Show A-Failing-Sol- Johnny was a stag Three years in the Jewell Institute with its every clay’s association with queens of the cp type had failed to kindle that spark that is usually present under masculine vests Johnny was a much sought after prize Captain of the football team with its attendant hen worship had not feazed him When Johnny shot the argument that gave the debate to Jewell from her formidable neighbor Haskell Johnny still remained obdurate He was besieged waylay ed invited out but Johnny wore the same big square unblacked shoes and put in all his spare time at his much beloved but very dirty desk in the chemical laboratory The girls gave him up as a bad proposition “You’re inert old man” sighed Willie his roommate also a chemist “Lord man if I only had your affinity for attracting queens why that Brown girl behaved like a lost chlorine atom today She floated around you for an hour looking for a place to hook on talk about valence You put Carbon in the shade old man” “Willie” said Johnny with his head bent over his desk “they are all right but I’m saturated This little problem I’m on here occupies all my spare valencies If this cussed stuff ever sees fit to crystal lize it means a whole lot to me IT1 be the big gazook get a degree as long as a carbon chain The queens around here are too active for Johnny I have about the same effect on them as water has on Sodium Bicarbonate and Acid Potassium Tartrate when I approach ’em they begin to effervesce Effervescence repels me old man” Johnny was excited “Seen her old man? Seen her? She’s taking some kind of feed chemistry No? Then you want to get busy She’s certainly the swellest compound that’s hit this flat for a century “oo” those eyes Willie you want to see those eyes they looked just like a cabalt bead And her hair Gad enough of it to furnish sulphur to fertilize a million acres and her teeth ! you want to see those teeth old dog! They are about the most perfect specimens of phosphate I ever saw And the hair! Lrn just the color of a sodium flame I looked at her when she came in till her cheeks took on the most beautiful lithium flame you ever saw Kick me old man it embarrassed her to beat the devil and when she looked embarrassed I felt like a millionth of a hydrogen atom Lord you want to see that dress she had on Thing was white like silver chloride and flaky I could like a test for aluminum ! |