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Show January 26, 1955" SIGNPOST Page 3 Sez Who What Would You Do if You Could Be A . . . Nancy Sanders This week your inquiring reporter asked a question that proved to have some very interesting answers. The question was, "What would you do if you could be a member of the opposite sex?" "What would I do? Oh, dear! What wouldn't I do? I guess the first thing I would do is . ask Larry Price for a date. (Isn't someone con fused?) I think he's a living doll d oil meaning that he's got sawdust for brains." a i I r Vagabond Vagaries By Don Fowler Recently, in a survey conducted by some galloping poll-cats the question was asked, 'What is your ambition in life?" The results show terrible results. The world is fast going to the aardvarks. (A shortage of canines necessitates this move, besides, aardvarks don't need licenses.) We realize the foregoing state- i JBetty ivonold m "Well, I would take Home Eco-n o m i c s and I would probably take Ab Sano-ny's temperature he's got a fever, you know. I would wear highf heels to school too, because I fr like to see girls f in high heels, t Then, gee, I real-?f ly don't know:;:. what I would'".'.:, do." Larry -or v - ' I; lfjn i LJJLBA Lynne Giles "What would I do it I were a C member of the opposite sex You mean if I was married or single? To be truthful, I don't dare say what I would do. My wife ' 9 might eet hold of the paper and then I would be a dead duck." "1 7 Price "Uhhhh! Oh, I know. I'd be a bachelor and live in a penthouse. I guess I'd need a whole new wardrobe, too. Then I'd buy myself a few dogs, be-cause I'd like dogs better than girls. I'd have the boys over every night and have big booze parties and play poker to earn a living." 1 V s -1 i..:.v,.i.dj.4i;:.-:i)i;:it Tom Musgrave "If I was a girl I'd do my best to make everybody in town chase me. Then I'd hope they would spend sleepless nights worrying about me, and go hungry wondering whether or not I would give them a date. Gee, that's the hardest question T'Tn aTa-r liaH in -3 answer!" . -"'.';5..'vi Ron Bingham "If I could be a member of the opposite sex I'd not be bashful and back ward and I would take out every one of the girls. I would show the girls a good time and I would make life more interesting for everyone, I always wanted to be a boy 'cause it seems to me that they can get away with almost anything." Sharon Allen ment has been uttered for at least 5,000 years, but before you turn away in boredom, glance through the reason for this statement. The survey shows that 99 of the people around want to be a success in life; that is, to spend the rest of their natural born days plugging away at some dreary job that leads nowhere. Complete Indifference The survey thus shows that there is almost complete indifference to the only truly rewarding profession left to mankind, that of being a bum. Consider the advantages, you who would spend the rest of your natural born lives acquiring a few sheckles along with various ulcers, and nervous breakdowns.To quote one "Prince of the Open Air" on the advantages, "Gotta dime fer a cuppa coffee?" The foregoing statement clearly shows how nice it is not to have to worry about the unbalanceable budget and a looming March 15. Consider other advantages. Unlimited travel. Of course the view from a boxcar is not always the best but think of the difference in the fare. Live Off Land You can live off the fat of the land, unless you get caught. But then the rest in the local pokey will do you good. You can meet interesting people. Indeed, lifelong friendships have sprung up in drunk tanks. There are other advantages. Once it is known that you are on Meet Your Friends at MASON'S DRIVE INl Any Day of The Week ; Riverdale Road at Lincoln Ave. IIIIIIIIIIIIIDIIIIMIIIIIIDIIIIIIIIIIIIDIIMIIIIIIIIOIIIIIIIMIIIDIIIIII I WEBER OFFICE I I SUPPLY CO. I 2432 Washington Blvd. g YOUR STATIONER g Complete Line g Drafting Supplies g 1 i School Supplies g Stationery, Fountain Pens 94iiiiiDiiiiiiiiiiiiDiiiiiiiiiiiiDiiiiiiiiiiiiaiiiiiiiMiiiaiiiiiiiiiiii:a the bum, people will open their arms and extend to you, the weary traveler, their warmest hospitality. (The usual vagrancy sentence is 30 days.) Thus, you see the only way to real happiness is to take to the open road, adopt Hoboism and enjoy life at its best(?) STAR Printing & Litho Co. 327 - 23rd Street PHONE 3-7988 Keep Up With School Events Read The Signpost Tiie CHeilb Coirraeir Chanodo in Charge of Friendship Banquet Chanodo had their initiation last Wednesday evening. When the girls were through swallowing gold fish, eating raw liver, having egg shampoos, and many other things, they said -it was one night they would never forget. Arlene Baron had her extra dose of gold fish, wouldn't seem to stay in her mouth, they just kept flopping out. On the way home in Olive Oil, Kayla Kerr's car, eleven of us really had a ball. We would get stuck in the snow, then the doors would fly open and girls would come from everywhere. We would all push, climb back in the car and away we would go again. This happened only eight times before everyone got home safe and sound. The Merry Maids are now very busy with the planning of the Friendship Banquet which will be held February 2. Alpha Rho Holds Smoker On February 21 Final word on Alpha Rho's smoker is that the bouts will be held Saturday night at 8:00 in the Highland Stake recreation hall. We hope to see you all out but not down for the battles. We wish to extend a big welcome to Jerry Brown on his AWOL leave from the army. Army life has left him none the worse for wear? Congrats go to pert Beverly Coleman for being the most appropriate "pink lady" during the Hell week competition. Her attendants were Colleen Greenwell and Marianne Johns. At least two pledges, Kent Berg and Harry Ketts looked better with a growth on one side a good opportunity was had to stick some unsuspecting date at the dance something all pledges were toattend. Af This Moment Can You Identify gram on -7 si mw For You" on W For Yoh X .-.'--.TK ig W " A-- -VN; It's Prizes i KLO 'For You I It- DIAL I - -w,ipill fs H'1430 SvV.:' ' 3 When I H 7:45 a.m. TJt l'f WE CALL N pill, 10:15 a.m. JwmKmXwml - j j lr'-' f ' ' ' AND jjm ':'.y ;'; C "'' if you M$k y: 'l'CjA THE . S Jmm 'ystWY HllfpiSHIfi Iffill i 1 oW oA' fORYOU" v Qlhi iSlliiiiiSllfeq So-' TTj |