Provo Daily Enquirer | 1891-09-01 | Page 3 | An Inventive Genius

AN INVENTIVE GENIUS productions FOR WHICH CAPITAL ALWAYS IS LACKING the poor man who I 1 continually chag ine the phantom of wealth he can convince his fellows that he nag a good thine there was a hesitating nibble at the door knob then the door was eflowly opened and in he came first at one and then tho others of na aa if in search of a friendly or encouraging glance his clothes were old but well brushed and his shoes had seen their best daya he was tall thin and a hungry individual who would scarcely have cast a shadow when st dewise to the light he had no doubt been better days but now he was of the class oi shabby genteel who some way or other manage to desist on the barest pittance removing an old douch hat from his head with a spasmodic jerk he turned to the man who was nearest the door and asked Is thia the place where they patent and braces when informed that it wag he seemed pleased to think lib had found the right place and asked to see the chief hat in hand he sauntered up to the chiefs desk and after a few remarks about the weather he reached down in his trousers pocket and brought up a contrivance which at first glance looked like an ordinary shoe horn with a click and a snap however he turned up from the email end a corkscrew we had all seen him before and knowing there was fun ahead by this time there was a general suspension of work and all were intently watching the proceedings with the fire of genius in his eyes and a tremor in his voice ha exclaimed as he held the contrivance up to view theres a fortune in that for somebody but they dont seem to pee it that little thing fills a long felt void A man always needs a corkscrew in the evening and after he haa drawn the coaks and imbibed the contents of several bottles how would he get his hat on in the morning if it were not for this hat persuader USEFUL LITTLE both of these little necessaries are here in a neat and compact little device which if it were only manufactured and put on the market would sell like hot cakes no one seemed to want to take hold of it however and a good thing is going begging from the lack of a few dollars to give it a start people dont know what they are missing see that and he held out a jackknife with s patent needle threading attachment tach ment another good something which bachelor havo been wanting for a long time how many of you can thread a needle you all carry a jackknife every man does with one provided with this little attachment of mine any man could thread a needle as gjoa as a woman 1 I tried to interest capitalists in thia little scheme but it shared the same fate as the other one man said he nouh take of it if it had bootjack and month organ attachments but as it was he did not want it some people are hard to please bat drawing a bundle from his coat tail pocket and waving it in the air ive got it this time and no mistake for a long time have I 1 chased tho frisky dollar but it has given me the blip thank heaven I 1 have at last found the way to fame and fortune gentlemen he said as he slowly unwrapped the package and held up to our astonished gaze a combination of straps cords pulleys buckles and large red ji ields behold the greatest invention of the age this is a combined suspender and adjustable liver pad to show you what it is and how it works I 1 will just slip it on over my coat there now that a grand THE LIVER PAD you na doubt perceive the great advantage of having the liver pad connected with your suspenders the pad is adjustable to fit all livers any ono can wear it no matter where their liver is or where they think it is how many people know where their liver is not many I 1 warrant yen how would a man who supposed his liver was up under his right arm manage with the ordinary liver pad he manage at all he would die of liver complaint in a months time this being adjustable can be shifted to all parta of the body thus people can have their liver pad wherever they wish it gentlemen think of the people walking around today suffering because they cannot cover the place where they suppose their liver to be with the ordinary U ver pad why it is a beautiful thing and with a Seller air he exclaimed theres millions in gentlemen you all being experts in this line must appreciate its many advantages and possibilities do any of you want to get rich to any one who will kindly advance me enough to pay for my patent I 1 will give a half interest in this the grandest thing of the kind ever dreamed of its a chanco of a lifetime lif and you liaa it no one appeared anxious to invest in liver pads either through lack of bonfi cence or of to do BO or both and sadly taking it off and wrapping it up carefully and stowing it away he shuffled out muttering in an undertone to himself something about greatest invention of the age fortunes last chance washington star alie papyrus of egypt A curiosity in the agricultural department is the papyrus of asia which yielded the substance asod as paper by the ancient egyptians for this purpose th 1 wood of the reed stem was cut in thin slices which were placed side by side according to the size of the sheet required after being wetted and beaten with a wooden instrument until smooth they were pressed and dried in the sun washington star A witch who told the troth ann hotel formerly ann croft has been a famous character in the county for thirty years she professes to have powers instilled in her from birth by a witch mother she has epileptic fite talks with a drawl and a nasal whine and emphasizes her words in a manner her enemies said that sha inflicted the troubles she foretold her friends that she was a surprising medium through which tho future revealed itself she undoubtedly hit the truth in many instances for example she happened to he at a ladys house in her travels and apon opening her boote declared that a coffin appeared between her lines her bearer was visibly affected because one of her sons was away at the war no said ann divining her thoughts he will not die in battle he will choice to death there was but oney wayt to do this so Shy ight his mother he cap and hanged as a spy Dc spites the dictates of her reason she A month later aha that had biedin a southern hospital of diphtheria A poor man lost his coat he conail ill afford such a loss for he had na other all through the summer it was searched for and when fall came and he felt the need of it he walked a few miles to hear what ana could hun about it it hangs in a dark place upon 1 knife stuck in the wall bhe read from her wonderful book upon renewed search it was found at the house of hia sister in law and sure enough it hung upon the butcher knife behind the closet door the sister in law had left it there when she went from home the spring before virginia cor chicago news A beautifully Dresye il alan Eure kal I 1 have found as somebody cried when he found out something ages ago as he took his morning tub the thing I 1 found was a beautifully dressed man he did not burst on my view glorious in cuffs and collars he was not in life guardsman uniform nor was ho artistically undressed for the tennis court possibly he was not one of the upper ten for he was riding in au omnibus near victoria and I 1 gathered from his conversation that he was going to his work but whoever he was his tailor was an artist to make a thing of beauty and therefore according to keats a joy forever out of a man whose personal advantages consisted of youth good health and blue eyes the tailor took these eyes for his keynote eo to speak and produced a symphony in light electric blue A suit of smooth serge repeated the color of the eyes the ground of the shirt was an octave higher and the pattern an octave lower in tone the necktie struck the keynote again while the highest note of all was represented by a small but very blue steel chain bronze hat and shoes to match the hair completed a costume which was simply perfect it was with much difficulty we refrained from asking his tailors address cor london star why he was eccentric upon a time 1 came under tha banner of british eccentrics I 1 paid a visit to crete a turkish island by the levant and not finding the hotel of the capital to my mind with the aid of soma kindly intermediaries J hired a house in the country and went thither to take up my abode alone to make matters worse it was at an epoch when the island was disturbed by revolt the turkish regiments were being increased by new levies and great was the activity on the various military exercising grounds outside banea canea and candia tho two chief towns however nothing cerious came cf it and I 1 am free to confess that I 1 enjoyed my unconventional bivouac none tha leas for the flavor of excitement that this outbreak in the island lent to it how nall just like an laang remarked one of tile officers of tho austrian ironclads iron at that time anchored with the international fleet in suda bay yet I 1 believe ad a matter of fact that he and some of his brethren envied mo lay residence all the year round on of kwains twains stories here ia a story mark twain recently told an english interviewer who wanted to learn all about american humor A clergyman in new kwas requested by a man to come over to brooklyn to officiate at his cifes funeral the clergyman assented only stipulating that there must be no delay as he had an important engagement the same day at the appointed hour they all met in the parlor the room was crowded with sobbing people the clergyman stood up over the coffin and began to read the service when be felt a tug at his coat tails and bending down ho heard the widower whimper in his ear wo aint ready yet rather awkwardly he sat down in a dead yi lence presently he arose again and the same thing took place A third time he arose and the same thing occurred but what is the delay he whispered bask why are you not ready she aint all here yet was the very ghastly and unexpected reply her stomachs at the san francisco argonaut wild bananas are round are there no varieties of bananas wild yes some have been found hi ceylon cochin china and the philippines these of course have seeds ant they are inferior to the long cultivated varieties the banana is cultivated by duckers and it is in this way that the literal plant perpetuates itself indefinitely in central africa you may find thousands and thousands of plants that literally lave iu them the germ and life of ten thousand years duration geographical magazine an unfailing sten how do you distinguish 0 the four hundreds Hund redy by their long purses and their long ears new york epoch ananies itlay isato me alace or xoy boy there is just a faint possibility that babies may supersede as the pampered lapdog the duchess of portland has taken an odd and perhaps unaccountable fancy to ba very proud of her baby daughter and to avail herself of every opportunity of having the little woman with her when the duchess opened the great kensington bazaar recently baby lady victoria was proudly displayed to the public in her mothers arms whatever is english goes to use the idiom and how funny and perhaps pretty it would be to see white jeweled hands caressing the fair faces and soft curls of little children and to behold a baby on a silken shoulder in public instead af the hairy little be rib boned canine aristocrats of the mode new york sun Enon nong powder powder puffs are now being made of enormous sice as large as the top of an ordinary sugar basin the handle being modeled after the bust of some celebrated person sometimes the handle unscrews and contains in its hidden space either a supply of powder or eyebrow pencils and other accessories for the beautys toilet these puffs are most convenient especially for travel and for eummer sojourning sojo where the aids of beauty must not be neglected pittsburg dispatch Dis it pays to have a specialty miss carrie sunnier of holyoke mass when at smith college made a specialty of greek and so far surpassed in that she quickly obtained a fine situation in a pennsylvania school to teach greek only with short hours good pay and from her thorough knowledge of the branch little weariness or care notice to contractors bids will be by bignel for the erection ot a district school building to be erected in pleasant grova utah county for plan a and specifications apply tb J H Na secretary school Trus leeB grove and K 0 wathina Wat kina at K klet tinga office asylum all bids must be sealed and to J H Ife secretary school pleasant grove utah county ane Crus teas reserve the right to reject any ir all esda bida will be opened sep contractors are ui vitta to le present at tha opening of bids 1 y 1 l