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Show tel where Jack worked tn Palm Bench. And he sat down, and sent for the boss Luis Morano, the boss is and Synthetic Gentleman fly CHANNING POLLOCK OogqrrlcM. Caanolnf PuMock WNSttniM. Morano they bad a stiff pow-wowas sure all through when he came back where the dressing rooms are. And then we swung Into a number, called Tickle Me.' The girls go op to the men. In that number, and paw 'em a good deal. And, In the middle of this pawing, Kelly jumps op. and yells that I've tried to pick his pocket. I'd really Just got to him, as an other girl left, but be grabbed my arm, and shouted so you could have heard him In Harlem. Luis ran over, and the bouncer brought a cop, and a crowd gathered. "Kelly'd been drinking a lot. 'Yon can't get away with that!" he kept yelling at Morano. 'I'll send this girl ! to the Island, ..nd you to the You watch me! "'I got nothing to do with It.' Luis answered. 'I don't even, know this girl, Isn't that She only came Monday. right, boys? "Well, the end of it was that I walked out with the cop. I'd've been In the lock-uyet, only there was a decent young fellow on the desk at the station house. He let me go on my promise to return If I was want ed, there being no one there to sign the complaint." While she talked, the Duke was thinking. Astonishing things had happened and went on happening. Were aston Ishlng things always happening, every where? And did they come about as qiletly as this; as much as though they were the commonplaces of dally routine? "You've walked Into a pretty mess," the girl had said. But. after all It wasn't his mess. So far as he was concerned, the game was up. He hud made full and complete confession to this girl, without a mo ment's hesitation. Firstly, because the game was up, anyway, and, secondly, because It had seemed the right moment for laying cards on the table. He bad asked to see her hand, and he couldn't expect to do that without showing his own. Without Inspiring her conhot-spot- 7DOOOOOCXXXXX SYNOPSIS , The Duke, Barry Gilbert, likable youth n Jobless and broke, twenty-threan unoccupied summer home In Southampton, seeking; ehelter from a torm. He makes himself at home. Dollar at the fireplace, he Is startled by f en-te- e, the arrival of a butler, Willette; and chauffeur, Evans. He learns that the on of the owner of the houu. Jack Bidder, whom the servants had never aeen. Is expected. He decides to bluff It out. His supposed parents have left for Germany. Next morning he Is given a letter for his "mother." He opens It nd finds a message from the real Jack, saying he could not rome, and returning bill. The boy s father a hundred-dolla- r had pensioned htm Into obscurity. Barry pockets the money. Intending to return It later. He orders Evans to take him to Montauk, Intending to disappear there. On the way he meets Judge Hambldge and his daughter, Patricia. Believing he Is Jack Kidder, she Invites Mm to dinner the following Thursday Barry, returns to Southampton, deciding to stay bit longer. Mr. Rldder, Sr., through his newspaper, the Globe, ac cuses Judge Hambldge of taking orders from Tammany Hall In a condemn! tlon proceeding. Barry meets Peter Wlnslow, prominent attorney. Wlnslow tells Barry that Judge Hambldge had aeen an accident In which a woman was killed by a taxlcab. At home Barry finds the wife of the real Jack Rldder awaiting him. Her husband la In jail la New Tork, charged with the murder r Mike Kelly, Tammany boss. p fidence. Why did he want to Inspire her confidence? What was ber story to him? Why should he care what hap6 Everything about the girl was a pened to a woman he had never aeen In Bad Nauhelm? But, damn It, he contradiction, the Duke thought. Hard, and yet soft, with her steely eyes, and had seen her I lie bad seen Into ber her Quivering lips. Her English was mind and heart, which Is a good deal rather better than fairly good, and more than looking at a face, or a yet she could say, "He's a tough guy black satin dress. Her life would be that blrdl" Beaded eyelashes, and over with this. And the old man's. "a little boy." A chorus girl who be "The doctor says any shock might Ueved tn her husband, and came an prove serious. One false step on your hundred miles through the - night to part. If he knew, would end everyhelp him. A philosopher, the Duke, thing forever. And he would know. Ill as he Is, he still has bis newspaas we hare seen, and he found him self musing, "is anyone black or per sent him, and he still reads every word," white? Aren't we all contradictions kind of a dirty gray?" The Duke felt sorry for these young people, too for that foolish young "Go on," he said. husband who "wouldn't hurt a fly," "Well, Jack was getting this fifty and for this painted, hard soft young I old man's , from the lawyer when met him. We were playing West Talm wife and mother, who had wanted a home and a man she could respect. Beach, and he followed me to Miami. Patricia? Well, that hurt. He had Hadn't anything else to do. He was known It would. He had known, from I he'd knew and all the time, drinking never quit until he had to. 'I'll marry that first day, that he cared a lot. for you,' I told him, 'but not while you're this girl who needed a spanking, but loafing around on money you get from he had known, too, that his caring a guy that's ashamed of you. I want wasn't going to come to anything. a home,' I said, 'and a husband I Even if his luck had held, you couldn't can respect. You get a Job, and I'll marry a girl like that, and then have her find out that you were "a bum." marry you.'" An lmposter. It didn't matter now. "Di he?" now was whether this What mattered I him. and married "Yes, lie did, had killed Mike Kelly. And, If boy too-night That week, It was a good Job, It was "going to clerk In a big hotel at Palm he hadn't, whether much difference" with all the make Beach. After that, we let the fifty lay Boss' cohorts arrayed agulnst him. In the post office. Jack didn't want And, anyway, how the whole business to I to, at first, but said, 'We're going was to be sept for a while, at least make Jay Rogers mean something, and from the woman who was "counting then we're going back and talk turkey the days" to his letter a! Niuihelm. to the old man.' We had a swell lit"You've got your nerve," Peggy tle home, and the kid came, anil he's swell, too. And then, all at once, the O'Day had said. "Well, that's what And, as he listened, boom busted right In our face, and we need now." was more nnd more compelled Barry we It and back beat the hotel closed, to New York. Say, what am I telling to agree with her. you this for?" "We got home around half past ten "Go on." the girl had been saying, o'clock," "Well, the next chapter's the same "and Jack was wild when he saw the old Story. No money. No Job. Trampcop, and heard the story. 'I'll be back ing the. streets, looking for work. for you tomorrow,' the cop said, 'and Know what that's like?" better be here. This department you'd "I Invented it," said the Duke. takes Its orders from Mike Kelly, and "Well, then, you know. Things kept don't you forget that.' happening. The boy got sick, and the " 'I'm going to see Mike Kelly,' Jack people we rented the room from says. 'I knew him pretty well In Palm threatened to put us out, and I guess Beach. And I know where he lives. Jack couldn't stand It So he went I'll be back here by midnight.' to see his mother without telling me. was as the clock was "He Just He didn't tell her about me, either. I remember that, because striking. "The old lady gave him a hundred I thought of a line from a burlesque bncks, and Invited him down here. I of an old play I was In once. 'The don't know what else happened, because hour has struck, and I am here.' Jaek I was so mad he didn't dare tell me. whs 'The sou of a Proud? Well, partly, but I guess the he says. 'The dirty skunk! truth Is I was scared they'd separate I'll get that guy some day!' us. Anyway, I made him send the "'Wouldn't he see you?' I asked. money back. 'What're we going to do?" " 'Sure, he saw me,' Jack said. 'The he said. 'Let the kid starve? I can't butler brought uie right In a Jap, or get work.' 'No,' I answered, 'but may- a or something. Kelly'd been Filipino, be I can. I'm a good hoofer. If I do drinking, and he was drinking more and there's it myself, say In the dining room. He came In to girls In a lot of shows. me. In the drawing room, though, and "Well, there wasn't an Aborn show shut the doors behind him. The Jap In town. Or any other regular show or the Filipino, came In after, with that wanted me. So last Monday 1 a bottle of Scotch whiskey, and two landed In a Joint, called The Cocoa-nu- t glasses, and Mike kept on drinking. Bar. One of those places where I had one with him. He was please dinner and a ant enough to start with. The teleyou get a revue for two dollars, and both of 'em phone rang In the hall, and he apolorotten. Salad without dressing, and gized for going out to answer It. yon don't care because the show girls When he came back, '"You'll have to are the same way. Tough spot The make It snappy. he says. ' "I've Cocoa nut Bar but I wasn't choosey got an Important conference here In a last Monday." few minutes."' " 'So then I told him about you, and "So, then, Jack was mad." went nutty. he been a He'd promised place "Plenty. "'"She's a damned little thief 1" he as elevator man In Brooklyn, but we couldn't wait for that. You can be yelled. ""She's my wife," I answered. as straight in a cabaret as you can In -"Your wife!" he said, "Yes. and a convent, If you want to do. Oh, well last night, Mike Kelly came In. I guess anybody's wife that wants About eight o'clock. With two strong-ar- her 1" ""Don't say that," I asked him. guys. I knew Mm right away, "Til say anything I damn ploasel" because be was five weeks at the ho CHAPTER III Continued !' worse-lookin- the bell arc jon, be shouted. telling uie what to sa? A guy living off a girl at Spanish Luis Mora-no'Well, I don't give a damn who you live off, but when Luis sics 'ens on to lifting stuff out o my pocket, they got the wrong bird ! This dame's going to jail tomorrow, and I'm going to headquarters myself to be sure she does go! Now, get out!" he says.' "Well, of course. Jack loses his temper. They yelled at each other a few minutes, and then Jack says he calmed down. ' "Listen." he says, as quietly "I don't amount as I'm talking now. to much, and I guess I know It as well as you do. But you let up on my wife, or I'll never let up on you as long as I live so help me!"' "And, with that, he flounces out of the house. "'Did yoi bang the door?" I asked, trying to make blm laugh. banged both of 'em.' be answered. "The door from the drawing room Into the hall, and the front door. I mean what I said, too. If you're arrested tomorrow ' " She paused for a moment, and slumped back Into her chair, as though completely exhausted. "You'll find the rest In the paper." she concluded. "The cops picked him up about three o'clock this afternoon. He thought they'd come for me, first, and he said a few things about Kelly that aren't going to help much. I don't know yet why they didn't pick me up, too. Anyway, when they'd gone. I did a whole lot of thinking. And I decided this wasn't a good minute for pride, or anything. 'If they're going to separate us,' I said, 'why. they're going to, and that's that.' So I took a chance, and the first train I could get after I'd found somebody to look after the boy. When the butler told me Mr. Uldder'd be home around midnight, I figured my luck Of course, I never had changed. thought of a fake Bidder." In her tone; There was no only a faint amusement, succeeded, almost immediately, by desperate earnestness. "Well, that's my story," she said. "God only knows why I told you. I came out here to tell It, because I didn't think even that tough old bird would want to see his boy sent np for murder. Now what do we dot Cable? I haven't got money enough; have you? I haven't got a lawyer, or a dollar to hire one. I haven't got a relative that I know about, or a friend In the world. Just a sick kid at home, and a fellow I'm kind of strong for locked up In the Tombs." She had asked, "What do we do?" "I haven't got money enough; have you?" Taken him Into partnership; that's what she had. Into one of those natural, Inevitable partnerships of people who have no one to whom they have the right to turn; the kinship of the poor, and despised, and outcast. "I know a great lawyer," said tha Duke. "A great criminal lawyer. I met him tonight A fellow named Wlnslow." "Not Peter Wlnslow The Duke nodded. "Yes, he's great enough, but he'd never take my case." "He might take mine," the Duke mused, aloud. "We struck up quite FABLES s! SLANG IjN" By GEORGE APE WKU UnSe I I I brl "I Know a Bill Great Lawyer," Said tha Ouke. a friendship. He offered to get me a Of course, that's all off, because " "Because why?" "Because he Isn't going to do any-- ' thing for me when he finds I'm a fake. Nobody Is. when thy know I'm not John Clarke Rldder, Jr." The Duke rose, slowly, and walked across the room. He was thinking hard. "Nobody Is," he repeated, still more slowly, as he returned to the chair In which was sitting the wife of the real Mark" Bidder. "But why should they find out now?" The girl looked at him. wide-eye"I don't get you." "It's easy," he answered, still slow"People ly, and very deliberately. don't do anything for fakes, or cast- offs accused of murder. They won't do anything for the real John Rldder, because he's broke and In disgrace. But they might do a lot for the fake John Rldder If they didn't know he was a fake." "I guess I'm dumb," Peggy said. "but still I don't get yon." "Listen." He resumed his seat In the small chair opposite her. "You came out to get old Join Clarke to help you." "Yes." "And he wasn't here." "No." (TO BE COyTIWWi Job. "eeeeeeesseeeBSseeeeeeeeeeeWnBfjejBaMBB Ad unguem. (L.) To the fir.ger-- 1 aail ; to a nicety. Au di alteram partem (L ) Hear the other side. Chapeaux bas! (F.) Hats offDe novo. (L.) From the be-- I jinnir.g ; anew. Errare humanum est. (L ) To err is human. Fervet opus. (L.) The work glows (i. e., goes on actively). Homme d'esprit. (F.) Man of intellect; wit. Id est. (L.) That is: (abbreviated i. e.). Jeunesse doree. (F.) Gilded youth; wealthy young men. Malgre nous. (F.) In spite of us Lusus naturae. (L.) A freak of nature. Noblesse oblige. (F.) Nobility compels. - "i r Foreign Words and Phrases m m -a - . l&BM MPMsannaajsfl m rS ' ezeasaSSssaW " A Worm " Trying to Give an Imitation of an Anaconda. THE PHONEY VENEER there was a loung Man a 30 Per CeBt Slope his and an Open Space where his Chin should have been. He had taken three full Courses In a Correspondence School which told the Provincial how-tacquire Personality but he had not yet annexed enough to help him In flagging a Street Car. Always he seemed to blend Into the Surroundings, Just like a Piece of Furniture. If he started to say Something In Company, that was the Signal for all the Others to begin talking. He could stand In a Department Store for Hours without being waited on. He s was Kin? of the and held the World's Record for being pushed off the Sidewalk by the white-faceSnips who walk three and four abreast. In every Generation there are certain Men who leave their Impress upon the World. Mr. Effingham Glltts had not made as much as a Dent He was compelled to use Influence to get his Name Into the City Directory. His Mail consisted of Catalogues and Propositions In regard to the Purchase of Books on a Weekly Payment Plan. A SLOGAN SWALLOWER If Mr. Glltts often pondered on Death and decided to postpone the Shuffle as long as possible, It was because he knew darned well that his Funeral would be a Flop. Just a couple of Calla Lilies and some Boys from the Office to was a good deal of a Effingham Gnat but he did not enjoy his Destiny. He found It very Irksome to be rated as a Cipher. Probably what fussed Mr. Glltts more than anything else was the gloomy Fact that the Female Sex regarded him as a Swozzie. Mr. Etllnglmm Glitts was old enough to have a Home of his own, a fine Job at a sweet Salary and u Standing In Society. He saw Men of his own Age being elected to Congress, buildami bossing Railing roads. Whereas, he sat at a Desk and handled some of the piffling Details of a large corporation. Ills Desk was over in a dark Corner, commanding a view of a Brick Wall and some overhead Wires. The English Sparrows would sit on the Wires and look In at Effingham and pity him. It was about a Year ago that Mr. Glltts decided to stop playing the Third Assistant Grave Digger and be the curly-hairehero. When an In-- I sect starts out to be an Eagle that Is Some Contract, but Effingham was hopeful and determined. He had been on B I,,et of "Pliftinir Editorials and n,c' hot Slogans. He had been de vourlng these inspirational Pieces on n,nv to achieve Success. Most of them bad been written by salaried Hacks who owed Grocery Bills-HAD GOOD INTENTIONS Mr. Glltts believed anything that was printed nnd framed. Every time he read one of those highly original instructions hangine above Dpi, resolved to be himself nrt smiling and do It now and not worry He wanted to obey all of the Rules which had helped so ninny Humble Beginners to work their way up to l.SOfl Jobs. Sf ho mo, la .11 hi. m ,0 eniprp(, fron) the L. J flnfl " rppt tnp npw hnrn ""3 "llll IllgO Courage. He had It straight from a Magazine tha every Mortal can get away with Anything if he has the Nerve to Jump right tn and get a Strangle Hold on the immediate Proh ONCE " Eye-brow- s Strap-Hanger- Pall-Bea- d v k- Icin. lie went to his Couch one Evening as a Mokus and arose next Morning as a strong and slli-n- t Charac tcr who was going to pry op(n the World as if it were a l Clam and Incidentally set the Women all worked up about hlin and then smile low-grad- soft-shel- sardonically as he watched them Suffer. Possibly our good Friend was a little feverish under the Fedora when he formulated this high Resolve but he meant well and he sure made a decisive Stab at Greatness. On his Way to Work he gave some crisp Orders to the Menial who was In charge of the Trolley Car. The Conductor did not recognize Hl9 Master's Voice so he called Effingham a Piece of Gorgonzola and told him that If he didn't cut out the Blah-Blahe would have to take a Bat In the Eye. In the Articles which Effingham had been reading there had been no definite Suggestions as to how a Situation of this Kind should be met, so he got off of the Car and walked. For a good many years he had been longing to go Into the Private Office and tell the Boss Just what was wrong with the whole Organlzaton and how It would be a Cinch to double the Business and cut down the Overhead If the Departments could be managed by Men whose heads were filled with Brains Instead of Omelets. The Chief Executive looked up from his Work and there on the Rug was a Worm trying to give an Imitation of an Anaconda. The Head of the Firm listened patiently. When It was over he did not give Mr. Glltts the Fresh Air or even start In to pan him. He advised the faithful Employee to lie down for a little while and then go out and have his Temperature taken. So that Is how near Effingham came to causing a Shake-Up- . BACK TO NATURE When he sternly reprimanded the Typist who did a few Letters for him every Day and gave her a Lecture on the Importance of spelling correctly all Words of One Syllable she never missed one Jaw Movement as she chewed her Wax but she did tell hlra that he was the kind of Fish that ought to stay home all Day instead of wandering out Into the Streets and frightening Pedestrians. He couldn't even High Hat the lovely Try Cutleura for all skin blemishes due to external causes. Ointment 25c Soap 25c FREE trial sizes If too write "Cutlcurs," Dept. 8, Maiden, Mem. 150,000 feet Used & New Pipe Sizes Yz", W, 1" Structural Steel and Plates Monsey Iron & Metal Co. Ut Uki City. Itaa tiitl 3rl list Til h SLEEP SOUNDLY Lack of exercise and injudicious eating make stomachs acid. You must neutralize stomach acids if you would sleep soundly all night and wake up feeling refreshed and really fit. EM TAKE MILNESIAS Milnesia, the original milk of magnesia in wafer form, neutralizes stomach acid. Each wafer equals 4 teaspoonfuls of mi'.k of magnesia. Thin, crunchy, mint-flavo- r, tasty. 20c, 35c & 60c at drug stores. Oflice Boy. For a long time It had been Mr. Glltts' secret Desire to plant a Bomb under the Boarding House In which he was eking out a Miserable Existence. The Landlady was so busy counting the Calories and providing for the Vitamins that she forgot to give them any real Food. Effingham longed to bawl her out In such Loud Tones that his Complaint could be heard In Cuba. So, while he was still under the Influence of the Complex of Superiority, he opened up nnd made a Scene at m PHOTOGRAPHY Roll Developed 116 size or smaller. ' boautlful enlargements from your roll 1 5c. Wisconsin Photoshop, West Salem, WU. PIMPLES Dinner. Effingham let out a Squawk, which Is Hoi Polinl for Protest. He told the Roup the Truth about itself so that he could get a Rise out of the Landlady. He just sat back and waited for her to brag about the Home Cooking and the Refined Atmosphere. He had framed a Come-Bacwhich probably, would up to his being ordered out of the Joint, Bag and Baggage. That was what he craved He knew that he never could function as a Lender of Men while surrounded s by the and Tomtits of a k from surface conditions. need not be endured. Make your skin clearer nd smoother with soothing Resinol WNU Beanery. Rut the Landlady knew him and Hkcd him and pitied hlin, so she Just told him to be In his Room about and she would come up and fix a Foot Bath for him and give him 10 Grains of Aspirin and In the he morning would be all right. Sure enough he was. Il awoke next day fully reconciled to the Fact that he would always be the Goat of the Universe. He decided that he would have to be a Slob instead of a Schwab. He flew at the withered I runes with renl Gusto nnd spoke nicely of the lukewarm Coffee. Also h. bad a Cigar ready for t on ttie Trolley I.'ne. MORAL: Those who were not born to be Blase will alwnys be Blozzy. ,, ,.,r 3 m mm JlKi Ksad Flat-Head- third-rat- .arvai 29 W i you suffer burning, scanty of frequent urination backache, DO headache, dizziness, loss of energy, leg pains, swellings and puffiness under the eyes? Are you tired, nervousfeel all unstrung and don t know what is wrong? Then give some thought to your kidneys. Be sure they function properly for functional kidney disorder permits excess waste to stay in the blood, end to poison and upset tha whole system. Use Doan's Pills. Doan't are for the kidneys only. They are recommended the world over. You can get the genuine, Store. time-teste- d Doan's at any dn.13 |