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Show THE P VYSON CHRONICLE. PAYSOX. UTAH t m . LIGHTS OF NEW YORK Games in Flowers ancl fixations f ! Dr. Hartley B. Alexander, noted philosopher and author, has been visiting New York, lie told me of a man and bis wife he heard arguing on the brink of the Grand canyon. It seems the man was a contractor, and that he was bent on demonstrating to tils seeptieal better half that the canyon could be filled up, nnd estimating the number of truck loads of Stone ami dirt that the Job would reTo those who have seen the quire. place, It would appear that the man was taking in a lnt of territory all Mats ot unusual questions. One day, In the midst of such a conversation, a man said: names "Mv WhatS SpidervvhlsUe. youis?" K uiiler, replied the archeologist Gee: said the m.i. What a funny name ! VALTER TRUMBULL Is perhaps boo years old, work of excavation has to be carried on with tbe most minute care. Doctor Kidder was engrossed In his work when he suddenly became conscious of a tourist peering at him Intently from the ground above. "Did ha die there, asked the visitor breathlessly, or did he fall In?" It was at another site that Doctor Kidder was down In a trench, excavating a skeleton. When a skeleton SAVE REHEARSING Two women on a bus were talking so loudly that one couldnt help hearing what they said some seats away. One whs extolling the desirability of living In a certain part of the West. She said that tier Sen would not live anywhere else and named a small should excuse me speaking said the magnate. I think It Is terrible and lousy. That's all right, said the author. "I alweys have henrd you were a great fellow for Innuendo." You out, xv ' v' X ., .' k ."...y... s ,. . s ,V -- .v ( H rntfCMIftOW ...iMVfnc. -- ot -" isaw Corey Ford, author of several books and a very prolific all around writer, Is highly Incensed. A publisher, of whom he had never heard, wrote to him saying that he bad happened to see an article if Mr. Ford's In a e and that If he ever wrote anything else he would be glad to consider it quired her companion. lie Is an undertaker, aid the woman, "and once he got five Jobs In one night." These doctors of philosophy and soignee tell some funny stories. When Ir. A. V. Kidder of Carnegie Institution was doing some archeological work at Pecos, New Mexico, tourists to stop and evince great curiosity in the operations. They asked She The booking agent said my act would be a wow if I could get a Will you Join the guy to act dumb. act? Ho Slip d ;, steaks, roasts or chops. A bit on the end of a toothpick dropped on the hot platter will give a most allusive flavor to the gravy. Every cook who enjoys her work will find new things dally to enhance flavor of foods. Butterscotch Squares. of a cupful of but-of brown sugar ter with one cupful Cool. well blended. and smooth jotii well. beat and Add two unbeaten eggs of a package of dates, Add of a cupful of nut meats, cupful of flour, one teaspoonftea-- i ul of baking ponder and with a fourth tea-- ' spoonful of vanilla Mix and spread In spoonful of salt. t pan lined with heavy waxed paper. Bale la a moderate oven for thirty minutes. Remove from the pan and Pickled Cherries. Take ripe firm cherries and wash well without stemming. Place In pint jars with one teaspoonful of salt, fill the jars with good vinegar and seal. The vinegar is used cold. one-hal- f (. cool. cut In squares when 1931. Western Newspaper Union.) Raisin Cookies. Why me? It would save a lot of cupfuls of raisins and chop together one cupful of butter with two cupfuls of sugar, add two well beaten eggs, the raisins and two tablespoouf uls of sour cream, one of grated nutmeg, two tablespoonful of cinnamon, two teastablespoonfuls poonfuls of soda, with (lour enough to make a soft dough. Hake carefully Cream 10-Ho- Los Angeles. Within a year the record between Los Angeles and New York will be clipped to ten hours, Frank Americas Capt. Hawks, premier speed Ing of the skies, prer dicted. Hawks aspires to set a seekrecord and Intimated he ing a plane with a cruising speed of at least 220 miles an hour and preferably 240 to 2.T0 miles. ten-hou- - CHASED silver may be polished by It thoroughly with whiting, then washing with a little turpentine and soap. Iollsh with cham- should scorch, set It Immediately In a vessel of cold wnter. Let It stand five or Id minutes and the scorched taste und odnr will dis- ois. appear. If you do not use a double holler, and oatmeal or any other article of slice of bread In the doughnut box will keep your doughnuts soft and light. ,4.4..J.4,4.4.4.4.4.4.4.4,4.4.4.4.4.4.4.4.4.4.4.4.4.4.4.4.4.4.4.4.44444444'i4444444,444t,444,44, If h lth at the University of California at Los Angeles on the rifle rang a series of telegraphic matches with other colleges In many parts of the country. Coed sharpshooters get Racing Drivers in Dead " Heat, Given Same Fine 0- K. .. l'1 Kansas City, Mo. Two motorists, accused of racing through downtowu streets, were brought before Judge Thomas V. Holland. Who won the race? his honor asked. It was a tie. the arresting police " to change his petition In tlle afternoon he .. his pulls as follows: 'This is Zapp." ?! made sang the operator. Id 11 I I !! 11X11 ., The Childrens Corner EDITED by DOROTHY EDMONDS 0ace- - t aPPy Moon Legends tron9 Hearts Tears. suns and moons and was (lying over the many started S:;l'osed to take care K"me one else had ara of "il,er In a valley. ' Ult Rtl g So "'t and he Na-qu- Be found Strorig nonntain mine ter. little v StS ReaasLT8 ,teP- - It n i Heart sitting on bat Is the r asked Heart was Dt little. K'md si('d by tlwt he ni0,lntaln la one n" y calpd hirn that ilea-- t was his son. mat-one- V could dkpWoncryini yii,iStr0nS Uov .. c I'"1 Ure: He did not cn Heart 8 lake said Strong Heart 'eSid,S StrinS making a small S(e iear?r, re "How DlBriJ. iiron. ,,P ' ' There are MXao,,' h?!'!rn r h.- - r,".1';, (! a: Strong Heart an eagle feather on which to dry his eyes. with I cant play hide-anthe other boys and girls. I am too big to hide behind a tree, and when I hide behind a mountain they do not want to climb it to look on the other side," and Strong Heart started to cry again. Well, let me see," said Let me see. Why dont you make a teeter-totter- ? said I made a nice teeter-totteand they wouldnt Strong Heart, play on It They said It was too high." He pointed to a long rock that lay across a tall rock. Then he started to cry once more. Balancing rock It Is called today, but once It was Strong Hearts plaything. His tears made a large lake. I can True, true. said Na quil. see that ordinary hoys and girls will not do for your playmates. You want some one who will step over mountains. You want some one who can teeter-totte- r on the tallest rocks. Your playmate most he beautiful Hmnim, It seems you want the d ago. Xa qu.i aarth on buMno" oAheUlrainaS To - the Associated Newspapers) 8 r Ice ) starting practice Fish Had Human Teeth Iecos, Texas. Sheriff E. B. Kiser Is exhibiting a mounted fish with two teeth resembling those of a human being. He said he found a dog dragging tlie fish near the Iecos river. Z a ame I! by Axtell, Kan. To discover a snake in u elotties box and later find u gold ring in the reptile was the experience of Mr. and Mrs. Claire ('enable. Mrs. ((inutile found the snake when she put her hand In a box to take out some clothing. Her husband killed It, then cut It in pieces. A flattened ring fell nut of the body. It was brought to a Jeweler to have it rounded. ?! One morning Policeman Zapo-! I! toeki went before Judge William i '. Lindsay in the Superior court ,0 I'l'iy with," moment, r,n I Phiy with ng Heart, looking '"M 5 Hide and gn-''quil, giving 0 Neither driver proman answered. tested the decision of t lie officer of the law. Frizes, therefore, should be equal, the judge commented, and the race should he run again. So he gave each driver five days and told them to wheelcompete again, this time In a barrow race at the municipal rock quarry. tonight. Are you that one?" me to get going Htnmmtn, Ill see," said Na quil. And Na quil clapped Ms wings. Then Kee Yay, who is Na quits helper, came down out of the chuds. What is It? asked Kee Yay. What time does the Moon (omo up tonight? asked Na quil. It Is a new moon." said Kee lay. "She will probably he late. Please wake me when she does I am going come up." said Moon to the Heart to give Strong Na-qui- play with. "Would that Kee said be wise?" Another Add and Subtract Puzzle r, Moon." C 111.. Dangerous Ive always believed That would Strong Heart be nice. Na quil, said There Is a new moon in looking out for number one. "Yeah." And since my wife became that number Im more careful tlinn ever uliout looking out for number one." Cincinnati Enquirer. Salt Lake City Directory NH IIOl.a CK18MON Laboratory 129131 8. West Temple Kt., Halt Lake City, Utah. P. O. Boa 16(6 Mailing envelopes and prices furnlahed on request. Used Pipe, Fittings & Valves Newlj threaded and coupled for alt purposes Monsey Iron and Metal Co. TOO So. Bni West Jt Started How By IVewton The? flood. It came to pnss, however, that the rain did fall, and how! Am! old man Noah, looking out of his huge craft, saw Ida scoffer holding on to one of the projections of the ark. his chin The Red children tell time by They would not like It. The North Wind tells time by the Moons. He would not like to lose n Moon. Ools Kah Rtee would not like for you to take the Moon out of the sky. He is " I am sorry you do not like my plan, Kee Yay, said Na quil. for I am going to do It Just the same. Kee Yay opened his mouth Then he closed It. At last he said, I will call you at moor. rise. Now what shall we do about this lake of Strong Yay. the Moon. barely above the water, begging to be taken on board Noah, according to the story, spent a playful half hour having fun with the queer scoffer's preparations to get ori hoard tmaily refusing him admittance, whereupon the man swam off exclaiming: I don't believe there's going to bp min h of a shower, anyway! While, of course, this is only a story, still it i to this alleged Biblical incident that we owe the use of the expression not much of a shower In American politics, In a derisive sense, with reference to an opponent who attempts to minimize an overwhelming defeat. f H;i D !1 Syndicate ) WNU Borvlce NOBODY HOME Hearts tears? OTEL TEMPLE SQUARE 200 Tile Baths 20 0 Rooms Radio connection in every room. RATES FROM 1.50 Juit oppoutt Mormon TabtmacU ERNEST C. ROSSITLR, Mgr. Yet, Mora Than That hep cun rise with three times Its own weight, snys an Insect ologist. Yes, and sit down with about SOU times Its own w eight. Tliomaston '1 lines. A It All Help. Is watching a ball game eier- 1m? LouisLung exercise, nidear. ville Courier. Annoying My husband talks In bis sleep," Does that annoy you? Yes, I cant mnke out what he la saying. PILES File sufferers from Frotrudlng, Bleeding, Itching or Blind Files, cun now get relief from very first treatment by using Q.R.Pile Ointment Q. R. (Quick Relief) File Ointment is a new remedy for tha treatment of pile sufferers no matter bow long afflicted, guaranteed to give satisfactory relief or money refunded. Ileforp placing this pile ointment on t lie market for sale. It was put to the acid test In both mild and severe cases, never failing to produce wonderful results. If you are troubled with plies, do not experiment. Get Q. II File Ointment. If your druggist does not carry It In stock, till out the blank below and mall It to Q. R. OINTMENT MFG. CO. 373 South 5th East Salt Lake City, Utah Q. It. Co., frowned. Na-qu- Halt Lake City, Utah Upvest Hotel Jean Not Much of Shower tell a story that while Noah building his ark. lie was visited daily by one of bis neighbors who would come to spend a playful half hour having fun with the queer old mans preparations for a great - Salt Lake City's Killed in Clothes Box This Is Zapotockl. Zapotockl Zapotockl ci m ho? Zapotocki Zapotockl. Operator I didnt quite that. I Preferred Clatt Much of the bnmboo furniture Is Improved by washing with cold water and soup. The wicker furniture of the unstained variety should be scrubbed regularly with the brush. And If kept dean In this way It will maintain its state of beauty and usefulness much longer. Find Gold Ring in Snake this: ft A II Tlmmas F. Zapo-toctraffic policeman for, the last six months 1 at Monroe street and Wabash .. avenue, makes a routine report to a police operator every hour. His conversations over the patrol box phone used to run like u STORES 4 Lydia Stravvn of Roanoke, Vu., drove 21) miles to a hank and was fully prepared to tell the officials there of the plight she and her husband were in. "Sir, said she to the president, my husband Is a farmer Mrs. Strawn reports that the president arose, grasped her hand and shook It warmly, saying: Let me congratulate you, madam. Thank God that he Isnt a banker." Colliers Magazine. food ( Chicago a Zapotocki AT.? Alt DRUG. Mrs. If a can of puint has to he left open, stir It thoroughly, so as to dissolve all the oil. then (111 up with water. When It becomes necessary to use the paint tour off the water nnd you will find it as fresh as when first opened Cuts Phone Call Time Operator-W- ; PRODUCT WNU Service. lldj OZeighborJays Traffic Cop !! Bell Mmllcftt.) 1931 ur the Steak. Dip steaks bofoie broiling in good com or other vegetable oil, they will be much more tender and a delightful brown. Add a piueh of asafetida to v McKesson , Office end Hawks Predicts Trans U. S. Flights To Improve mum Pain Neuralgia ASSAYER3 AND CHEMISTS for they burn e.iMly. "i There Is a woman whose one parlor trick Is her ability to Imitate perfectly the cries and gurgles of a baby. But where she has the most fun with this accomplishment is In a sleeping car. She has the porter and other travelers searching the place for the supposed Infant In distress. I Coeds Take High Rank as Sharpshooters Stew two fat Headache mng-azin- . , in Flowers. will be the subject of the tournament Mtlow am (;iim.5 The pageant will portray the coin-- I jn pasydena. roses on M" is being announced, in the photo- and (1liral ttont, It It Is the only place to go," she said. Well, yes, the days are hot there. Yes, some of the night's are hot there, too. But my son wouldnt think of living anywhere else. And it Is a great town for business." What Is your son's business? In- j' Breali' a cold . m. 6lhouttt Drive it awayinM2hours.iJ ... Relieves j", ; . . An author who had been called to Hollywood actually met one of the heads of the movie firm for which he was supposed to be working. He asked him what he thought of his story. tow n. STOP YOUR COLD 4 IN 6 HOURS WITH " t This Is no place at all for n lake Let me see. There are mounta n all around the lake. No use to t p the earth up to let the lake run out Na t quil stuik a hngir in ate tho.rgi t. Uniminm, salty. jut as Im afraid Kee Yav. we will Imvc to leave this cuMy lake liete liiwp Is a And to t! li.nc uni o of f Hie liodn.L n t Gentlemen : Inclosed find $1.00 T. O. Money Order for One tube of Q. K. File Ointment to be mailed prepaid to Name 1 Add and auMrart fn. n pi and ( : n d 1. gron (antral ora rcitly the If it hn h ft r G - '(- 1101 d Fl!th,rs f !i form the fojr avl fir-- t group will the central word. ri p r f - ( M i tlii cor rnrr a of v 11 i . I i f 11. q j v M ll ci He -- Let s go into tins cafe and get mcthing to eat. .she Its closed, dear, the proprietor u H be out. Dont you see the sign Home Cooking? F. O. Address On conditions that if I am not satisfied witti reMilts obtained, I am lo receive money back upon returning tube to jour lahora- toiy. |