Show artemus gets a dinner on tick artemus ward one ojie of whose peculiarities is as a lecturer is that th at lie h touches I 1 es upon almost every conceivable subject except the subject of his lecture is delivering a lecture on which he concludes witha with a capital hit at the north and south tile the last subject of which I 1 thought says artemus was the war when I 1 was an ail apprentice to the printing business in new hampshire having had a controversy with my employer I 1 ran away I 1 had no money and could not beg so I 1 called at a farmhouse farm house and asked if they had any clocks to mend they said yes and wished I 1 could fix it I 1 took the clock to pieces ate my dinner and then looked at the table where lay the count counties lesi wheels I 1 knew that I 1 never could put that clock together again aga in so I 1 told the folks I 1 was dizzy and would go out ont and get sonic borne fresh air and I 1 fled across the meadows meado W s like the bright eyed gazelle gas alle or anything else that goes quick those politicians who went to work to take the union clock to pieces to get their diml dinners els never meant to put it together gether 16 again they have stolen etolen their dinner but they will ivill not notre restore the clock I 1 told you mi mud lc 11 about the ghosts iud and it is so late now that there is not time but I 1 shall speak in san francisco in about four weeks from this timea time and all who hold bold tickets to this lecture will be admitted free by the way wo we suppose the engage mant mentioned in ti this ds last sentence is tile the one upon the tapis when artemus being interrogated by telegraph from san francisco as to what he would take replied by the return lightning brandy and water ill |