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Show ~¢ 4 energy, desperate rich people built their homes at higher and higher elevations. In town, simple acts like crossing the street became dangerous. At the crosswalk where the Rail Trail begins, for example, drivers targeted pedestrians the way New York City cab drivers run down jay walkers. The city erected bright green signs asking drivers to yield. If nothing else, the . hideous color should have puzzled them into slowing. Instead, they accelerated By Alex Wells ike other New Agers, the denizens of the Mud Room have long believed the Albertson’s parking lot to be a negative-energy vortex—a place where bad feelings, negativity, and other assorted negatives are concentrated. Negative-energy vortexes can make otherwise normal people homicidal. For every negative-energy vortex, there’s a positive-energy vortex like the one like bulls seeing red. The negative energy kept bubbling up—from a vortex 30 feet west of the south- in Sedona, Ariz. This one-to-one ratio neu- tralizes the earth’s charge. In positive-energy vortexes, people build giant sun dials, ernmost cart bin, we think— dress like swamis, and sometimes clear landing strips for spaceships. Positive-energy vortexes turn otherwise-homicidal people into buttercups. | The Albertson’s parking lot is noteworthy because it is one of the world’s most negative negative-energy vortexes. The lot is rife with signs of doom: Range Rovers sit outside the front doors, abandoned, engines idling, like pirated boats in the Bermuda Triangle; drivers intercept each other as if in a demolition derby; and shop- The answer for triathletes who hate wearing Speedos and swim caps: kayaking one at the registers. No one. We looked around; there was no one in the store. The electric doors hung open; beyond them, darkness gaped. A dank breeze blew in. We thought we were being set up, like characters in an existential play. ping carts career solo across the parking lot. In time, Albertson’s became so strange There’s more strangeness inside: Muzak versions of “Helter Skelter” and “Stairway to Heaven”; free samples that never, ever change; couples arguing loudly about breakfast cereal; and those ee electric doors. The negative energy at Als eak ean’ s isn’t new. Ever since it was Skaggs Alpha-Beta, bizarre things have happened there. Once, one of our cars mysteriously rolled across the parking lot while we were shopping. that we began shopping at Dan’s, even ing on a rental car. The weird thing was, we Another time, in the middle of the nigh we unisleeSeen, only to find n no ne semen Other mountain bikers were rude, other hik- ers were clueless, other dogs had bad attitudes. Horses suddenly seemed big and _ problematic. We became grouchy, even in the forest. Our bad mood gave us a Stalinist appreciation for rules. We couldn’t wait to lecture about trail etiquette, to write some- thing like this: “Rules state that cyclists should yield to hikers and everyone should yield to horses. You idiots! Rules state that cyclists going downhill should yield to cyclists climbing. You idiots!” But we realized rules wouldn’t save us. Not with the waves of negativity lapping higher, submerging our favorite places. Only courtesy would. Like a cross to a vampire. Like a rusted out Celica to a shiny new Range Rover. : Like a Ne aon to = peo es down into town, toward the Albertson’s parking lot and eventually, back into the vortex itself. lt wouldn’t be that hard. At first, people would need only be courteous on the upper trails; they could still be jerks on the lower trails and in town. Later, as the waves of negativity receded, they would have to be courteous in more areas. First on the lower trails. Then on upper Main Street. Then lower Main Street. Then in Ye Olde Town. And so on. In the end, they would have to be courteous throughout town, which, we admit, is asking a lot. If people needed to vent dnd be negative, they could always go to the vortex in the Albertson’s parking lot, 30 feet west of the southernmost cart bin, and be rude or unflattering there. Or they could find themselves a new vortex, in another town. his year’s Pedal/Paddle/Trail Run Triathlon will be as casual as the Mountain Times dress code. Rather than wade through the red tape required to organize an official race, Curt Katmull, the event organizer, has opted this year to hold an informal event, beginning 8 a.m. Aug. 20 at Wasatch Mountain State Park in Midway. Katmull plans to use this event to lay the groundwork for a larger, betterorganized triathlon next year. To participate in this year’s 20-mile bike ride, sixmile paddle on the Provo River, and 10K trail run, individuals must be sponsored by a sports organization. For more informoation, visit the web site at trailrun.com or call (801) 360-1RUN. Send your tips, insights and ideas to the Mud Room, PO Box 1741, Park City, 84060. Or call Alex Wells at 655-9202 Pat eatetatasatnsehaletosaSotetenatitohah seacieetatntat peasotete Seem eens Seaneamee But Can’t Find! FAVORITE SINCE 1987 Sandwich Shop! SALT LAKE CITY Broadway Centre - 3S. State 578-1752 - Fax: 578-1750 NORTH 985 SALT N. 294-8186 Site eb Cod s Coy Mercantile 558 Main St.» P.O. Box 715, Park City, UT 84060 Reyes LAKE Redwood - Fax: CITY Road Serving the . Internet Since 1994 Web starting S24 3 per 294-8187 PARK CITY 1400 Snow Creek Drive 649-5678 - Fax: 649-2749 www.arianet.com at (801) month 571-0016 LIN LOCALS £| 8661 ‘9 LSNONV| % noticed that everyone but us had become idiots, just like on the roads. and even though the food cost more. Dan’s is:clean, we said. The people are helpful. Look how big the staff is. Still, we felt as if we were running from something. And we could not escape. Sure enough, the negative energy soon brimmed out of the Albertson’s lot and spilled in concentric waves over town. First, were pretty sure we had put it in park. first waves reached us, we though we could never find things there, people began driving meanly on the roads around the store. Then the meanness submerged Old Town and Park Meadows and lapped up against the hillsides surrounding town. Aware of the swelling ides of Pesciye When we came out, it was far away, lean- until the hillside homes had been swamped. Even Hummers became stuck in ait. | Finally, it swamped the trails and poured into the Mud Room itself. When the Only courtesy would repel negative energy. By being polite on the hillsides, people could begin pushing the negativity back |