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Show THE SPANISH FORK PRESS. SSENTIALS OF iionw mun, huiA MERICAN UTAH. DANISH PORK. No mans Ignorance ever prevented tilm from giving advice. ' , for onr republic that there should ' (mZENSHIP, Happy the roan who baa a boy who wants to be taken te the circus. At some period of his career every man carries something in bis pocket Cor luck. Chauncey Depew is living evidence that matrimony Is not a cure for Great Britain will have to send Its young men to take a few lessons In yacht-buildin- On All Sides. "How about your book? Soma of your friends among the critics did it a good turn, I suppose?" "Huh! snorted the young author. "I guess they all did. "Indeed?" "Yes, you cant roast a thing thoroughly unless you give It couple of good turns." At no time does a man have a great- er respect for womankind than when his daughter gives him points on the way to bold her baby. Vice Consul probably Magelssen never expected to get headlines that were half as big or black. If money ceased to bring one the applause of ones fellows it would lose one of Its chlefest attractions. of Pitcher Rube Recent portraits ,Waddell seem to justify the action of the Philadelphia club In releasing him. If he could borrow a Yankee crew and a Yankee yacht builder Sir Thomas might be tempted to try again. The genius that devised the wlr less telegraph will find a way to keep the messages from being "pled" while In the air. HORRID MAN. Wgets Very Mean of Her. . "Mr. Case Just complimented lie said I reminded him of a Edna me. swan. He told me ones died fter they sang, and he knew many people who ought to do the same thing. May "Really. that swans always Cash Before Fame. "Why dont you try to write your name on the scroll of fame?" "My friend," said Senator Sorghum very earnestly, "I have never yet seen anybody tearing leaflets out of the scroll of fame and getting them cashed at the bank." The Why of It She (at the review grounds) What an Imposing figure Captain Borrows has! He Yes; naturally so. She And why naturally, pray? He Oh, hes always Imposing on his friends. Newport society Is now going to emEven ploy mlnstrols to amuse It monkeys, tigers and donkeys begin to pall after awhile. self-respe- She Will you kindly step off my train? He Certainly; but I should suggest that yours la the kind of train that ought to be run In two sections. OF COURSE. The Lesser Evil. "What you swearin about?1 qulred the farmer. "Why." snapped the disgusted between oaths, this machines broke down and I cant get It auto-nobllls- t, How time does flyt The young Jockey who rode the winner of the great Futurity race at Sheepsbead bay is named Grover Cleveland Fuller. to go." "Huh! Youre In luck. Last feller like you 1 seen round here got all broke up cause he couldnt git his te stop. Philadelphia Press. Sir Thomas Llptons pursuit of the cup Is proof that the race for dollars Is not the only Incentive of life. One may race to lose em and have lots of fun. Slow Recovery. "Lady, said he. "I aint no common beggar. Im de victim of a devastatin Are dat destroyed our house, an now Im a homeless wanderer. "Foor fellow!" exclaimed Mrs. Goodart, "heres a quarter. And whore was this Are? In Chicago, maam, back in 7L" A The price of coal Is not likely to go any higher because it Is now satisfactory to the producers. Of course the consumers have nothing to say about it. The xebrula is to replace the army mule because It is Immune to the bite of the tsetse fly. Dut has the zebrula entered the ring yet with the Jersey mosquito? A Rare Specimen. "Did you see anything remarkable while you were away? Yes," answered the sardonic citizen. "I saw a rural citizen who was willing to admit that this wasn't the first summer there had ever been mosquitos In his part of the country." Washington Star. The trotting horse Is here, and yet whonever the average man wants to express speeds he says, for Instance, "He was going it 2:40." two-mlnut- record-breakin- g In the cotirse of Instruction at the projected college of journalism the functions of that useful animal, the oiflce cat, should be clearly and ac" curately deflned. When a rich old man marries a young wife and expects her to keep his memory green later on be Is the victim of a greou goods game. Chicago News. home-mad- Mrs. Wise (reading) A horse can draw llftoen times his own weight Mr. Wise So can a mustard plaster. Same Thing. Mrs. Crlmsonbeak (at the ball game) "What does It mean, John, when a man at the bat throws the bat down and retires to the bench." Mr. Crlmsonbeak "Why It mean! the same as when a woman leaves the room and slams the door after her." e The runaway marriage of Lillian Russells daughter has served among other things to recall the inquiry once made by a perplexed philosopher: "Why do people marry Lillian Kerosene oil has risen agatn. The consumers might play even by going back to tallow candles were It not for the melancholy f act that the packing house combine has the tallow cornered. Manager Robert Grau certainly has courage of two kinds to offer to Mme. Mary Anderson de Navarro f 225.000 the for a series of readings United Statos, from Sh&kspere and other poets. 150 In A boy Is never so happy as when the family . is moving and he ran walk through the streets to his new house wearing a chair on his head. Thats the only way most boys can alt on a chair. Two more American heiresses, Miss May Goelet and Miss Gladys Deacon, are to become the wives of English duke In the near future. Its simply wonderful how the supply of English dukes holds out Had a Use for Him. Guest (at restaurant) "This ts the second time I bkve seen that fat bald headed old man walk out of here without paying for his meal.' Walter "Yes, suh. We let him eat here for nothing because he attracts all the Ales, suh. HE WASNT TAKING CHANCES. I The Place to Begin. Mrs. Strongmind Our society has appointed me chairman of a commit tee whose object Is to try to bring about a reduction iu rents. Mr. Strongmind Tm glad to hear It my dear. You can begin at once on my trousers." What He Wanted. First Boarder "I wish some benevolent monopolist would organize a hash trust?" Second Boarder "Why? Because Id like to First Boarder see the article out of the reach of the m axles. Judge. Spelled It Untie James had been Instructing h!s nephews tu the mysteries of Ro- man numerals. "Now, Frank." he aald, closing the book, "what does C-- l X mean?" "Aw," replied Frank, "thats dead easy. Six!" Senator Sorghum's View. 'There are always two aides to a The Berlin royal academy Is astonished at the mental force of rroL question," said the broad minded man. Warn Can you cook? "Thats true." answered Senator Miss Wlggs Sure. Mommsen, the historian, who recently alDo you play the piano and alng? toad a paper on the Inscriptions found Sorghum; "and the question must Wsggs ways be carefully atudled to ascertain Mlse Wigs No. among the ruins of Baalbek, Syria which aide Is going to pay the best" and yet he la only 76 years old. YVaggs Will you be, my wife? Stock In the company that la to Apprehensive. Nothing Doin', Doing Hla Best publish the new womens paper In Wlllto ara Dtgg "What doe that fellow SkinThat Indian agent has a New York la now offered to the pub- those poetical heavy sounds on the stairs? ner do for a living?" soul." lic. Have you any money that It That's only papa walking Madge IIo lives on Biggs hts "Nothing. "The one who robbed the savagea would not Inconvenience you to lose? In his Wft note the headline, "Cop Went on a Tear," In the New York Sun which used to be notod for Its correct, though always vigorous, English. Ever remark, asks the Atchison Globe, that thoso who become noted In the world are hard working people? Well, therss Harry Lehr. sleep. Willie (skeptically) Does-er-ht sleep with his boots on? d Great toss. "This drama," said the young thor, "is taken from the French." Well," replied the manager does No au- to whom it had been submitted, "I dont lellsve the French will over miss it" BITING In the Worlds Work. Austin Bierbower down the principles underlie American citizenship, which, be says, differs In several essentials from citizenship in other countries, and some peculiar duties arise from the difference which require specinl attention now when our institutions are and receiving a general strain through to special are subjected the attempt at expansion. An American, having a great country, has wide relations in his patriotism. He loves something great, which is important in the character of a fix his afpeople. When a man must to betends it small on the fections little him. One Is measured by wbat one loves. With our vast and opulent domain, we need never be ashamed of the object of our affection, but can be enthusiastic for our country without seeming ridiculous; which a Belgian or Portuguese can hardly be. The first characteristic of American citizenship Is a confident pride of coun-tr- y that goes parallel with love of country, a pride that Is well founded and honest: so that an American feels as an Amera satisfactory ican, and seldom gets anything but respect from others. He cannot be easily ridiculed, and he need not be sensitive about foreign opinions. A scoffer who would laugh at the United States Is like the simpleton who would ridicule the sun. Owing to our size, we are not often challenged to tight for our country, even In words, for most antagonists seem unworthy of us. Only three or four nations are ever compared with ours, and we need not fear the comparison then. The American can accordingly Indulge a generous toward the world without the usual temptations to Jealousy which characterize small peoples. A second feature of American citizenship springs from the fact that we growing country. Great as we are, we expect to be greater. Our eyes are turned to the future and our pride is founded on hope. It matters much whether one Is on the rising or declining side in his feelings, whether his enthusiasm Is a swelling or a receding tide. Americans are In the line of the world's movements, going In the direction In which things are enlarging. Our country Is to take part in nearly all events that are to come, and to act with the whole world as an arena. We have a career before us rather than behind us, and enter on battlefields yet to be won. We are in the line of permanent movements, too, and not of mere episodes. Our acts must have an influence that is to grow with the enlargement of the country nnd of the world's civilization; so that in making history, we are not building a fabric that is soon to fall, but one that will grow for centuries. A third feature of American citizenship results from the fact that our j country represents liberty nnd equality, so that In being proud of our coun-- j try we are proud of something good. In taking up the canse of the United States one takes tip the cause of right. MoBt countries represent tyranny or some form of inequality, so that their citizens, to be patriotic, must be unjust. In Europe they are committed to the interests of the Bourbons or the Hnpsburgs, nnd stand for the aggrandizement of privileged classes. We stand for the equal rights of all the people; and nothing can be better. Americanism is a sum of virtues, standing for a principle. Our flag has a meaning of which we approve. It Is demoralizing when ones nntlonn! sentiments are in conflict with ones private convictions. The liberals of most foreign countries are disaffected toward their national Institutions, so that many of their best citizens live not In the spirit of their country, but In hope of revolution. In America, on the other hand, loyalty s a virtue; the good are committed to our Institutions; and to be more of an American la to be a better man. Another circumstance affecting American clt!zenhlp Is the fact that our country represents progress. The traditions of onr fathrrs have little when pitted against our commonweight sense. The wot Ms best ideas have a chance to be put Into practice. Thought and activity are alike free. Old machinold ery, opinions, old Institutions are constantly passing awny, anil we ore In a country of revision. Americans are accordingly Independent and aggressive. Instead of being a led poo-P- it chained to precedent, they search for the unknown, rather than try to recall the forgotten. i d ' r the be nianv r f which exhaust the material make competencies for thousnl j" very rich , menace the and the wealthy, very poor turn the rich. All must ha" peteney or hope of it. Another duty of American ship is to adjust with like our political idea Withquallf7 social relations. a bet " 3 quaintance with men we THAI jJ H more alike. The workingn. rivals tLat of the iw'eh ligenee man, and the qualifications of tt1 tisan are everywhere recognizee culture. There are virtues in nJ which the ancient world die noJ Refinement, not exclusivenes, , to be the test of social distinct republic, which In all things elusive. One does not lose his J J ) ability In this country by others to be respectable, or de'l himself by mixing with many p Nearly every social problem that confronts us might be solved by. ply a return of the people to E and generous common sense would enable them to enjoy their sessions without a sacrifice oft or happiness, and.at the samemake such enjoyments more con The American aim is simply tt rc ? 1 i - fare of the race In which we ban listed a part of the race and are to stand as an example for all ott t. A Story of Disraeli, . Disraeli, who had never been public school or a university, had had reverence of this sort flogged him in his youth, as the folk reminiscence of him, recorded bji Dufferin, suggests: The elder Mr. Disraeli, beln? yet more celebrated than hla on mother had expressed a desire ( him. But the Introduction could be managed, inasmuch as at tha tlcular moment Mr. Disraeli had reled with his father. One fine a lug. however,' he arrived with father In bis right hand, go tor, in Mrs. Nortons drawing-roo- i Storeys Gate. Setting him down chair and looking at him as If be i some object of vertu of wbitl wanted to dispose, Mr. Dlsreall tc around to my mother and said k somewhat sententious manner, Blackwood, I have brought you father, I have become reeonciv him, my father, on two cond.b the first was that be should com. see you; the second, that he pay my debts. Author It Clipping Bnmo, that not long ngoarq took a journey of considerable for the purpose of Interviewing ir. literary light as to his next novel. On reaching the house he disco the author on a side porch earn; earnest conversation with a lltfif who had a large towel pinned a; his neck. The writer received U rather Itor cordially, but Is said It set-mo- sent-mlnde- Are you willing to foil me a your uext Important w. asked the reporter. The literary man clicked a pa shears and patted the boy on the f der. "We were Just talking about . you came up, he said. "Bob thl-ought to do it with a bowl, but 1 I can do it by my eye. What you advise? You see, bis mod ways cut It before, and shes awij now. Youths Companion. about H Why lie Celebrated. One of the professors at Corn' versity was born Ilf Canada. E j je, however, been for a long tlmH" dent of the United States, and b J dreu were born here. The Nvf ' j ' Times relates an amusing ill-' himself which the professor telling. Oue Fourth of July the pr1 eldest son bnd exploded, early h afternoon, all the firecracker tbjrfoi had provided for the day. The wanted his friend little nnd '. J so the hoy found his father and c j r for some money with which fievi new atock of fireworks. no "I will give you the money, Hr I If you enn toll me what It I111; n arc celebrating with all the e crackers," replied the father. "I can do that easy enough, -boy. "This is the anniversary day we licked you fellow." f Flml a Cava Full ot I( - narrlsou Martin, a carpenW- 4 discovered ft cave In Pocahont tjr, Va., containing an Inrxh1 supply of ice. By wlmt strang of nature the Ice was formed VV care Is not yet explained. built ft passageway from the the cave, which 1 high on the j a rugged bill, and Is marketing t ( over many miles of territory. Martin was prospecting hnt aimless way when he aw the the side of the hill. The openW deckled W i citizen-hi- p etod him so that be dU!y of Anw I H Is a patriotism. Nor Is this tlgate.. Ho let himself down and , f from above, some rope trees mfmn ,mEoan!mIty for land and AbJ ' A,norlct Patriotism terlug was astonished to ,un0 with in a vast nnt hall f of high ,,u nv Tin?.1!? ov! piled ninny blocks of e- -ot Ice., The Ice pile ofn J Germans, P,T Italians. Irish, Scandinavians, Afrl-can- far as he could see, and I ,u I Uilrese, Indians and Tagala. It for the needs of ft big city mnst be cosmopolitan. York World. American pa- - umwer.-N- cw sr 1, A wits." Diggs "lluh t No wonder ho has such a lean and hungry look." o unmercifully?" American "Yea, he wanted to make Lo, the clnrBnn!M,!mm7"ate poor Indian, a truthful statement directly .llf' to u ,0 "MF prln- cln i Vf m y 10 Too Early for an Opinion. 0,,p I'mdnes amt Note the Distinction. cclnl relations. We cannot have the First New York Clubman "Young wok deal- JL hnJ ircon:, in i?1 "l""1 lf ",y p Moneybags, who died the other day, tho ,n1'illtlve person. was a bachelor, wasnt he? reipoit. while ail cannot have tin. ami., i.wr" ,ni,WrrpJ the other wealth, rich and Second New York Clubman"! don't of manner, "'J" minv,,ilitMe, ns nin know. Ills wUl hasnt been filed yet" i am a dealer In second hand hooka." foMnlirr" i ignmnnt. wP bj giving all on upml chance, should, reduce i Sr ' d; Don't Ilovr elated a a scicntififf v aottie kind f music will kill toea, hut unfortunately tbro H sou te in llev that moqu!tM' UuW some kinds of tuusic. It I jj , i c j Journal, 1 The rtopoe Irtl" . -' The only Idiot that la nbulllfl' ,, less I tii,. mull who sit d(l'va v n a thing out wlih a woui8-Yolk Puna, J 4 |