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Show - " v , Uhw ' Cheeltj t'rricit Got. Trouble. 1 j . moseyed. ar amusing incidents for railway travehng S tunnels are responsible. l-- traveling men related he'otkr day: "The said he, "on a s in-''l- ,d Col-tunne- ls are quite nu-- f with her matron, irming occupied a Mat in the "lite her was her colored L traveling bags. . The 'irkling eyes, exuberant Vivacious spirits attracted ofahandaomo young man . gpat just back of the By his attention to in ! an ac-it- h joon scraped up as the and the mother, essaying to make hima was lie her. to Viable that he as man and thought his elation impression; ! an of it. The lady, dreaming apparently pleased with i acquaintance. 15y and by, L gpproached an unusually the gay young man leaned fihispered something in the For an instant she was Lk and her eyes flashed I ltion. A moment more and features. She IJ ted np her that seemed to jome reply She chatted Tery much. f, arse about several matters tun-'- j y the train reached the few moments the train daylight again, but tho nurse had changed seats, l looked amazed, ry disconcerted, the colored the young dazed. 'Jane, said the been doing? jt bavo you nurse. Yes, responded the said ted a tone the mother, in the attention of all .in your collar is .id bonnet smashed, jour aing her head for a moment turning round to the nice This man kissed replied: ie train u as passing through The young man oe.eupied during the rest of his jour-ag- o ho-.- v 'bee 1 E1 Herald. . ,tr J loes. She was at the circus last dontchcr remember? "Ya-as- . It ain't a ness, though. a good like- - Jury, aeK Action lteoKoo. "I wish you'd John, year-v- ery give up writing jokes stud ienelopo. 'Why dear?'1 They arc the laughing stock of the Mum-ecommunity. Weekly. ANIMATED"' LAMPLIGHTERS nouucca ins decision,' ana' imcftiua:o' for money to the winner, who thanked him with the inquiry: I say, cant you In tho days of our grandfathers lucl-te- r put it in my pocket for me? . matches were not the common avti-l- e Organto Discs of the Heart, that they are now, and it is ouly a An investigation in Switzerland show a, few years ago that they were so ex- - that mortality from organic disease of tho heart decreases as the altitude of rhe habitation rises, and that it is freater in towns than in thu counry, How to Prepare Tlurmle, Amusement. Doric ' riaj-fu- l A SLIGHT CHANGE. 4 . MALS0LM& HUGHES. 'a ...( - i - 4 -- I.? DEALERS IN (BIKEIIEiBi&IL Tommy. Little Tommy was making a dreadful racket, playing that ho was a letting off steam, ringing loeo-motiv- e, etc. i Tommy," said his aunt, getting in front of him, you must stop this noise. Tommy stood perfectly quiet for a minute and then said: The engineer is waiting for the old cow to get off th track." Texas Siftings. as to cause substitutes to be largely used where possible. Many readers, says the New York Herald, reToo Suspicion by Half. member rolling up the leaves of their ; Bov. Jonas Clutterby (to his soatmato old copybooks, w hen boys, into and the mantel shelf in the on the train) llow fast wo travel kitchen of the old house in the country But uh, young man, have you ever hud its dish filled with nicely made ones thought of the flight of time? Think of of youth, tho golden ready to convey the flame from the the lleetiug hours sw iftly pass away? Have you that days to the or fireplace lamp candle. ' The youngsters of the present day over counted the minutes and auspiBattcrsby (unregenerato have no use for those articles uuless it cious) What arc you trying to do? bell Irate Father Now come right along may be to play a trick with them like mo a wateli? West Shore. with me. I'll allow no miserable book- the following: Take a strip of quite six about or worm of a r eight lit Talked Toe Hurt). to thrash a heavy writing paper, inches long and two inches w ido. With Mr. Ecpplier (playing crihbage) ooy of mine. Ill teach him a lesson he a common table knife curl this strip so What a Miss ffont forget for many days. very fine it will hxk like I'ig. 2, by drawing the Fassce! , paper between the thumb and edge of Miss 1nssce (playfully) A gift from the knife. my very first sweetheart, Mr. Ecpplier, Now carefully unroll the strip and when 1 was only fifteen, bend it on tlic dotted line shown in Fig. Mr. Ecpplier (with polite Interest)- -! 1 the inside of the roll outward, l.e Indeed! That is quite tho oldest crib-boacareful in bending not to take the curl I ever saw that Is er I mean out' any more than possible. The West Shore. t end of the strip will be in the shape of A Fractlcal Illustration) Fig. 8. Mr. nouson Iaitts Now, tako our After bending cut a slit along flic bend to w itlnn half an inch of each end. home industries, for example. Suppose Then ban to the person upon whom the supply falls off, wlmt happens? tlic trick is to lie played, of course not Why, the demand grows stronger, letting him sea any of the preliminary and Neighbor's Boy Mr. Lott, your wifa preparations, Li. fit a match and touch to the end of this lamplighter and set it says if you don't come home with those on fire. lVrlmps u better way would groceries right away she'll have to send be to liave one of the lighters, also, out and borrow something for supper. Fuck. without the slit cut in it, and light yours first and then the victim's. In a mo Willinff to OIiIIro. Father Did you lick this boy of mine Mr. John E. Cctt (at an amatenr this morning? musicale) Whats he singing? Teacher (with aqgelic smile) I did, Let Me Like a SolMiss Van Clef ' sir. dier Die." Father Well, I just came down to Mr. Gett If I had my gun with mo, he should be gratified. Iuek. say Im much obliged to you. You see I have an affection of the spine which No Krclprortty, has weakened me so that I am unable Father Tommy, why dont you gc to give him the necessary chastisement and see your little dead friend, Johnny when be needs it. Good-daJudge. ' Smith? i i. Didn't I'm One Then,. Tommy Because he wont come and see me when Tm dead. Judge. Tramp Don't call me lazy, madam.' ' assure you I take1 great pleasure in . Ala! Already! , . using the pick George, dear, will you Jove mo whefl' Lady Well, (heres' tme in tho barn I'm old? "What a silly question, Penelope. Of you cun use to clear the ice from that course I do." Harper Bazar. path. i Tramp It isn't the right kind, lady. of a kind do what pick Lady Why, ment the end will burn off and release you mean? Hertooth-pickA Boston the curled sides, which w ill fly back on Tramp to the hand of the holder as in Fig. I ald. cause him a lively jump. and The I.utei,t Plague. The trick is an amusing one and not Fashionable Dame (who summered in in the least dangerous, for the victim Europe) Stop that scratching: the au- docs not generally hold the paper long dience will notice it. ..vburned. to Husband (in a parquett6 eat) But 1 enough get EERNHARDTS TOMB. can't stand those fleas. Dame Bear it until the curtain falls, tlie Aclreaa and then go out between the acts. Then ,t la In Pore f.arhalxr, and It. Herself Decorate a on are will think only you people Mme. Sarah Bernhardt has already spree. N. Y. Weekly. had her coffin and her tomb made, says the N. Y. Sun. Adding Insult to Injury. The story about tho coffin was pubYou have Van Duscn (rejected) lished some years ago. It was a magmade mo desperate! My death will lie nificent receptacle, covered with silver. it your door, for before Tho actress had herself photographed out! lawns I shall blow my brains in it. the theres think don't I Oh! Amy A correspondent has just discovered The Doctor Let me fuel your pulse Life. of that! ilightest danger Mr. Canlaway her tombstone in the cemetery of Iere Suttenly, sah. It The Logic of Vouth. Laehaisc In Iuris. It is in an ont of the 'peah's t beat d harden jess whar 1 Dis is my right hand, way pluee, where tourists and ordinary brick done struck. Judge. visitors do not go, so that persons wish- ain't it, papa? Agricultural Itam. dear boy. Father Yes, my see A. I by the papers that in Kanmust bo my Den dis d the sas yield of corn is forty to the acre. wrong band? Boston Herald. Isnt that rather remarkable? II. Not at all; only It seems to me Secret of tli IJanlnoM that item Is upside down. "What is Fleecy doing since ho loft Upside down? What do you mean?" ? the Yes. My experience Is that the yield indications weather Oh, he's writing is atxmt forty acres to the corn. Get off to order for Western newspapers." my foot, please." Texas Siftings. ... Judge. pensive lamp-lighter- s, . . fill 3u;yl . MJ (onyawMincBo Boots, Shoes, Hats, Caps, Etc., Etc. j Main Street, SPANISH FORK. fcJPwwuiaiii, m school-teache- William crib-boar- rd 1 ill M. Thomas, DEALER IN Vegetables, Etc. (Mi Paid (of Fat (M yi and dhisksng. Bologne Fresh Every Day, 0Mmnou,. Spanish Fork, Utah. -- ? ' I-- c'8' '. Ilarpor's Bazar. Story from Harvard, lost a century since the cn ward of requiring the fres' e off their hats to the senio 1 yard was abolished, ego uber of the class of 179 J, wl became a prominent mer college faculty. In las fres neglected to perform this a cc to a senior whom heme upon ordered him to take o He did so. And now, aa off yonrs, or 1 11 knock yc jThe senior saw that it was e; r obey, but he went directly and t dWillard deference. complained Did he say 1 fxk you down if you didn 'ur hat? asked the presiden Then I advise you ahvnj off, for if he said so, he'll i t that time the freshmen ke on in the presence of senior Tgazine. roatrorerUlde Armament, jy I went into a drug-sto- i get a bottle of cough mi: ct a fellow nnmod Wagne he used to go to school wit impressed mo os being tl ol I ever saw. What mado yc In-Inde- ed! f cy FTe if cough t ir. was buying a bott mixture I was. Ha A lUDtuke. Active- -. Why, hello, "re ')B I Ml, at poliec headqua Detective Excuso me, bi don't think I liai f ; of your acquaintance. j'wtectivo-O- h, I see; I hoi N n", old fellow, for m u,at you were disguised.-oIost. I jeard; . Four-year-o- complain of lshcs I pi, , pudding."-Philadel- 'r then?" make pudding ho lm, baked pies, and s ,e nsjH ,m, wj,y j I JniI,rrlvr phia signal-service- j Of Course They Do. A die, ho cried suddenly, rd and pointing to a bed ers. ".See you not a royal drawbridge Ills raised Sec you not ig its guest? d then un empty throne iccn will sit? Tell me, e queen?" ,, she replied, carelessly. he sighed, would that , herself up proudly and fire. "Sir!" she exclaimed do you take mo for a -Judge. y,,u laugh hat are you was just laughing at? thinking about 'm have no "n business think lm"rsDont Boston Herald. - tm m"? 1 1 'hat ri'cn vour honesty, my boy." stammered the boy a the coin to the man and it's onlv five etnts, and i,f MttA. w hen tho lad returned he extra niokrl, with the 1 let it a her,, an see the co-n- inducement, gave a newsp him 0 cents to go ond got w id ln-- 1 whol. away with the TYf l Modern Improvement, TIow's this, Dauber? Youve painted Father Time with a mowing machine instead of a scythe?" Tliut'sall right. We artists of the modern school keep np w itli inventive progress," M unoy'a Weekly. Mrs. Tabby Don't coarse expression! Jar upon your nerves, Mrs. (labb? Mrs. Gabb You bet they do. Jury ;efnre the Fire, : they sat before the great while the wind without , Ms mill f. Hiimms, , Four-year-ol- ul" " hen FOR - ld ,v lor.Mi -- A IARAII ItKIiNHARDT'S TOMB. Matter of rlgure. No, sir," said the barkeeper, you dont get any more hero this time. see it will have to make a short You've had enough whisky for one nage. It is on the slope of a lull evening." i overshadowed by another tomb All right, sir," replied the customer, at size and ugliness. It bears the somewhat thickly. My trade doesn't t niiMivlii lloru amount to much. I ion! s'poso. It's about a couple o dollars a week, meblx, but The most remarkable thing about tho I've got friends. Bet yer life none o' tomb l that when this correspondent themll ever come hero again. Suy! saw it it was covered vvilli faded ho continued, pointing his Huger imto wreaths of box and violets, said pressively at the man U'hind the bar, have boon placed there by the trage"do you know what this tiling's going faded to cost dienne herself. The flowers are you? It'll knock you out of jiist in America Sd a week. That's over Mod year, und because of her long absence she will Hint's the interest on SHhOOd, It cost and Australia. It is supposed renew them as soon as she return. you ? 1, 0011, bgosh!" Tluit'ii all right, my friend," respondto Irlfc th. Entitled Ms ed the barkeeper; "if you and your Into went rmrr unexpectedly friends drop out It will bring ine about nd found twelve of liis lu borer 612 week In better trade. Say!" and suivastical Ua ng under tree. he pointed his linger straight at the would who red a doll of to Ue on man in front of the bar "do you know himself to tie tho laziest. Eleven wluit PI'J week is? It's over trton a one men jump'd up at onee, ouch That's the Interest on 513,000, year. Th ing his right to tho money. dm and I'd give Sio.ooo to have you stay r however, decided thut the You light who away from here, b'gosh! imp'd to t ho twelfth mun, out!" t'hleog Tribune. Ho au nuoi1 on the ground. Itiwj-rln- ONLY $2.00 PER YEAR. |