Show I AT THE TELEPHONE i Mr Spoopcndykc Explains Its HFys terics to His Wife Now my dear said Mr Spoopen I dyke standing before the telephone and preparing to explain its mysteries and advantages ad-vantages to his wife Now my dear I this is goingto prove the most convenien thing we ever had in the house Whei I I want to talk to any one I just turn this I crank and say Hello hello l and the girl at the central says Hello hello land l-and I tell her who I want and she calls him up Now Ill ask for Mr Speckle wottle And Mr Spoopendyke turned the crank What does he say asked Mrs bpoopendyke cocking her head to onside on-side as a woman always does when her husband is trying to listen He dont say anything yet growled Mr Spoopendyke He aint like you He waits until he has important im-portant on his mind and then he says it Hello hello roared Spoopendyke giving tho crank a vicious twist and glaring into the enunciator with a vindictive vin-dictive look Now you keep that mouth of yours tied up or youre liable to lose it someday with which doleful prognostication Mr Spoopendyke rattled away at the crank and awaited some sign of life at the other end I suppose it is really that girls fault said Mrs Spoopendyke snuffing at the instrument as though she smelled the young lady from afar and found her no better than she ought to be I dont suppose shes there at all More likely shes gadding around somewhere Whatd ye want to talk just then I for howled Mr Spoopendyke Whats your measly object in breaking out with he conversational smallpox at that critical I cal juncture Dont you know she was i just beginning to talk and you made me lose her I tell you one thing added I tfr Spoopendyke with impressive solemnity if you dont shut your mouth nice in awhile the moths will get inhere in-here and make you trouble If shed only just commenced to talk you havens lost her replied Mrs Jpoopendyke wrinkling her nose Youll have no trouble will her if shes got started I Hello hello call up Mj Speckle rottle I bailed Mr Spoopendyke apparently ap-parently convinced by his wifes manner or his own experience There shes gone No use for me to try anything when youre around Another time I rant to talk through a telephone Ill takeover it take-over in a vacant lot Do you know of nything that will keep you quiet for a noment demanded Mr Spoopendyke his wrath rising as he contemplated his ill 1 usage Never mind the expense Just name the article I Why didnt you ell me when you referred me to your neasly old dad that I was proposing marriage to a dod gasted steam dictionary diction-ary rySay dear cant I talk through ltr cooed Mrs Spoopendyke anxious to disarm dis-arm her husband Is there anything you cant talk squealed Mr Spoopendyke beginning to realize that there was something about the telephone that he didnot thoroughly understand When I get a telephone for you the diaphram will be of doubled and twisted wrought steel witl railroad tracks for wires and I dont believe that will last moren an hour and a half Hello hellooo l wake up and call up Specklewottle dog gast ye1 and Mr I Spoopendyke rattled away at the crank until his arm ached 1 Be patient dear You said she gone 1 and its a long way around to Mr Specklewottles house Perhaps he isnt home and shes waiting for him Thats the way it works eh shrieked Mr Spoopendyke glaring at his wife It took you to get hold of it I When I call that girl she goes home to dinner and along in the evening she goes around to Specklewottles house and I brings him here in a hack That your idea of it Or praps youve got some sort of a notion that she runs the wire through Specklewottle turns on the cur rent and slams him right up here through the side of the house That your idea Well she dont and she dont break her back trying to make a dod gasted idiot of herself like some women I I think I know how it works faltered fal-tered Mrs Spoopendyke You say Yellow yellow1 Theres the combination yelled Mr Spoopendyke You got your work in that time 1 Why didnt you tell me I was bringing this thing home to the inventor in-ventor Whatd you want to let me stand up here and explain this thing to the only comprehensive brain that ever tackled it for Youve got it With what you know now and what youve got to find out you only need a wig and a lawsuit law-suit to be the whole science of electricity I tell ye this is the way it works and Mr Spoopendyke brought the box a kick that splintered it See work he demanded de-manded pulling at the wires until he cut his hands Watch it while I convey your regards to the other lunatics I and he danced on the remnants of the instrument instru-ment and smashed the fragments against the wall Never mind dear0 remonstrated Mrs Spoopendyke puttering around after him and trying to soothe him When we want Mr Specklewottle again well just send a servant around after him Thatll be much nicer than trusting to a nasty wire and I know that there was a draught through that box for I could feel it as soon as it come in the room Oh you could feel it l roared Mr Spoopendyke rather wondering how he was going to account to the company for the destructisn of his box If I had sensitiveness and an onion Id your orchid and dod gasted hire out as a sarcasm Mr with this culminating his crushed his hat over ears Spoopendyke and rushed around to Mr Speckle wottles to see what had better be done about the matter I dont care murmured Mrs Spoop as she flopped down on the floor endyke to pick up the pieces of the wrecked tele box Hell not have any oppor phone tunity for standing up here and talking to that girl until his legs are tired and satisfac expression her s with this sage lii nomAnt u1L f + eriment tion over the result ot tne experiment Spoopendyke broke off the ends of Mrs to the bent wires and laid them away crimp her hair on |