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Show OCTOBER desires were becoming increasingly insistent in spite of his vigorous efforts to put them behind. Try as he might, the advice given him by the Church was totally without any effect. He knew under the circumstances that he could not marry. With trepidation, he finally went to the at least counseling service. He was given a battery of tests and interviews, then was set up on a conditioning therapy program coupled with hypnosis and supportive counseling. He was sent to Salt Lake to magazine stores to find pictures of naked men that excited him. These were made into slides and flashed on a screen while he sat in a chair with electrodes .straped to hia arms. As the picturesn were a shock; the? to being purpose couple the pain of the shock with the stimulation of the picture in order to condition him so that he not only disliked the shock but also the picture. This was the first time he had ever looked at pictures of naked men. He was given - shown,-h$i:giye- "...in spite of the many cure letters on file, not one single homosexual has been cured through this approach. a dial to determine the strength of the shock, and was son keeping it on full strength, as he was determined to be cured as quickly as possible. He came out of these sessons shaking, and with mild burns on his arms. He was hypnotized and told he would no longer think but would instead have heterosexual ones. The therapy sessions progressed well, and he was sent again to Salt Lake to find pictures of nude girls which were shown to him without the shock. He was counseled to let his imagination have free pldy on these pictures and was to let them be the basis of his sexual fantasies. He understood what they meant. For nearly two years this therapy lasted, during which time he felt confident that he was changing and nau-sate- d, homo-secualthoug- hs that homosexuality was behind him. His therapist was extremely pleased and had him write a letter, stating that he was now cured through these reconditioning techniques Shortly after this, a girl friend introduced him to a friend whom I shall call Bob. Bob was talented, intelligent, and handsome. He was to leave for a mission. Immediately upon his introduction to Bob, he knew that all his years of resistance to this experience and all of what had happened in therapy, painful as it had been, had not even scratched the surface of who he really always was. To you, his feelings for Bob may seem strange or repulsive, but for him it was a deeply satisying, warm, loving expression of how he really felt towards another person and the first such experience in his life. It was not easy for him to accept, however, as he had to examine it against all of his own built-u- p procould no he hibitions. But longer and who was he of the truth deny what his experience had been. As he told me, No one wanted to change more than I did. I did everything within my power to change, and it didnt alter my homosexuality one whit. All I had learned to do was suppress much of my personality largely through preoccupying my mind and energy with other distractions. I suddenly realized how much of my life 1 was shutting down, turning off, and how absolutely lonely I was becoming. I was avoiding even innocent rapport with other men for fear it might turn sexual. I was making my life miserable by a pervasive denial of who I am. It isnt easy now, especially because of the Church which means so much to me, but " now I am starting to build McBride, which, as Drs. Wilson and hang his head in shame were he life, not I my destroy myself. dont Davison conclude, the availability to know even a small portion of the know the answers; but Im beginning of a sympathetic female for initial number of children who have been now to know myself. You wouldn't heterosexual contact by the male conceived by desperate men trying believe what a difference it has made seems especially important. (And. to prove to themselves and the rest for me to come to know and truly they don't mean hold hands!) Have of the world that they are not homolove another person. It has been the we not lost our under sexual or by men who have gone bearings when, most healing experience I have ever the name of repentance, we launch into marriage thinking it would cure had through all these tormented a program of vaginal them. Surely, President Woodbury penetration where the basic human values and exyears of abstention and repression. isnt unaware of some of his colleaperience of love and tenderness must gues, apparently exemplary husbands Shock treatments practiced at BYU conform to anatomical criteria or and fathers, who have been apprebe destroyed? Has it not occurred hended in overt homosexual behavThis young mans experience, like to you that in shocking the young ior and excommunicated. Could he many others, including my own, dis- man, you are chipping away at his possibly be surprised to learn that credit the propositions if recondi- ability to ever love, another human many men have married on the emtioning the homosexual. It is amaz- being? From what set of values phatic and persistent urging of Genering that it continues to receive sup- do you say that a man is improved al Authorities who apparently didfrom shock he who . when, following port professional,, people therapy, can n't need the love neither a man nor a woman? . ought '.to .be discriminating and ing.: through whicirounsel the critical Of course, this young mans trusting homosexual As of right statement that he is cured is part Lives being ruined by the cure now, bishops and stake presidents of the reason why the therapist is misled, but only a small part. It is excusable for the lay person to accept his statement at face value. In this case and many others, the palpable naivete of the therapist from the outset is, from a professional standpoint, inexcusable. He believed this patient because he wanted to at the expense of discovering what was really going on in therapy. And Dr. McBride ahs never bothered to conduct any follow-u-p with my friend though an extended and detailed post therapy program was originally promised. This young man, like many others, had never had a homosexual experience prior to therapy. Nothing could be misconstrued as conditioning him for homosexuality. Everything points to the contrary. He .choose not to be homosexual he systematically refused to attend to homosexual fantasies, he chose and had those experiences that would reward heterosexual interests and extinguish homosexual ones. His two years of therapy were the epitome of rewards and punishments scient-icall- y calculated to destroy his feelings and evoke heterosexuality. His subconscious was massaged through so much to me but at least I "...ffte Church means know now I am starting to build my life, not destroy myself. ut non-sexu- al hypnotic techniques, his conscious efforts were strongly supported and his spiritual efforts were ab- solute. Right now, young men are going into the Smith Family Living Center to be strapped with electrodes and shocked out of homosexuality. Typical of a sort of is a professor who finally decided to go ahead and get married. Now, when he walks down the hall, he keeps his eyes straight ahead not looking at anyone. He has several children, but the life has gone out of him. Reconditioning therapists should have caught on long ago to the fact that people are much more prone to become sexually masochistic, learning to enjoy the painful stimuli along with the sexual gratification, instead of extinguishing the sexual drive through aversion techniques. These therapists also fail to realize that their systematic and precisely calculated techniques don't hold a candle to the pervasive system of punishments and rewards their patient has already been subjected to torture. by society and by Is it reasonalbe to expect that his sexuality can now be changed through techniques involving milder punishments and less attractive rewards? Regardless of all official disclaimers, the Church has unwittingly come to support a Playboy theory of the by Drs. Thorne and type carried-ou- t self-mutilati- self-impos- ed Many people are convinced that the homosexual is simply afraid of having sex with a girl and that he only needs to try it and discover how much he likes it to get over his fears. Some Church authorities have encouraged the young man along this line, urging him to just go ahead and get married and that he will' get to like having sex with his wife. Does such a charade warrant invoking the vows of eternal marriage? I have talked with the women who have been on the receiving end of this emotional duplicity. For many, their lives have been irreparably damaged. Would the Brethren ever stop to ask themselves if they would want their own daughter to marry one of these men? Or do they simply see some nameless, faceless, young lady out there somewhere whose purpose is to serve as the sexual guinea pig for this young man? Is curing the homosexual so. important that it justifies ruining the life of another per son ? I wish you could visit for a few hours with just such a young women whose husband married her are urging marriage upon confessed homosexuals in their wards and stakes. One man, brought to trial and narrow- ly escaping excommunication, was insistently counseled by his stake president to court a divorcee whom he had mentioned as remote possibility. What is the difference between counsel through a blessing Typical of the false cure is the sudden and dramatic falling in love with a girl which, when observed closely, turns out to be only falling in love with love. Well trained therapists are alert to this crucial dis--j tinction as the client, who is legitimately confused on this poinL, often makes decisions that have and disastrous consequences not only for himself but for others. A young man here recently told me, "I never should have married, but I thought at the time I could pull it off. Now I have two beautiful children whom I love very much, but I never should have had them. In spite of the joy they bring me, if I had it to do again, I would never marry. It is very difficult for me to hold my! marriage together, but I feel I must now for the sake of my children." The number of married Mormon homosexuals is astounding. I know of many homosexuals who have married and have children. In not one single case has it changed their homosexuality. This kind of sexual reconditioning ther- apy is not only simplistic but immoral since it toys with the deep g affections and emotional of another person. Marriage is the rug under which the Brethren encourage many men to sweep their homosexuality. Advising the homosexual to marry is therapy at its worst and spiritual guidance at its most irresponsible. Realizing that the possibility of cure is remarkably remote, many counselors in the Church resort to advising the young man to abstain from any overt sexual behavior. In the words of one mother to her son. You can be homosexual, but you must abstain from expressing it. This way your homosexuality is morally neutral', and you are still in good standing with the Church. far-reachi- well-belin- "...marriage is the rug under which the Brethren encourage many men to sweep their homosexual ity. and simply earnest counseling when the homosexual has been taught all his life that his leaders are inspired and that their counsel is to be heeded with all diligence? We need to know what we are talking about when we speak of the Hetros and Homos Essentially rewards of faith. President Woodbury Indistinguishable at President Kimballs urgin. She would do well to examine closely is how struggling to piece together his examples. I have often said to others that one shattered life and raise their young does not have homosexuality, one Member of Twelve says Gays is homosexual. To the heterosexual daughter, on her own while her be cannot women is drawing other who protests this, I pose its corchanged into the vortex of his disturbance ollary. One does not have heteroSome of the Brethren have come sexuality, one is heterosexual. It is in an effort to convince himself he is a man. Even in these recent attempts, to realize this in their experience more than a semantic . mistake to he has had the encouragement and with other married homosexuals. A state that one has hetemsexual- blessings of his Church leaders. senior member of the Twelve wrote Marriage is not a decision into which to a young lady in answer to her any young man, hetro or homosexual anxious inquiry about whether or should be pressured. Considering the not she should marry a homosexpressure that the Brethren are now ual who said he loved her and could placing on all eligible young men, is thereby change. His reply: Homo- somewhere in between it any wonder that the divorce rate sexuality cannot be changed. This for temple marriages is alarming? young lady asked if her letter could these two extremes, and be shown to others; the reply was no. are, to some extent cap- ...most people fall The heterosexual experience will not cure the homosexual. Some homosexuals enjoy having sex with a woman and some dislike immensely. The distinct preference for a man remains regardless of their interest in the opposite sex. President Woodbury recently gave a fireside talk on faith and used an example of curing the homosexual to prove his point. One of his students had come to him with the problem of homosexuality. He had sent this young man to one of the General Authorities who gave him a special blessing to overcome the problem and told him to get married. The young man later returned to Pres-deWoodbury concerned about his forthcoming marriage and the fact that he was still homosexual He told President Woodbury about the special blessing. The President had serious misgivings. He called the General Authority who stated that he could not withdraw the blessing for the Lord had spoken. President Woodburys misgivings were still not laid entirely to rest, but the young man left his office convinced he should get married. Months later, President Woodbury observed tlis young man sitting in an audience next to. his pregnant wife. His conclusion was in essence, See, you must have faith in the A close inspection of many so called cures reveals that the young man able of both experienenters one of these fluctuations, des- cies. If perately convinces himself that he is changing as the intensity of the drive temporarily subsides, and his therapist unwittingly concurs. Therapy is ex- ity. Heterosexuality is fundameis soon terminated. Follow-utremely limited; a cure is assumed. ntal to who he is. It would not Several years later, after he has got- occur to him to consider his sexten himself married and responsible uality as some sort of learned apfor the lives. of several children, he pendage or chosen identity. It is so call from fundamental to who he is that it may receive a follow-up- " his therapist. "How are you doing?" makes it difficult for him to conWhat can he say? He's in too deep sider that not everyone else exnow to consider his personal feelings. periences himself in the same manner. Children, wife, job, bills, friends, and Not infrequently, heterosexuals have pride force him to keep up the facade. expressed to me their difficulty in minded about homoFine, just fine." Is everything al- being "Oh yes. Im doing just great, sexuality. The expression of love or right?" we just had our third child, a boy." affection between two men. particular His head is swimming. Thankfully, ly when it is of a sexual manner, seems the conversation is short. In the case to them "unnatural." can appreit files, something ciate emotional hurdle the appears history required like ...at which time the patient in such a consideration. One's psybecame engaged and therapy was chology precedes one's philosophy. terminated with the proviso that he The heterosexual's feeling could return for assistance whenever that homosexuality is unnatural he felt the need for it. His marriage is deeper than a conditioned mental appears to be satisfactory. He has construct or value judgment. His stabilized in his employment and has statement comes from who he is. The returned for therapy only once when same emotional hurdle is required of he was briefly drawn to return to the homosexual It is not from some his old homosexual practices. Follow- twisted superficial rationalization but up seven years later confirms that he from deep within who he is that comes remians a very happily married and his fundamental honest emotinal rewould President Woodbury well adjusted heterosexual. alization that for him. the heterosex- p nt Lord. open-minde- d 1 gut-lev- el |