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Show There are my wonderful friends, the Seabold Family, who truly understand the meaning of love and family. And Lew Paisley (you'll be seeing his name again in the next couple of minutes), Randy Raine, and Ned Mudd, who prove that it’s possible to have integrity and honesty and still be in the legal profession. And Pastor Don Falke--if all preachers were like him, I might even consider joining up. And there’s...well...I could keep going but I’ll stop. The heroes d walkedto the phone: Ha punched: I heard a woman ber and switched ind octiinf “speller SL see "Governor's office," with a wonderful Bluegrass accent announce on the other end of the line. "This is Judge Paisley," said Lew. "I have a candidate for Kentucky Colonel." The rest is history. A week ago, I received my certificate in the mail. It says: I’ve failed to mention, and there are many more, will understand because they’re heroic. But I hope you get my point. Oliver Wendell Holmes once remarked, "I say to you in all sadness and conviction, that to think great thoughts you must be heroes as well as idealists.” As we move ahead, into this great unknown future, we need all the heroes we can find. With a generous dose of idealism as well. Seersucker suits, Mint Juleps, and Glory Last month I went back to Kentucky to visit some old friends and to get re-acquainted with two of the classiest women to ever walk the earth, my cousins Sarah and Nancy. I won’t embarrass them too much with words of praise except to say they should be proclaimed the Queens of the Bluegrass State. I also paid a visit to my buddy, the Judge---the Great Lewis Paisley of Lexington, a jurist of incorruptible values and common sense. We were in his chambers on the fifth floor of the Fayette County Courthouse one afternoon, telling slightly embellished tales of our sex lives as I recall, when I asked Lew if he had ever become a Kentucky Colonel. Of course, he replied. The title "Kentucky Colonel" is, according to the literature, "the highest honor that can be awarded by the Commonwealth of Kentucky.” They are "ambassadors of good will and fellowship around the world." Winston Churchill is a Colonel. So is Muhammad Ali. And John Glenn. God help me but Whoopi Goldberg is a Kentucky Colonel too. "You know Lew," I said, "If I could ever become a Kentucky Colonel, I think I could die a happy man...Wouldn’t that be something?” The Judge rose majestically from his high leather-backed chair To all to whom these presents shall come, greeting: Know ye that HONORABLE JAMES OGDEN STILES, JR. is commissioned a KENTUCKY COLONEL SUE GO LiPeigtecsecccieictcteen moons in one hand and a racing form in the other, I hope you'll understand. And please...call me Colonel. I’m having a spatial problem This is the second time in a row that I’ve been forced to pull stories or features that were intended to be in this issue. I have something of an excuse this time. The Zephyr shrinks by eight pages during the winter issues and it is more difficult to gauge space. But the real truth is, I have too many ads for 32 pages. Being the greedy capitalist that I am, and since I’d already committed to run the ads, I had to do a little carving. So The Twisted Tabloid is missing in action again, BUT will return in all its glory next time with Dan’s special handiwork for the upcoming First Annual RETRO ISSUE. And I cut myself; there is no Nutshell page this month. Wilson underwent emergency surgery Six issues a year for only $15.00 Twelve issues (2 years)...$28.00 Eighteen issues (3 years)...$40.00 Name drunk?" "No...nothing like that," said the Judge. "I just lied a lot." So now if you see me in a seersucker suit, with a mint julep Anne this month, but I spoke to her today and she is doing much better. We wish her continued rapid healing and look forward to her early return to these pages. (INCLUDE 9 DIGIT ZIP) PLEASE READ THIS: The P.O. will not forward 3rd Class mail. If you do not send us a change of address, we cannot be responsible for issues you did not receive. Subscriptions must begin with the next issuc...1996 & 97 back issues are available for $2.50 each. For earlier back issues call the Zephyr for a price list. Those readers who choose to take advantage of the multi-year discounts do so at their own risk. There is no guarantee that the world will be here in three years, much less this publication. The Zephyr may still make you ill, but it's still not the ink. WE USE NON-TOXIC TO EXPIRE! SOY INK Send Subscriptions to: P.O. BOX 327, MOAB, UT 84532 NOTICE TO SUBSCRIBERS If your mailing label indicates a: 12/99 or 1/00 your subscription is ABOUT TO Address. City. It was signed by Paul E. Patton, Governor. I called Lew that night. "What did you do, get the governor Finally, SUBSCRIBE THE ZEPHYR EMAIL THE ZEPHYR: We can be reached at: zephyr@lasal_net You should have received or you should soon receive a Did you miss something from a past issue? It may be on our web site, renewal notice. In order to avoid an interruption in your which now includes an expanded archive and color versions of subscription we must receive your renewal before Herb Ringer's outstanding photopraphs of the old West. January 15, 1999 www.canyoncountryzephyr.com The February/March issue of The Zephyr will be on newsstands We cannot include back issues with a bulk mailing. in late January. PAGE 5 Records Are Made to be Broken By Evan Cantor...and...NEW WEST BLUES: introducing Eric 6 Heather Savwah PAGE 7 CANYON COUNTRY IN A NUTSHELL...the photographic evidence: Dog of the Millennium! The Demise of the Big Tree POINTBLANK: Finally. thanks to nepotism. a Reader of the Month. PAGE 8 CANYON COUNTRY WATCHDOG: Herb and Liz and SUWA are having fits this month about Hansen's wilderness bill. ORV drill sites at Duma Point, movie monkeys at Factory Butte, more dumb guy vandalism in Spring Creek Canyon. MORE... abuse. GE 12 "REPLENISH’ ‘TIL IT KILLS US? As the world population passes 6 BILLION. Utah continues to breed as if there will be no tomorrow By Alexandra L. Woodruff ‘AGE 14 UTAH ON THE VERGE OF THE MORMON MILLENNIUM: The Future of Those Who Shall be Shorn By Steve Russell PAGE 16 UTAH AT THE MILLENNIUM: A Photographic Moment in Time photographs by A.L. Woodruff & J. Stiles 18 AROUND THE BEND AGAIN: By Ken Sleight Ken looks at the future from the Brink of the New Millennium PAGE 21 THE LAST MILLENNIUM: What was it like on the Colorado Plateau a thousand years ago? THEY CAN'T SAW By Rick Best PAGE 23 THE FOREST FOR THE TREES: By Denise Boggs of the Utah Environmental Congress FROM THE HERB RINGER COLLECTION... Then 6 Now: How things have changed in Salt Lake City...Herb’s view in 1948 and an update PA GE 30 FEEDBACK: Letter nails editor on the meaning of ‘speed limit.’ In defense of Owen Severance's article on the ‘Fun Police” and the NPS...The ‘mysterious’ Lake Powell? Ned Mudd’s warning to the Utah Chapter of the Sierra Club...AND the ‘best’ anonymous obscene email to the Zephyr. And the obscene reply. SS S17 eS |