J. O'Brien of New York was recently chatting with a Harvard student, a son of a prominent business man and a close friend of the judge, about his career at college. The youth complained that, owing to his "paltry allowance of but $3,tnH) a year," he was getting heavily in debt. The judge condoled with him and then remarked: "I suppose after you are graduated you intend to enter into business?" "WcCl, no judge," replied the youngster; young-ster; "not as long as father has his health." a -a a Miod This. It make s r.o difference ' -m whether it is chronic, acute or inflammatory Rheumatism of the muscies or joints a a a a a-a- it-a it-a Cr Cr O & lacobsOil cures and cures promptly. 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