Show s THE KEEP A P ITCH-INI- 7 N aaaaaaaaaaa— aaaaaaBaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaBaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiaaiaBBaaaaaeaaaaaBaaaaaaaBaaaasBBUBaaaaaaaaBaaaaaBaaaBaBaaBBaaBaaaaaaaBaiBaaBBaaaaaaaMaaaaa NEVER SAY DIE! with him he ’pears to look mighty baggy somehow and he ketched Dan’l by the nape of 'the neck and lifted him up and says: ?‘Why blame my cat if he don’t weigh five pounds” and turned him upside down and he belched out a double handful of shot and then he see how it was and he was the maddest man v a frog:” He set the frog down and took after that And the feller took it and looked at it fellef but he never ketched him! careful and turned it round this way and ' that and says: TERRIBLE ACCIDENT town sometimes and lay for a bet Once a feller— a stranger in camp he was— came across him with his box and says: “What might it be you’ve got in the box?” ' And Smiley said sorter indifferent-like- : “It might be a parrot orit might-b- a canary maybe but it ain’t its only just Nil Desperanduml Never get stuck Keep up your spirits Cultivate pluck J - Never say die Never despair Never be driven Harder to scare Never trust luckl Till you do what you can This is the wisest and Cleverest plan Strip for the conjlictl Off with your coat aaaaaaaaaa “H’m— so ’tis for?” “Well” Smiley “he’s good enough —he can Well what’s he good An unfortunate man deprived of his says easy and careless eyesight has lately appeared upon one for one thing I judge of the streets bearing a placard on which any frog in Calaveras the following pathetic legend is printed in county” the crimsonest of inks: ' The feller took the box again and took N D ! and and look another long' particular of Father children four degives it back' to Smiley and says very t Inconsequence of a Terrible Accident liberate: We pant for particulars and shall “Well I don’t see no points about that frog that’s any better than any other doubtless receive them by the next male ’ ‘Shall I help you to jsome tomatusses?’ frog” “Maybe you don’t” Smiley said inquired a young exquisite of a venerable “Maybe you understand frogs and maybe physician as he sat opposite to him at a you don’t understand ’em maybe you hotel table “No sir I thank you” replied the ain’t only an amateur' as it were Anyyou for ways I’ve got my opinion and I’ll risk learned savant ’“but I’ll trouble ’ p any the potatusses if you please forty dollars that he can frog in Calaveras county” ' ‘And the feller studied a minute or two THE NEW MEMBER and then says kinder sad like: "“Well I'm only a stranger here and I hain’t got A year or two since a Mr B was no frog but if I had a frog I’d bet you” elected to represent the town of Shelburne And then Smiley says: “That’s all New Haven in the Legislature He was right That’s all right If you’ll hold a plain old farmer full of sound sense and box a minute I’ll go and get you a my ready for any real work that was needed frog” and so the feller tookthebox and When he made his appearance at the put up his forty dallars along with Smi- State his hat was a perfect relic ley’s and sat down to wait his coarse frock and trow-seSo he sat there a good while thinking of antiquity of genuine dappled-grahomespun to hisself and took the frog out and pried his shirt bosom the product of his wife’s open his mouth and took a teaspoon and own loom and his boots of the thickest filled him full of- quail shot — filled him e and most substantial As Mr on and to near chin the him set up pretty B entered the lobby ’there were sev the floor Smiley he went out in the eral young “members” standing about the swamps and slopped around in the mud fire and to be supposing the and for a long time and ketched a frog a visitor they merely cast a glance at fetched him in and gave him to the fel- only his d face turned up their ler and says: noses at his verdant look and then conhind if “Now along- tinued their conversation you’re ready set B—— took a side of Dan’l' with his forepaws just even seat near the stove with Dan’l’s andTll give you the word” “No room here for visitors” said one Then he says “One-two- — three— jump!” of the flippants and him and the feller touched up the “0 I’m a member” “ you a member!” uttered the first frogs from behind and the new frog hopped ofl lively but Dan’l gave a heave speaker hitched up his shoulder — so— like a French “Sartin” responded B in a mild man but it wasn’t no usehe couldn’t tone he ansolid as was planted as an “Where from?” budge vil and he couldn’t no more stir than if r “Shelburne” he was anchored out “Well” said a fashionably dressed Smiley was a good deal surprised and he was disgusted too “member” with a disdainful look at the but he didn’t have no idea what the mat- rough coarse dress of the farmer “havn’fc ter was of course the folks in Shelburne got anybody else to 7 The feller took the money and started send here?” away and when be was going out of the “0 as for that matter” returned Mr door lie sorter jerked his thumb over 'his B with perfect good nature “I shoulder— this way— at Dan’l and says s’ pose there's a good many men there again very deliberate: “Well I don’t see that knows more’n I do rhut theyhavri't no points about that frog that’s any bet- any of 'em got any 'clothes that's fit to - t ter’ n any other frog” wear! The fledglings were floored and before Smiley stood scratching his head and looking down on Dan’l a long time and at the session closed they found that last he says: “I do wonder what in the from Shelburne” con1 7 Ultu wonnation that frog throwed off for a through question as der if there ain’t something the matter sec around it out-jum- p - '' ‘ BlI Drag old misfortune Along by the throat Don't grow despondent Don’t tear your hair (Tear some one else’s) You’ll need it to wear 1 Nil Desperanduml Never despair : Never say die While there1 breath in the air ’ out-jum- TIM SMILEY S FROG J BY MARK TWAIN lie cotched a frog one day and took him home and said he calculated to edu-- ‘ cate him and so he never did nothing for three months but sit in his back yard and learn the frog how to jump And you bet he did learn him too He’d give him a little punch behind and the next’min-ut- e you1 d see that frog whirling in the air like a doughnut — see him turn a summerset and maybe a couple if he got a and good start and come down all right like a cat He got him up so the matter of catching flies and kept him in practice so constant that he nailed a fly every time as far as he could see hiim Smiley said kthat all the frog wanted was education1 ‘and he could do almost any thing and I believe him Why I’ve seeii him set Danial Webster down here on the floor— Daniel Webster was the name of the frog — and sing out: “Flies Dan’J flies!” and quicker’ n you could wink he’d spring up and shake a fly off n the coufiter there and flop down on the floor again as solid as a gob of mud and fall to scratching the side of his head with his hind foot as indifferent as if he hadn’t done any mor’n any frog might do You never seed a frog so modest and straight1 for’ard as he was for all he was so gifted And when it caine to a quare jumping on a dead-lev- el he could get over more ground at one straddle than any animal of his breed you ever see Jumping on a dead level was his strong suit you understand and when it came to that Smiley would ante up money on him as long as ho had a red ' Smiley was monstrous proud of his frog and well he might be for fellers that had traveled and bin every where all said that he laid over every frog that they ever seed Well Smiley kept the beast in a little lattice box and he used to fetch it down d rs y cow-hid- new-com- weather-browne- 1 L - I far' a |