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Show CONSTERNATION AT TRIBUNE OF- ! E uirnard Heimrick, is the name or a man who lives at Sugar. He is a believer be-liever in revealed religion and so in-ene in-ene are his convictions that ho Is ro-earded ro-earded W his friends as being eccentric eccen-tric to tho borderland of cranklsm. B Barnard Heimrick docs not like the way the Tribune has been cartoon-inK cartoon-inK and lampooning President Smith, ami recently ho sat down and indited an eplstlo In which he did a bit of prop-hceying prop-hceying himself, informing tho outill that conducts tho destinies of the paper pa-per if they didn't stop it tho anathema niaranatha of tho Infinite would bo brought down upon their several and rnllectivo heads. This communication had no effect I upon the Trlbuno outfit, so 13. Barnard H Heimrick determined to call and see why things were not remedied. Armed with a think tank full of pious thoughts, religious admonitions nnu D moral maxims ho wended his way to if tho sanctum. Announcing his presence I ho expected to bo received as other people are received, but It appears that every member of the staff had been Informed of his letter and supposed he had come to clean out tho office. Tho edltor-ln-chlof happened to bo away from the desk where he keeps his artillery when Heimrick entered, and, fearing lest ho might bo shot I down and loft weltering In bis goro before be-fore he could reach bis masked battery, bat-tery, ho decided to, and promptly did, execute a Hank movement toward the base of supplies, In the cellar. The paragraph man, who was stung by the 1 prickings of a guilty conscience, dived 1 under his desk and pulled down tho lid. Tho cartoonist, who Is small, young, and by no means pugnacious, took a trip down the north lire escape for tho purpose of seeing what sort of a night it was, while tho several guileless guile-less young men who write the alleged local news scattered in all directions. The managing editor fled to police headquarters and demanded that two baualions of officers be sent to the Trlbuno office, together with an am-bulanco am-bulanco and throe or four surgeons, for the purpose of gathering up and caring for the wounded and dying, and for tho protection of those not already slnln by the ruthless band of tho bad, bad, .Mormon assassin who was shooting shoot-ing up tho place. In the meantime B. Barnard Heimrick Heim-rick was having tho time of his lifo In attempting to got an interview with somo one. "Whero aro tho wicked and unregen-erato unregen-erato sinners who blaspheme tho names of the sorvnnts of God?" ho inquired. I "How wast thou not afraid to stretch forth thine hand to destroy tho Lord's anointed?" (Samuel II, 14.) "What alleth tboo now, that thou ai t wholly gone tip to tho housetops?" (Isaiah XXII, 1.) "All thy rulers aro lied together." (Isaiah XXII, 3.) "Thou shnlt bo cut down, Oh mad-nu'ii; mad-nu'ii; tho sword shall pursuo thee." (Jeremiah XLVIII, 2.) 'Tlecauso the enemy hath said against you, Aha, even tho ancient high places aro in our possession." (Eze-klel (Eze-klel XXXVr, 2.) What more E. Barnard Heimrick would havo said is not history because at this moment the galley boy came in and, noting something was wrong prevailed pre-vailed upon tho man from Sugar, who had just arrived at tho quotation: "The wicked lice when no man pur-suoth," pur-suoth," to take his departure. After ho had left the staff crawled out from under the tables, tho editor-in-chief came up from tho collar and tho police po-lice arrived. As soon as tho medal3 aro minted the editor-in-chief will be decorated for his bravery. |