Show THE KEEPAPITCHININ that the post office clerks throughout the Union are striking for higher wages on account of the increase of business occasioned by our paper We rely upon such men as yourself and the loyal postmasters to keep this spirit down Be firm and do what is right let the consequence follow We have engaged Messrs Savage and Ottinger exclusively to do all the photoWe graphing for our vast establishment can freely recommend them to the great public as artists and gentlemen especially Savage N There’s scarcitv of work now And there’s scaniity of fin But there’s bound t ’Lea change e linin If we’ll keep-a-pit- Though clouds loom up around us And the world is dark as sin There’s light upon the mountains We must n There are bright days in the future Though we pass through thick and thin There are golden boulders coming If we’ll But we mus’nt droop nor languish If wh ever hope to win We must rally round the flag boys And keep The darker things have threatened The brighter they have been We shall surely be rewarded we’ll So we’ll keep-- a pitchiuin Our railroad is complet'd And our money’s coming in We’re bound to make tne riffle If we 11 If your appetite is aiMng " And von think you’re getting thiif Subscribe tor our paper t i 4 If your business does’nt fl lurish And you want to make it spin Do your heaviest advertising In the keep a piichinin If there’s anybody doleful Just grab him by the tin And lead him to the ollice Of the General Grant he sav’d the Union — Though it costa heap of tin — And how d’ye you ’spose he done if Why he kept hundred thousand people With all their kith and kin What may they not accomplish If they’ll Oh! a OF ONE AVIIO NOT WISELY BUT TOO WELL BY THE EDITOR Lemmons is one of the few of the immortal names that were not born to die He became accidentally associated with Philando a young man of suasive manners and impressive presence who was on the eve of visiting a lovely creature in the Sixth ward and by dint of much persuasion prevailed upon Philando to perOn reachmit him to accompany him ing the abode of the fair Imogene he was duly introduced to this lovely damsel though at the time he fancied he perceived a slight coyness on her part that almost verged upon coolness and consequently prolonged his stay unrilthe “wee sma hour ayont the twnl” in order that it might wear off Philando had already Before he left been gone some hours although she did not say anything he imagined from her assuming a recumbent position upon the sofa and from the steady regularity of her breathing that she was becoming somewhat reconciled to his presence Fearing to disturb the fair object of his adoration he determined to dispense with the usual ceremony of and not stand upon the Ah! or der of his going but go at once did we but know the future what a change would come over the spirit of our dream How true it is: and gone tomor “We are here row On the morning of the 2d of April 1869 the sun arose in all its umbrageous splendor The exuberant voice of chanticleer rang out like a clarion upon the clear morning air Ihe husbandmen were slowly rubbing their weary eyes while the little birds wabbled cheerily on s and all nature seemed to the rejoice The worm was just endeavoring to avoid the early bird when our hero emerged with unkempt hair and aspect somewhat wild in pursuit of a washbowl Ere performing his matutinal ablutions he paused to recast in his mind the incidents of the previous evening His power ful analytic intellect grasped the situation at a glance and revolving it before his mind’s eye he considered it a most for tunate circumstance that he had made a favorable impression from the first His heart was beating lightly Its mot on b dd and free His step was quick and sprightly As a squirrel or a flea It is customary at this stage of a story to go bapk a few years and bring up anterior incidents but we shall pursue an independent course in this as in other respects and as a faithful journalist give a plain unvarnished statement simply recording the facts as they transpired With a heart bursting with thoughts too big for utterance our hero parted his hair in the middle and wended his devious wav to the shebang of his inamorate in the Sixth ward It might have been imagination but he thought as lie entered the front door that he perceived leave-takin- tree-top- We’ve cotton in the South now Our gram is in the bin We’ve sugar on the islands And LOVED y We have seen the tempest gather In the gloomy days of yore We have braved the storms together And have heard the billows roar If LEMMONS OR THE SAD EXPERIENCE V 8 the dear one passing rapidly out of the back door His doubts were soon dispelled by the mother stating in unnecessary emphatic terms that she had been gone for hours and was not expected back until the following day Lemmons told the fond parent that he would call again in a few moments Whereupon the door was closed with violence this however might have been caused by the wind from the back door He determined to take a turn in the garden Was it instinct or his inward monitor that led him to the back door? Quien sale? How strange are the mutations of sublunary events! Our hero on turning the corner beheld a sight which froze the very marrow in his bones with horror snd lurking suspicion — he stood rooted to the spot his face assumed a cadaverous hue and his tongue clove to the roof of his mouth while great drops of perspiration trickled slowly from his manly nose What he saw was Imogene leaning fondly upon the stalwart breast of Philando while his manly arm encircled her waist None but those who have loved early and often can apppreciate his feelings! Turning aside to hide his emotion he felt himself suddenly hurled as from a catapult into a His first feeding large cistern of water on reaching the surface was a sort of sink ing sensation which was speedijy followed Every incident of by water on the brain his life passed rapidly before his mental vision as usual on such occasions and consciousness forsook him He might have lain thus two minutes or he might have lain two months were it not that his Suffice it to say board bill was unpaid that during his convalescence he had plenty of time for reflection and the idea gradually dawned upon his mind that perhaps Imogene did not after all love him so fondly as he had imagined! This idea gained strength on learning that Philando and Imogene were married famiThey are now the parents of a large Philando may still ly of small children be seen occasionally in front of Godbe’s building selling fish while Lemmons still true to his heart’s first idol runs a job wagon on Main Street ADYERTISEMENTH ft V DAVIS HAS GOT SHOT AGAIN also Cod fish Cannons’ Cholera Cordial Mustard Mustang Liniment and all the delicacies of the Season IF YOf Wf NTT01JEFN ALL ABOUT Kragin Kullom and Kolfaxand to see all his komic kollecttan of kards kail on James Dwyer IfOME MUSEUM AND MENAGERIE Go and see the bears climb from 9 a m to t p m y ' IF YOU WANT YOUR &URT1T TAKEN with a high forehead and smiling go to Savage & Ottinger |