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Show Slap-Happy Cubs Give Nutty Views Of Three South Years By Nate Fullmer and Howard Green Remember . . . remember the first time we entered South in all it's glory and splendor, and spent all our time getting lost? Ah, yes, and judging from the reports we get from Mr. Gerrish on Keith Brown's tardiness, he is still wandering around in a fog. Yes, that was when we had nothing to trouble our minds but chemistry, physics, shorthand, biology, trig, English, Latin, solid g. Those were the good old days when men were men and women would fall for a good line. Now it's the women that feed the line, isn't it, Gloria Clausen? And we can almost remember the time that Eugene Bennett was afraid of women! (the elephant that remembered this just died!) War has changed things a great deal at South high. We can remember the time that the student body president went to South Instead In-stead of the University of Utah. And then classes have been greatly speeded up. Take for instance1 the case of when Audrey Aud-rey Ostler stepped out of Mr. Crook's History class for a drink (of water) and missed the Civil War! The importance of our great students at South is at last being recognized. They are getting greeting cards from the President. Aren't you, Jack Wharton and Tom Challis? The draft situation grows worse and the manpower shortage more acute. This means there will be extra girls. Now even Dick Cederholm can get a date. There are many things that remain the same, however. The library is still a placid, quiet, and serene place to study. If you don't believe us, drop in any night after dark. Miss Dyer still has those friendly chats with students who don't fully appreciate the outstanding out-standing educational facilities at South. Bill Rose, more commonly known as P Osie, will testify that the drop from Mr. Bird's window still is six feet. (He ought to know, he made it twice head first!) And yearbook day. That is when your friends pay you a nice tribute, such as "Boy, are you a neat kid! I wish you lotsa success and happiness. I surely hope you get ahead you need one." There are still after school and weekend trips to the canyons and the beach; but who likes to ride a bicycle that far? Another thing that South is noted for is its beautiful women! Ah, me, would that it were that these columnists could meet a few (more) of them. Then there are still guys like Delbert At-wood, At-wood, although he's the only ROTC officer we know who paints his spots on lump sugar and rolls 'em instead of putting them in his Postum. It was more fun at South when we had three lunches. Now the extra twenty minutes gives you too much time to get caught sluf-fing. sluf-fing. The war stimulates! We mean it . . . Rumor has it that Hartwell Sessions is working work-ing on an invention that will teach typewriters how to spell. If and when he finishes this invention, he can easily sell it in Miss Fin-ster's Fin-ster's first period type class. The war brings creative instincts. Who ever thought of nick-naming Miss Hair "Fuzzy?" We can remember Lagoon day last year. The swim was so refreshing. Refreshing. . . that's French for "Seven Guys Froze to Death." And in conclusion, let us remind you that you don't have to be crazy to write stuff like this. BUT IT SURE HELPS! Editor's Note: One of the greatest changes of South is its humor. It used to be funny! (Nate and Howard, please note). Response: We will be glad to take a job this summer for room, board, $10 bucks a month and a new pair of shoes ! NATE MAKES GOOD ms 3 ESCAPE Sv |